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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

961 replies

LookingAtTheStars89 · 31/05/2018 18:08

CALLING ALL YAMMER'S!

Yammer rules:

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement. Please read the rules before posting!

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

  • Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day
  • Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only
  • Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways
  • Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month
  • Thou shalt not be offended by strong language
  • Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams
  • Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

  • Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

NEW RULE ALERT!

-Thou shalt not post pictures of positive pregnancy tests. We will be delighted to hear about it but no photos, please and thank you

OP posts:
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6
Chooklass · 16/08/2018 20:35

I agree @Booksandbaths1 , this group is a life saver!

I'll be 8dpo tomorrow. I dread the last 6 days before FP these days. The potentially test-able time. Feel like I can't concentrate on anything else. I've not used tests since I got that false +ve frer (or chem) a few months ago - it broke me to finally see a line after so long for it to be gone the next day. Not putting myself through that again (though still feel the urge).

BGDino · 17/08/2018 03:32

@maddiie I second what @chooklass says re investigations. I went to my GP after no periods 6 months after stopping the pill and she was like “that’s definitely long enough for something to be up”.

@Pinkemi @owlpatrol @LexiJean sending you hugs, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to juggle this around work, I feel so spoilt!

Totally agree this thread is keeping me sane, or as close as possible.

8 days until the test...

BGDino · 17/08/2018 04:42

@chooklass we can count down together!

Owlpatrol · 17/08/2018 08:32

@Chooklass I'm 13dpo today and cramping badly Sad onto cycle 21 now I think. It would be a miracle baby now!

But thank you all for your kind words this thread keeps me sane! We must all be due a bfp soon on this thread! If af comes this month what's everyone's plans for next month?

Chooklass · 17/08/2018 08:42

I'm going to try asprin next cycle and get back on the low sugar wagon properly. Gearing up for two big family weddings in a couple of months so have extra incentive to lose a few pounds and clear my skin up!

Hope FP stays away @Owlpatrol. I made the mistake of counting up the cycles a few weeks ago - am on cycle 17. I remember in the beginning seeing women on these threads who'd been trying this long and, although I didn't expect it to happen first time, I never thought it would be that long for me! 😭

LimpLettice · 17/08/2018 08:47

Hello yammers. Still lurking, still got positive vibes focussed firmly on thread. So sorry everyone's having a shitty time of it, the swollen bellies and tummy rubs still wind me up and I'm big enough myself now.

Pinkemi I might be totally wrong but as far as I know you do not have to give any reason at all for taking your leave entitlement, and if you want to use it on a hospital day it's absolutely none of their business whatsoever. I think I'd be quite firm about that if I were you and tell them you were only being polite by saying where you'd be. Manager sounds like an intrusive jobsworth.

LexieJean · 17/08/2018 09:07

Morning yammers!

TFIF!! Knackering week what with all the timed sex 😂 can’t believe I’m only 3dpo. This is going to be a loooooong 2ww!

I’m on cycle 30 something 😳 but in the spirit of positive mental attitude I’m not really counting cycles any more.

@owl next month I start chasing my borough for my nhs ivf funding. I’m also scared @pink and never thought I’d get to this stage but it is what it is.

Owlpatrol · 17/08/2018 09:13

@Chooklass me too never thought I'd be here either! Next month I'm pushing dp for his tests and going from there so fed up of not knowing now!

Booksandbaths1 · 17/08/2018 10:01

@owlpatrol sorry to hear about the cramping. I loathe the last few days before FP arrives, it's such a head fuck. Every cycle I tell myself I won't get my hopes up... and I do.

I'm trying the asprin this cycle. I think I'm 2 dpo but I didn't use opks so not certain. My DH has borderline low sperm count so we aim for every 2-3 days in the fertile week regardless. Figured too often depletes the swimmers 😂 Not sure if that's the best approach though. I need to chase up my hycosy and find out for certain the deal with paying for private ivf before nhs cycle. If we are allowed to we may aim for Oct/Nov. I've just read 'it starts with an egg' and have ordered a load of ubiquinol as apparently itis a good antioxidant. Told DH last night that we should be eating a Mediterranean diet as it's best for fertility - his response was 'does tiramisu count?' 😆

Chooklass · 17/08/2018 10:40

@Booksandbaths1 😂 I wish tiramisu counted!!

Owlpatrol · 17/08/2018 13:39

@Booksandbaths1 love that! Made me chuckle. Yeah I hate the last few days before af arrives

Teachermummy83 · 17/08/2018 17:46

I should have predicted it - Yet again, the day I go baby-gift shopping for all the fertile f***s popping out gorgeous newborns all around me, AF arrives before I’ve even unpacked the shopping. 2 days early as well...... bugger, bugger, bugger!!!!!

