TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3

[Miami81]

Hi all. Sorry I hadn't realised other thread was full.
Have tagged who I can remember.
Please add people in.
@AnneLovesGilbert @Labmum @Hopefulforourrainbow @zarala

Thank you moonpeace that's really helpful. I'm 38 so egg quality could also be my issue but my cycles have suddenly gone from 28 to 21/22 so I wonder if either I ovulate too soon or if my hormones are out of balance. I know dr google isn't the way forward but it's good to know that I can go get some support and answers from my go. I think once I get my period I'll go get an appointment organised. I think I assumed I'd have to have 3 m/c before anyone would look into anything. I really hope you get good news very soon xxx

@norbet you're welcome 🌺 it does seem very unfair, I had to go to the epau aswell to confirm our babies heartbeat had stopped it's horrible and you just don't want to be there. I too feel so lucky we have our 2 year old they certainly get you through the darkest times in your life. I've been tracking ovulation with my clear blue fertility monitor this month hopefully give me some kind of idea what's going on. Don't be fobbed off by your GP like I sort of felt I was, saying to me so what is you're worried about, stand your ground. Getting there, have good days and then some down days. Hope you're looking after yourself too. Xx

Thanks Laura xxxx

@norbet xxxx

@Hopefulforourrainbow Tmi but the bleeding has almost stopped-just the very light brown discharge on wiping. Still had a faint positive on weds so prob won't retest till Sunday at the earliest, although I know hcg is still there as I tried a cheapie opk strip today and it was a blazing positive (same as it was on Monday).

Strangely I feel so much better knowing I'm getting tests done-nothing makes the loss any easier but knowing I'm doing something to try and stop it happening again is so important. Started coenzyme q10 yesterday alongside high dose folic acid and pregnacare pre conception. Also if I'm lucky enough to catch again I'm going to take baby aspirin -fro what I can see it does no harm but might help. Gotta be worth a try x

@Layney79 hopefully the bleeding will stop soon and you'll get bfn.
I bought coenzyme q10 and the others recommended in this blog as I was convinced I wouldn't have got bfp. I just followed the links and bought exactly the same things that were recommended.
How are you all doing? I'm wishing i could fast forward time a bit. Can't help but worry this is going to go wrong again. Doesn't help hubby is away and I'm home alone too.

@moonpeace read about it on several sites, and my friend (same age) who has had ivf was told to take it as part of her regimen before treatment. Seems to be a school of thought that it could help with mitochondrial function, which may help a bit when eggs are maturing at ovulation. I think I'm clutching at straws but if there's even a tiny chance it'll help and no evidence of harm I'll try it.

@Hopefulforourrainbow I'm hoping my body sorts it soon too. Bleeding is gone-just a tiny bit of browny Cm when I wipe. Think today will prob be it. Going to test again tomorrow. It's a week today since I passed my bow in her sac so I guess it's prob still going to be positive. I did do an opk yesterday which was very positive but id had that earlier in the week too so I think the hcg is giving false results. Took about 10 days last time to get a bfn. Emotionally I'm doing as well as I can I guess. Feel better knowing I have the tests arranged, and a bit of a plan-but ultimately I'm still heartbroken and struggling to understand why it's happened to us again. It's just so unfair.

I totally get the worry -I'd be the same. I was stupidly positive with Bow, even got my mom to buy a Moses basket and I bought a couple of pregnancy books and a rainbow dog to make for her. I've said that if I do fall a third time (and I desperately want to) I won't register the pregnancy or sort booking/12 week scan appts until after a good early scan (prob 8-9 weeks). Emotionally I can't allow myself to hope and dream that much again. It's too hard when the news is bad. Sending you a huge hug, and although I can't allow myself to hope for me/us I'm going to be full of hope and positivity for you-your little one will be healthy, and will stick, come on little one, your mom deserves her rainbow xxx

Just realised I didn't link the blog again www.luisazissman.co.uk/?p=647. There's loads of success stories.
Yeah it sounds like you'll get your bfn soon. I'm in two minds about making booking appointment. It's so busy here. I might call midwife and make appointment for nearer 12 weeks just in case I get that far. My friend delayed hers and her bloods etc ended up being taken much later than they should have and she got lost in system for scan too. Thank you. That's so lovely of you. I really hope you get your rainbow too. Sending lots of hugs back xx

@Hopefulforourrainbow yeah-that's one of the blogs I read too xxx

Can't decide if I'm going to poas again in the morning to see if the line is getting darker.... might make me more of a psycho!

