Over 40 ttc - August baby dust for me!

[Orchid222]

Ladies, here's our 2nd summer thread :)

Fingers crossed for you weasledee

One day away from the scheduled arrival of AF. No symptoms bar the odd cramping which happens usually. Did wake up at 2am with horrid horrid abdominal pain think that was more to do with last night's dinner than anything else, I think have a good week, all 👍🏼

Oops, sorry thought we did a new one each month!

Feeling very sad, just caught up with an nct friend I haven't seen in ages, she said she's pregnant with her 2nd and also told me another mum from our group is pregnant with her 2nd 😢 I'm finding these announcements increasingly difficult so decided to make an appt at a private fertility clinic to discuss ivf

@Orchid222 it's really tough isn't it, you have to outwardly show how happy you are and inside it cuts like a knife, hope you're ok, sounds like you're taking positive steps though. xx

It's so hard and I've reached my limit, coming to 1,5 years of ttc and enough is enough, I need to do something to help myself, just wondering if I should do mild ivf or the normal one with all the drugs etc.

Hi @Orchid222 - I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way - I know how awful it is. Obviously it has to be your decision but if I my offer some advice - the chances of IVF being successful at our age are so low even with standard IVF that going for mild IVF would just reduce that chance even further. It’s mainly used for younger women or MFI I think and wasn’t even considered as a viable option by my clinic.

Hope this helps you xxx

Hi ladies, well I'm confused and annoyed with myself!
I managed to sneak out to the supermarket and buy an frer... except I bought the wrong type of frer! Didn't even know there was too types! There's the good one (early response) and a rapid response which is only good after period is missed! Needless to say it was a bfn. Wish I'd bought the right one as now I'm just confused

In fairness @mondaycando1 we could quite easily do nearly 1000 posts in one month 😱

1.5 years is a long time and very hard physically and mentally but I try to say when I get down it's not forever, there will be an end and it's just a chapter albeit a tough frustrating nail biting hellish one with loads of sacrifices - Bloody AF isn't here after all, I don't feel pregnant it must just be v v late, but if it doesn't come soon I'll be out for sept as OH away during new OV time.... arggggh. xx

@Weasledee how frustrating! Did you say AF is due tomorrow? If so you won’t have to wait too much longer at least 🤞

@Mondaycando1 I think our threads only ever last 2 months max!

I started the testosterone gel this morning - I swear it’s brought me out in spots already!

WEASLEDEE - I don’t know if this helps but I did read recently that the sensitivity of the rapid response is quite a bit less than the early result ones but unfortunately I can’t remember what the hcg measurements were for each one. I googled because I made exactly the same mistake!

Keeping fingers crossed for you WEASLE! x

So we have been trying to conceive and due to my partner thinking I have the egg supply of a 18 year old and generally being an idiot bloke so far in the process he has had to do practically nothing. I'm 43 years old I am sure many women can relate to the stress of having a partner who is an idiot and emotionally inept when it comes to the process of fertility. I'm completely stressed, my mood swings have been awfuk as I'm between tears and anger at not being able to conceive.So far I've had loads of tests, all have come back ok and an op to remove a polp in the uterous while all he has had to do is provide a sperm sample. No wonder he feels the process is no big deal currently. my LH came back at about 0.8 and apparently I have few folicles although they could not see the other ovary. This is all at Guys hospital...We have also been told that egg donation could be the most successful route as without them being able to find my other ovary (it is there) they cannot do the hair count and that possibly it may be only a 5% chance of conception through trying to find my eggs /stimulate them. I am going back for another scan.....My partners sperm count was about 37, but they said this didn;t seem to be a problem and kept focusing on me I am devestated. I am ovulating regular and have zero issues and there have been zero issues of concpetion in my family. My question is on Clinics abroad that donate eggs and would it be worth visiting ARGC My marriage feels like it is on the verge of a break down because frankly he would not try earlier and we are now in this position because of him, I feel absolutely desperate and beyond devistated

Wishingbaby- so sorry to hear about your situation, it's hard even with the most supportive partner, it must be additionally stressful for you but glad to hear you're looking into options, that's already 1 step forward. I think you will have more luck asking your question on an IVF board as I'm sure ladies there have used donor eggs whilst most of us here have been trying naturally or via IVF with own eggs. Wishing you all the luck in the world both with your marriage and the pregnancy.

Dinah no doubt there will be an end to that chapter, question is what the outcome will be. I know it can happen (my grandmother got pregnant at 44 and I also have a friend who gave birth at 44) but I just find I can't leave it up to mother nature any longer. If I had at least 2dc then yes I'd continue trying naturally but that's not the case...

Critter-I know what you're saying about IVF but part of me keeps thinking they always focus on our age, what if the problem is on the other side or we just need a bit of help? My DH's sperm results were great but that's all on paper, maybe those swimmers need help? Or maybe our timing is off even though I do my very best to time it well? I believe Russkispy tried naturally for a while and then succeeded with IUI, I have a feeling if she went to your fertility clinic (and many, many others!) they'd recommend standard IVF right away while in fact she just needed some help. I don't know, just thinking out loud I suppose. I feel frustrated and a bit lost and want a plan asap so I feel like I'm doing something.