Owlpatrol · 17/08/2018 18:06

@Teachermummy83 oh no how shi**y I'll be joining you tomorrow. I've been avoiding this pregnant lady I know all day....Back home from holiday now I've OCD'd the house and bought a bottle of wine and a large bag of giant buttons

LexieJean · 17/08/2018 18:30

@books check your local ccg website-mine allows up to 2 privately funded ivf cycles and then couples still qualify for nhs funding but they all vary so worth checking.

Teachermummy83 · 17/08/2018 18:38

Tell me about it @owlpatrol! Exactly the same happened last month, so I’ve decided nobody’s getting baby gifts from now on - they’re the jinxing factor! Hope you have better luck than me - enjoy your wine and chocolate. I’m on a major diet so it’s Diet Coke for me tonight at a wedding dance..... sigh 😔

Booksandbaths1 · 17/08/2018 23:36

@LexieJean ha yes, you'd think so! I checked our ccg website & it was ambiguous. So I emailed them & got 2 conflicting responses (1 said we could self fund 1st & other said we couldn't). So I called them and they didn't really know for sure. Then I called our local clinic... anyway it turns out we can definitely can self fund 1 x cycle so I think that's what we'll do, eek.

Happy weekend all! Chin chin 🍷🍻 x x

BGDino · 18/08/2018 07:05

Next month is round 2/4 of OI (specialist only attempts x 4 before moving on to IVF). Have been off the booze since July for the treatment, aim to maintain that and do a bit better with self care as this TTC is doing bad things to my mental health. Apparently my clinic has counselling, thinking of looking into it.

6 days till blood BHCG. 4 FRERs burning a hole in my bathroom cabinet. Somebody grab my wrists!!!

FairyAnn · 18/08/2018 08:07

Morning all, sorry I've been absent for a while. Everything got a bit much and with lots of stress on top of it with work, had to retreat for a bit.

We have our follow up appointment on Thursday so hopefully will get some updates then.

Had a talk with my partner recently and he's admitted he's feeling down because he feels this is his fault (poor motility). Has anyone been in a similar situation? How can I reassure him that I don't blame him at all. I see it as something we overcome together, not just on him. I love him so much and I hate the thought of him blaming himself

Owlpatrol · 18/08/2018 11:54

@Teachermummy83 there's this pregnant woman from work and it usually falls to me to organise baby showers (pass the sick bucket) birthday etc and I have outright not engaged in any conversation about planning it. I literally can't face it

@BGDino sounds positive and once again yammers have made me feel better. I was ready to throttle something this morning but knowing you are also thinking about your mental health this makes me feel I am not the only one!

@FairyAnn my dp is in a denial stage that it could be him, it's so hard! I wish I could offer some tips but mine thinks that because he has two already (previous) it can't be him.....It's very frustrating

LexieJean · 18/08/2018 13:21

Hey @fairyann I know my oh has been struggling recently, he really thought it would happen quickly and is frustrated and sad. We’ve just tried to talk to each other and be reassuring and I’ve been emphasising we’re a team. It’s really hard though, so many emotions. Wish I had some decent advice for you! I guess just keep repeating that it’s not his fault and you’re in it together?

FairyAnn · 18/08/2018 13:26

Thanks @lexiejean and @owlpatrol, I think continuing to speak of us as a team is the best way to go. It's so disheartening to see everyone else have it so easy. We don't want much in life, not bothered about expensive things or holidays. This is the only thing we want

Booksandbaths1 · 18/08/2018 14:03

@Fairyann I echo what the other wise yammers have said. My DH has slightly low count and low morphology. We've been told it may be a contributing factor to our lack of bfp but the reality is that conceiving is a complex process. So the way we see it is that we both take steps to improve our chances (healthy eating, vits etc) whilst also being realistic that we need to still enjoy life and being a couple. Do remind yourselves that we wouldn't 'blame' someone or oneself for having cancer or getting flu so why on earth would you for fertility issues. It's just random and also incredibly common.

Booksandbaths1 · 18/08/2018 14:12

@BGDino I think going to see a counsellor at your clinic would be a great idea. I've been completing a higher ed course p/t and accessed a few free counselling sessions via the course. I think the counsellor lady was a bit surprised when I wanted to talk fertility issues instead of coursework but it was soooo helpful. I found offloading my fears and worries to a neutral person made me feel calmer. I think @pinkemi said she went to see someone too and also found it helpful. I'll definitely be utilising the clinic counselling for ivf if that's what we have to do.

FairyAnn · 18/08/2018 14:24

A very good viewpoint @booksandbaths1, thank you 😊

Pinkemi · 19/08/2018 08:34

,@FairyAnn yeah ive been to talk to to a councillor recently and found that it really helped. Ive been going through a lot of other rubbish on top of TTC so it felt good to get it off my chest.

So DH and I made sure we "did it" before he left (as hes away this weekend) and low and behold i think i ovulate today. Temp has shot right up! Typical as he is away until tues or Wed.

Guess this month is out too. Lol

What with all the rubbish going on these days.. struggling to keep positive and enthusiastic about anything. [Confused] basically coasting through life.. which is a bit sad really.