Tested again this morning. Major panic as boobs weren't sore when I woke up. I know symptoms come and go but thought it was strange they didn't hurt at all. Line is definitely darker and cb digital is now saying 2-3.

Good news @Hopefulforourrainbow

Hate saying this but my tests are still positive today. Got cheap one step strips which look like squinters, but also did a B&m bargain brand one and that was clearly positive, and the opk still positive. I guess it's going to take longer than I'd hoped. Been a week since I passed my bow. Last time test went negative within 10 days but then I'd had mifepristone and I guess everything had started to reabsorb as it'd taken so long. I just want it over now.

@ahopefulforourrainbow I had a huge panic a couple of days ago (Friday I think) I woke up and my boobs weren’t sore at all, was particularly concerned as they’re usually sorest on a morning. I also hadn’t been feeling too sick that day and was having the usual cramps and backache.

That was at 5+6 and symptoms have been back sporadically over the last couple of days, especially the nausea so I wouldn’t worry too much. Great news about the tests though (although I hate CBD with the weeks indicator, last pregnancy, mine didn’t alter for ages even though all was well at that point!)

@Laney79, I’m so sorry to hear that. I completely understand your urgency for it to be over and done with. Mother Nature is an absolute bitch at times xxx

Yeah I'm not a huge fan of the cb ones either. Boobs are a bit more tender now. They seem to get bigger and more tender as the day goes on. This is all such a head fuck!
Oh no @Laney79. Had hoped today would be the day for you. I'm not sure I remember testing after mine. My hcg had come right down though. Have you been having blood tests too?

No hcg blood tests. Nurse said it would take 1-2 weeks to get a negative, and today it's a week. The scan showed everything was gone though so at least I know there's nothing retained. I'll attach the pic so you can see.

The strip on the left is today-the one on the right was 20/9-day after we found out about MMC number 2.

I didn't know we could attach pics! The lines are definitely getting much lighter. I think in another few days it'll be completely negative.

I just got the call from the EPAU confirming that my levels have dropped, and that I've definitely miscarried. I'm more upset than I expected- I thought I was completely prepared to hear it but I now I feel like crap. I'm going to go buy a huge dairy milk and put my pjs back on. I've asked my boss if I can stay off til Wednesday and I'm sure she'll be ok with that.
Sending hugs to everyone also going through this and hoping everyone else gets positive news xx

So sorry to hear that @norbert23. Sending lots of love and hugs xxx

Good morning ladies. Sorry for him but I'm a bit concerned about the amount of leakage from the cyclogest. Even when I get up in morning there's still loads from night before. As for morning dose, I don't have time to lie down for a wee while after. I'm not keen on putting it up back as I have IBS so worried it causes more problems.

Can I get your opinions ladies?

I'm thinking of posting the following on Facebook as part of babyloss awareness week...what do you think?

Right about now I should be packing my hospital bag, and freaking out about giving birth to our first baby.

Instead, I’m waiting for my body to recover after losing our second little one. And we are heartbroken.

I’ve had two “missed miscarriages” - no signs anything is wrong until you have a scan and they discover the baby is far too small for your dates. I’d never even heard of it until it happened to me. And that is one of the reasons why I’m writing this.

Miscarriage isn’t spoken about. It’s kept for quiet conversations in hushed tones. As a woman you aren’t warned that actually miscarrying can happen in several different ways, and there aren’t always signs. So when it does happen it’s even more of a shock.

By not talking about it, not being open, it adds to the horrendous feeling of guilt and shame that comes when you lose a baby. Because it’s not spoken about you feel like you shouldn’t either. But do you know what, enough. I am going to talk about it, I am going to talk about those teeny tiny precious bundles of cells that we created that bought so much joy even for such a short time. I owe them that. They existed, and they may be the only ones I ever have.

Miscarriage and baby loss is devastating. The amount of people who, when I told them what happened to us, said yes it happened to me too is incredible. I know it’s personal, and bloody hell is it painful but it should be talked about more openly. If statistics are to be believed it happens in one out of four pregnancies. I’m on the fence about that- it’s 2/2 for me and both have been missed-something you apparently have a 1% chance of.

Oh and just a few tips if someone you know and love does experience baby loss. For me I’d say please no platitudes, no it’s just terribly bad luck, no I’m sure it’ll be fine next time, and definitely no well at least you can get pregnant (no use if they die at 6 weeks or I can’t carry them)...just give me a hug and know that there’s nothing you can do or say to make it better, I wish there was.