TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

@Laney79 they said not :-( I'm going to decide the test was a false positive and try my best to ignore it. Think my mental health is battered already by all this and other things. I feel on the verge of breaking down over it all, people think I'm so happy only dh knows the truth. May go see my gp for some help x

Oh and sorry no it wasn't an frer it was one the hospital gave me ages ago x

@goodlordwhathappened I'd go and see the gp if I was you, particularly if you have an understanding one. They may be able to help you -mine managed to get extra meds for me and has helped get me seen by a consultant despite not having the required three losses.

In terms of tests the most sensitive I've found bar frers are the clear and simple ones at B&M -says sensitive to 20mlu but show more than my internet cheapies that are meant to be 10mlu. Xxx

@laney79 I've done an frer today and it was negative! I've decided to ignore the pregnancy test and assume it was a false postive :-) fingers crossed in a couple of weeks I get a bfp :-) thank you for your kind words :-) xx

@goodlordwhathappened sorry it was negative but hopefully that gives you an answer-knowledge is power in my book.

Have everything crossed for you for a BFP in a couple of weeks lovely. Hugs x

Good morning ladies,

I've been lurking a bit reading your posts; and recognise a couple of you from other threads. You all seem incredible strong women and very supportive of each other.

I'm 30 and TTC #1
I came off the pill in December last year after 15 years on it.
I wasn't expecting great things from TTC as I have a complicated gynae history.
I have (had) endometriosis, lost my left ovary to a cyst when I was 14 and was diagnosed with uterus didelphys when I was 17. (This basically means I was born with two wombs. There are different versions of it, but I just had one cervix, 2 ovaries - originally, and two wombs joined together). It turned out my left womb, which I was told was the larger one, had no outlet at all to my cervix and after years of chronic pain it was eventually removed during complicated surgery. Since that surgery though I have been really well and not had any complications.

Cut to last December. Came off the pill, expecting not to conceive very quickly, if at all if I'm honest, but full of hope.
Lo and behold I got pregnant in January by some miracle. I started spotting even before I'd taken a test and was sent to EPU after a couple of bleeds. Long story short, the pregnancy progressed somewhat to 3.8mm (but I think much slower than it should have done from dates which don't add up), but I never saw a heat beat and it ended up being a MMC and I had an ERPC on 27th March. (These dates stick in your head don't they?)
I was gutted, but picked myself up.

Fast forward... I had a CP in June. Had a few symptoms (mainly burping a lot which was my first sign with my first pregnancy) so tested and got a faint positive 4 or 5 days before AF, still faint positive 1 day before and then bled as normal when AF was due. Had a faint positive following AF too, but stopped testing after that as it was such a mind f*.

Then September I was burping a lot again and got a really bad cold. On CD34 (cycles aren't regular to the day normally so waited to test) I tested and got a faint positive, but I was really ill as the cold had triggered an asthma attack. The GP had no choice but to put me on steroids and sent me for a blood test to confirm pregnancy as I'd had a faint positive. My period arrived two days later and was painful (they're not usually painful at all). The HCG test came back the following day as it having been 8. So not high, but looked like another early loss.

So, I was thinking I'd had a run of bad luck, the asthma attack probably didn't help and was full of hope to try again.

I really had a good feeling about this last cycle. I used OPKs for the first time and just felt really positive and good about our chances.

I started spotting 9DPO, and when it continued for 3 days I did a test which came back negative (this was a week ago today), or the tiniest squinter in the history of time. I tried to put it from my mind and wanted to wait for another 5 days to test again but as the week went on I was just convinced I was pregnant. Big boobs, bloated, crampy every day and physically exhausted by mid afternoon, the spotting was still on-going, which I'd had with my first pregnancy... I just knew.
Then on Thursday morning I just felt like something wasn't quite right and I started to bleed.
I knew I could have just assumed it was AF arriving late and be blissfully ignorant, but I just knew in my bones I was pregnant and needed to know if I was losing it or having pregnancy bleeding... I just needed to know. So I did a pregnancy test and it came back positive.
I saw the GP who sent me for a blood test and I have to ring for the results today and get another lot done tomorrow to confirm miscarriage. But I did a urine test this morning and the line is a lot fainter. I've been bleeding and crampy every day since Thursday. The blood has been very heavy and deep red, not like my normal period bleeding. No real clots but some stringy bits. But I was only 4 weeks 4 days, so I guess that's normal.