@Orchid - I understand your thought process exactly - I did go through that. I think for me it’s the fact our budget is limited - the three cycles we bought will really be it as we can’t afford the 7 to 11 cycles that it often seems to take over 40s to succeed. For that reason we decided to throw everything we could at it for these 3 cycles. Now with the benefit of hindsight, many sessions with consultants and a failed cycle which went absolutely perfectly but still wasn’t successful behind me I understand much better just how difficult it is for our 40 year old eggs to make the grade and do think the more help we give them the better chance they have 😊 obviously everyone is different and some people prefer less intervention, but I kinda think that if you’re doing IVF then there’s little point trying to keep things more ‘natural’. Anyway I’ll stop rambling - I hope you get your head around it and can come to the best decision for you soon - once you go in for your initial appointment your clinic will run through all the options with you which will help 8m sure xxx

Critter-you're absolutely right, I'm looking into clinics right now. I've also read about natural cycle IVF with IVM, have you heard about it?
It's In Vitro Maturation (IVM) which involves the collection of immature eggs, which are then matured in the laboratory. By this method, it is possible to collect multiple eggs without giving hormone stimulation.
Sounds interesting though I think that's taking things too far for me in terms of science, not sure how I would feel about my eggs being matured in a lab...

@Orchid222 - I read about IVM somewhere - I think in a Zita West book. IIRC it’s a very new process that’s not yet offered routinely everywhere. It’s certainly not offered by m6 clinic so 8 don’t know much about it really.

In my case egg maturity, fertilisation sand embryo growth to day 5 were certainly not a problem - all that went beautifully. Failure is purely down to either poor embryo quality tha5 affected post day 5 development which is Dr Doom’s favourite theory or a problem with implantation. In honesty I think implantation is an issue because with the fertilisation rate (100%) and 5 day blast formation rate (4/6) I had then i should at least be achieving CPs in some natural cycles, but it seems that I can’t even achieve a CP which should happening based on the results of the IVF cycle. This time I’m having an endo scratch so hoping that might help 🤞

@Orchid222 - I meant to add, if you’re worried about the IVF drugs an£ that’s what’s putting you off i would say don5 worry too much. At our age they use short protocol so you’ll be on the drugs for only around 10 days. We avoid the nasty down regulation drugs which make people feel poorly on long protocols, and whilst the injections aren’t pleasant I didnt feel atall unwell on the meds. The worst of it was the very uncomfortable ovaries as i had 8 follicles over 20mm by 7 days.

@Orchid222 , you're right, I had IUI back at home after 5 months natural TTC. I got inpatient and went for IUI on my 6th cycle. I had acupuncture every 2 weeks and took supplements and ate all iron rich foods. My fertility doctor suggested IVF and I declined. Told her I wanted IUI first. And my acupuncturist told me my body was ready for implantation and sustaining pregnancy. We just needed this little nudge and felt IUI was the right option. I took Clomid cd5-9 days, had a scan on cd10. Had 2 dominant follicles around 15mm. Took one more clomid pill, then ovitrelle trigger and IUI was on CD13. And 2 weeks later it was BFP! My DD is 15 months next week.
Again we had IUI this May after trying since January. Also had a polyp removal endometrial scratch in March. Waited 1 cycle and our IUI was in May. Same protocol as above but didn't respond to Clomid well. 2 follicles were only 11mm on cd10. So I had to inject Gonal for 2 days and my follicles grew to 21 and 22mm respectively. Ovitrelle trigger and IUI. 2 weeks later was BFP but sadly it was a missed miscarriage at 8weeks. Pregnancy stopped at 6. I'm now 1 cycle post MC. Will do natural this month and scheduled IUI next month. Again home. Got Clomid here and will just follow the same protocol and see what pans out. I'm having acupuncture every week by the Chinese specialist. Drinking herbs by ferility herbalist. Taking supplements. And recently started reflexology. Throwing everything in! At whatever cost!

@Orchid222 and @CritterTamer and any other ladies looking at Iv route read the Sharon Marshall article she was interviewed and said that other bits like acupuncture and diet were also essential ( or it might have been on her Twitter feed about the article.. anyway worth a look.
@Wishingbaby my other 1/2 thinks that dtd 2 days before af is due,will still get us pregnant!!! He did keep telling me to put my back into it better... whilst we were walking around Paris, it did involve a mammoth argument as I pointed out that I should have been waddling around Paris at 6 months pregnant if I hadn't have had a m/c 😡 not sure if he has gotten better. I just care less about how he feels as can't carry around 2 lots of emotions but he is still up for trying or should I say contraceptive free sex ( so as a man who is going to refuse that) but still goes gooey over little babies, so I guess we are on the same, slightly dysfunctional path... although I will say fertility yoga works a treat to chill out a bit, stress is not helpful in this process. Look after you first.
@Orchid222 big hugs re new arrivals, had some snuggles with nephew last week and find it hard to paint that smile on sometimes.. although v happy for his parents..
sorry if I've missed anyone's thread
Big hugs and baby dust and crap to all these af arrivals

Ooh not sure how I managed to be that in bold 🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♀️

Not good news ladies, looks like it was a chemical, after driving around several shops I found an "early" frer and got a bfn :(
That will teach me to get sticks out the bin!!!!

I'm not too sure @weasledee but I think I can just about to see the line?

How many dpos are you now?

Due on tomorrow, particularly fed up as I'd allowed my mind to wander and imagine the future.... :(

I just had heart sink moment.
I am CD10 and feeling much wetter (tmi sorry) and today passed globule ewcm prob not watery enough to indicate ovulation but certainly getting there. Also feeling breast twinges. I was feeling pretty chuffed and to celebrate as one does I splashed out on some clear blue dual test strips. The ones that detect oestrogen prior to the LH surge.
And it was blimming negative for everything. Not even a flashing smile to indicate high fertility (did not expect peak)
So not sure what to make of that.
I’m not charting yet as did not want to get too immersed in this process only to be disappointed.
But anyway. I think I may give the OPK tests a break for now.
Feeling 😓😳😓😳😓