TTC first baby... mega thread!

[Crossfitgirl]

For those of us TTC first baby, a continued thread for August 2018 :-) a place to share our new mummy journeys!

@BambiOnIce80 thank you honey. Really means a lot xxx

@Delilah7 you're not dampening anything at all - everyone is here to support you :) try and make time today to sort something, you really do need to look after yourself. Stress can also affect your cycles - don't worry about work, focus on getting better x

Wow catching up takes a while!

@Crossfitgirl thanks, no AF yet but still early in the day, my temp also hasn't dropped which I believe is a good sign (supposed to drop just before AF?) but I'll keep you posted!

@ttcat32 believe it or not, yes the tests are still hidden!! I almost caved and tried to get DH to tell me where they were yesterday but I didn't!! I'm so proud of myself. So AF due today, if it doesn't show, I get to test tomorrow!

@Delilah7 I'm so sorry you're going through this, I really hope you get to see your GP and get sorted soon. Love to you xxx

@bambi0ncle80 yeah I was thinking if the role was reversed and I was the man I wouldn't want to know it all as it is a mood killer. ;( and I do put him under a lot of pressure, I try not to but it's hard, we've been trying since December and I see every month as a waste when we don't hit the window! He doesn't feel well at the moment and I get arsey but I really shouldn't!

@cupcakesandglitter thank you lovely 😘

@purplestar9 thanks hunny. I hope you're ok xx

@cupcakesandglitter yeah, he talks about it all fine when drunk and I said to him at the weekend your talk about it all and how much you want a baby then, next minute you go funny. If it doesn't happen this time. I'm going to re think how I go about everything

@Delilah7 sorry trying to catch up with all the posts. I hope you feel better soon, ignore work. Your body and mind has been through so much, it's maybe all just starting to catch up with it's self and you need some you time to recover

@gjchapman thank you Hun honestly you guys have been amazing xxx

@gjchapman do you think maybe he's scared? I know DH said it's actually quite nerve wracking realising that it's actually a possibility 😂 x

@gjchapman, I very much hear you! Men and women have totally different pressures when TTC. It's a bit like we're the managers (we know the time scales of the project and when the work needs to be completed by for the best chance of success) and the DP's are the poor workers/sex slaves who actually have to do the work 😬 Entirely different pressures that neither party really appreciates! The managers can't help but get grumpy at the workers for failing to deliver in their role in the necessary time scale and the workers resent the managers for not understanding/appreciating the reasons for not being able to deliver 🤔

I'm exactly the same about getting grumpy about "missed opportunities", but time has taught me that you just have to let it go if it doesn't happen. You'll drive yourself nuts and add even more pressure on yourselves, if not. It's like a horrid negative feedback loop if you don't watch it - it doesn't happen = you get grumpy at him; you get grumpy at him = he struggles to perform under the pressure... Total head 🤬!

@BambiOnIce80 it's a never ending cycle isn't it 😩

I'm having a really bad day. I'm not disappointed as such that we didn't catch first cycle, but I'm upset that I'm not pregnant now? The wait is really killing me, and my anxiety kicks in HARD thinking about the what if it takes years? Does anyone have any tips to get over this? I'm so scared that it just won't happen for us 😭

@BambiOnIce80 that's such a good analogy! I'm going to try and remember that when it's not going to plan!

Sorry @cupcakesandglitter, I didn't mean to freak you out!! I've dealt with the TTC head 🤬 by having a little plan for each step of the way, ie (and I appreciate this is going to make me look 🦇💩🤪) :

Cycle one: Just go with the flow and DTD every few days and see what happens.
Cycle two: hmmm, that didn't work 😕 Maybe I'll just download the flo app to keep tabs on my fw...
Cycle three: still no joy 😕 Oooh look - you can record all sorts of 💩 on here 😮 I'll start adding as much information as possible...
Cycle four: Screw this, I'm cracking out the OPK's to make sure I'm even bloody ovulating!
Cycle 5: Not. Pregnant. 😡 Let's add conception support vitamins and fertility lube into the mix for luck 🍀 🙏
Cycle six: Read every sodding guideline under the sun and end up booking acupuncture as there's evidence this helps with TTC 📍
Cycle seven: Go see the nice Dr lady for investigations (you under 36ers would have to shift this to cycle 13, frustratingly 😔). Wait and see what happens and take it from there...

Might not work for everyone, but helps keep me sane-ish 😬

Ahh @cupcakesandglitter:( I guess the thing to remember is that even if you were extremely fit and healthy it's normal to not conceive straight away. It's hard to believe that even from doing everything right it still doesn't happen. And it's worse that each time takes a month which is sooo long when you're trying. The first month is a bit of a shock to the system but it's perfectly normal not to happen straight away. I try to remember that 'you can't worry about what you don't know'. So try not to worry about how long it takes because you really don't know, next month could be your month xx

@BambiOnIce80

@cupcakesandglitter I think he probably is, he was the same when we moved in together and when we got married! It's not like it's his body that anything will happen to lol. 

@BambiOnIce80 omg that is such an amazing way of looking at it! I might use that when talking to him!

I need to chill out more but it's hard ;(

@cupcakesandglitter
I know how you feel, every time, I know af is coming I can feel it but build it up in my head and then feel disappointment. Then just think what if I can have children. We do torment ourselves ;(

@BambiOnIce80 OMG it's like your in my head!

@gjchapman, I am in your head! 🔮👻

Seriously though, when I started out with the ex mumble years ago there wasn't places like this (that I was aware of, anyway) and TTC seemed like a horribly lonely thing to go through. Threads like what we've got make you realise we're not alone and we all worry about the same things. We may just as well share our crazy around because we're in good company 😉x

@cupcakesandglitter I think although this place is a little blessing it's also a curse in that we see a lot more people fall pregnant easily and forget that it's not the norm and statistically it takes up to a year but that's harder to believe when sat and everyday someone seems to get a positive x

@sunshine1987 I agree - I'm so happy for everyone with their BFPs but I can't help but wish I was joining too!

@gjchapman bless him, even though we go through most of it I suppose it's massive that at the end of it, we're parents! As long as you have his support and he has yours, it's something you can work on x

@CookieWaffle yeah it doesn't help that the months do just drag! I hate this TWW stuff, I've had symptoms I've never had before annoyingly 😩 I'm trying to stay positive and just chill out for this month - @BambiOnIce80 I love your plan! I've though about the lube etc, but I'm going to give it a couple of months first I think x

I do hate blood tests :(

@Delilah7 they aren't nice but I think it could be the only thing GPs can do to rule something out? X

@cupcakesandglitter fingers crossed hun xx

@Delilah7 weirdly I found them fascinating. I'm rubbish with needles so I drink a pint of water an hr before I go so they can find my vein quickly! I can check the results online and see all the different stats to reassure me that I'm just normal! I hope you feel better soon xxx