I've taken a week off work. I just feel broken. All that hope and optimism has vanished.
I'm really angry at myself as well for not having taken time to rest and relax when I 'knew' I was pregnant. Maybe this one would have stuck if I'd looked after myself better. Work has been really stressful for a few months and I feel like the stress is to blame for these losses. I know there's conflicting advice about if stress can be a factor in miscarriage or not, but I have read that stress can affect your progesterone levels.

I have a suspicion my progesterone levels aren't great after 3 really early losses and the fact I've never had any sickness or boob pain (or any other symptoms I would consider 'typical' pregnancy symptoms) with any of my pregnancies.
I'm also concerned my luteal phase isn't long enough at 11 days, but I know it's under 10 they're usually concerned about.

But my biggest worry is that this is all happening because my womb isn't the shape it should be and can't support a pregnancy.
Dr Google has informed me that there is an increased risk of recurrent miscarriage, late miscarriage and pre-term birth. But there are also success stories out there.
I just don't know if I should give up seeing what I'm up against or continue to hope that I'm one of those 'against all the odds' stories.

My GP says he's going to refer me to RMC once this miscarriage is confirmed as I've now lost 4 pregnancies in 8 cycles.
How long did you all wait for your referrals? And what are they likely to check first? Is there anything my GP can check before that referral happens? (Would a GP do the CD21 progesterone check?)

Sorry for this long, rambly post. I'm usually a very upbeat and positive person and I hate that fear and hopelessness is winning at the moment. I just feel so alone with all this.

I also feel bad because most of you have lost babies a lot further on than I have and I feel like I've no right to feel as upset as I do. I'm so sorry for your losses.

@knitkitty I'm so so sorry you found yourself here. These ladies are all so lovely and supportive. They "get it", so vent away. I'm glad your GP is supportive and I think given your history a referral to the RMC is the right way to go. Unfortunately these referrals can take a while. I think 3-4 months for an initial appointment, then they'll do loads of blood tests and internal scans and try to piece together what might be happening. With the short luteal phase I had this after my first miscarriage and took high dose vitamin B6 which moved ovulation forward in my cycle and lengthened my luteal phase by a couple of days. Following cycle I fell with my DS. Since him I've had a further 2 miscarriages and was awaiting RMC tests, tried the B6 again and I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant.
Your GP can also prescribe high dose folic acid. They can probably do some initial thyroid and hormone testing which will give you more information to take to the RMC.

I think you're right in having the week off to process things. Please please don't think that this is down to anything you have done. IMO stress, although crappy, will not be a factor in these losses. Take care of yourself, curl up on the sofa with trash TV, lots of tea and your body weight in biscuits. Wallow and feel sorry for yourself.

@KnitKitty I am so sorry.
I have a septate uterus. So not unlike yours but mine almost managed to separate instead of having two compartments if that makes sense.
I have had two early mc's (around 6 wks) and then in September last year we lost our precious dd at 27 weeks due to problems with her placenta.
I am currently 18 weeks on my 4th pregnancy. I have not had surgery to correct my uterus as my obstetric consultant is adamant that it is a blood problem that i have and that my septum isn't that pronounced. There is some research that suggests that the two may be linked. It's pretty sketchy though.
Anyway I just wanted to say that you should definitely look into making sure you are tested for all clotting factors, including MTFMR. But yes also hormones as well.
We went privately to see Dr Raj Rai at st marys in London who specialises in recurrent miscarriage and abnormal uterus shapes. You can get referred to him on nhs but it just takes a bit longer. Please ask me any questions you wish to. It's a shitty road, but hopefully with some tests and some support you can figure out what's going on.
In this pregnancy I am on aspirin & heparin. My consultant never found an actual clotting problem, but is unwilling to take the chance that I have one that just hasn't been identified yet. I hope that helps.

@knitkitty sorry you've found yourself here. We're a friendly bunch and can try to help you in any way we can. I have had a mmc, an early mc and a ?ectopic. Tests all came back normal, took a 6 month break from ttc, took b6 last month and I'm now 5+4. On aspirin and cyclogest as consultant said there's no harm in trying them. Terrified it'll all go wrong again but need to try to stay positive and hope all will work out. It took 8 weeks for me to get my first appointment then 12 weeks after that I saw consultant. Try to look after yourselves, plan some date nights, a weekend away or even a holiday if you can.

Thank you ladies, your support is invaluable.

@Labmum I'm already on 5mg folic acid because I have spina bifida occulta so am at higher risk for that. Will look into B6.

@Miami81 Thanks for sharing your experience with me. London is a bit far for me, but I'll see what's suggested. I've always had wonderful care on the NHS. It is frustrating that it takes longer though, isn't it? I wish you the very best of luck in this pregnancy. xxx

@Hopefulforourrainbow I've been considering a break for TTC too. I'm really in two minds about it.

I got my results back from Friday's blood test yesterday and the HCG was only at 48. With that and the heavy bleeding I'm sure it's over, but I keep having moments of denial about it. I had another blood test today and am seeing my GP again in a week to talk about the referral.

I saw an acupuncture practitioner today for a free consultation and have decided I'll give it a bash.
She was lovely and specialises in fertility acupuncture.
She encouraged me to get the referral as she said she's hopeful she can help me, but would like to be certain what we're dealing with. As I've had surgeries and endometriosis in the past she said things like adhesions or scarring could be affecting implantation so said I'll probably need scans and stuff.
She also said she doesn't want to offer advice on whether to continue trying before the referral or not, but said that in Chinese medicine any length of pregnancy is seen as the same significance in terms of the recovery afterwards and my body has obviously been through a lot this year; emotionally as well. i.e. sounds like she thinks I should maybe give it a break for a bit. But she said she's going to treat me as though I'm continuing trying regardless so I'm in optimum health for it whenever it happens again.
She also mentioned progesterone levels and we talked about stress being a factor in hormones not being balanced (as I was talking to her about having been very stressed at work these last few months and worrying that it's affecting my ability to stay pregnant). She was keen for me not to put any blame on myself and said that there's no evidence that stress causes miscarriage, but said that we want to reduce stress anyway and balance the hormones etc as best we can to be as healthy as possible.
I actually can't wait to start. My first appointment is a week on Friday. I'll have 1 hour a week for 4 weeks after that (possibly starting in my 3rd week of my cycle to boost progesterone) and then once a month. She said if I get pregnant she'd like to see me once a week again and possibly twice a week, depending, but if it's twice a week she'd only charge as though it was one session.
I was very impressed and feel like it's a way forward for now. Any control in situations like this is something to hold on to.

I just have to think about whether to take a break from TTC for now. It seems like the sensible thing to do... But so frustrating and heart-breaking in its own way at the same time.

@annelovesgilbert and @miami81 and anyone else on cyclogest. Does there have to be a certain time between doses? Days I'm working I need to do it around 5.30am before I leave the house and won't be able to do evening dose until around 9.30pm when I go to bed. Could do it half hour earlier but Still up then and worried about too much leakage and therefore not getting the enough of it. If I'm working the next day there's only 7.5-8 hours between doses. The consultant only mentioned putting it up front. Didn't mention back at all plus I have ibs so not keen on that idea anyway.
Hope you're doing well. I've been finding this week quite tough as in the past this is the week it's gone wrong. 🤞 for a good scan next week

Ok here we go again.

BFP last night at 10dpo, confirmed with FRER this morning, 11dpo.

Lines look decent strength, and i'm taking comfort from the fact i got a BFP with my DS on 10dpo too, so thats a positive sign.

LMP date was actually a miscarriage, so this is super quick but I feel ok so far.

Can post a pic if you like but wont if its gonna upset anyone, I know what its like.

Fingers crossed for you @whiteonesugar. Really hope it's sticky! xx

Thanks @KnitKitty you and me both!

Congratulations @whiteonesugar. 🤞for us!

Congrats @whiteonesugar - keeping everything crossed for you x

Thanks @hopefulforarainbow fingers eyes and legs crossed x

Thanks @Laney79

@Hopefulforourrainbow I only have one dose and have been lucky enough to be able to deal with it at the rear entrance. So I don't know I'm afraid.
@whiteonesugar congratulations, everything crossed for you.

@hopeful I had two per day and tended to do it at 7am and 10pm so again not an even split. I used the back entrance too, I've had chronic constipation this pregnancy and it made no difference at all to that. I've read that it's absorbed pretty quickly so I don't think leakage should be too much of a worry. An excuse to put your feet up on the sofa in an evening maybe?

@whiteonesugar fingers crossed for you.

Morning all :-) how is everyone today? I'm in the tww. Don't think I've caught this month so just waiting for next cycle. Today I realised how much I think about all this stuff :-/ I'm driving myself around the bend! Don't think I could cope with having a break as the only thing keeping me going is knowing we are proactively trying. My doctors here will do tests after 2 mcs, I've had two chemicals and two mcs. I'm trying to think even if I get pregnant again and lose it we will start to move forward with finding a reason at least! That sounds awful doesn't it! I hope you all know what I mean.

@knitkitty how are you? Feeling any better physically?

@whiteonesugar congratulations! I'm crossing my fingers for you! I know how hard it is to enjoy a pregnancy after you've had losses so I hope you're okay :-) xx

@goodlordwhathappened I totally understand. I'm contemplating taking a break from TTC but I feel in two minds about it for the same reasons you mentioned above. I had a chat with OH and he thinks it's a good idea. Just for a month of two to take the pressure off. I think we might take a not trying but not preventing approach and maybe try avoiding DTD too close to ovulation.

Thanks for asking, I'm feeling ok. Still bleeding a bit but looks like it's trying to stop now. I didn't cry yesterday for the first time since Thursday last week!
Have been doing a lot of baking and knitting and watching crappy films. I don't feel relaxed though. Just feeling on edge all the time which is starting to get really irritating. Did another test this morning and the line is still there but a lot, lot fainter now so might help my moments of denial stop.

How is everyone else today?

@KnitKitty it's so hard isn't it :-( I think having a break is a great idea I just don't think I can do it without really upsetting myself. My due date for my first mc (quite late) is approaching and I desperately wanted to be pregnant by then.

In terms of crappy tv I recommend greys anatomy (guilty pleasure!) good for a laugh and a sob!! I watched 4 seasons in a week when I lost my first !

In regards to the line, I personally felt a lot of relief when I got a negative test after my mcs. It helps you move on I think knowing it's all complete and the start of a new cycle. I hope you get that too xx

Thanks @labmum. The one at night is ok as I just go to bed after. It's more the morning one though I tend to sit for 20 mins or so doing my hair after so hopefully that's enough time.
Haha I binged greys for the 2nd time after my first mc. Love it! I didn't want to have a break either but my husband did and to be honest with you we both feel better for it. I had set myself deadlines of wanting to be pregnant again by first due date etc and ended up having a 2nd mc round about the due date which really didn't help things. Do whatever is right for you and your husband/partner.