The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

[LookingAtTheStars89]

CALLING ALL YAMMER'S!

Yammer rules:

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement. Please read the rules before posting!

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

NEW RULE ALERT!

-Thou shalt not post pictures of positive pregnancy tests. We will be delighted to hear about it but no photos, please and thank you

I dunno what made me do it.. but just took a test 5 days before period is due and of course it's a BFN.

Been feeling really on edge this morning. Broke down in tears for a really stupid reason and i guess i was just being hopeful. (Hope is still slightly there.. wont go until FP shows her face.) Onto the 15th month of trying.

@Pinkemi hugs

@BGDino thanks! I think i took the test because I was off to a BBQ and wanted to be able to have a few drinks. Plus with all the "symptoms" I have been having.

I've got really lax with my weight loss etc again. I dunno why I do it! Lost 7lbs in June eventually (because of a bad weekend of eating). July will need to be better! Have been looking at bootcamps etc.

Thanks @LexieJean - it was a glorious weekend!

Sorry to hear that @Pinkemi

I'm going to have to POAS if FP doesn't arrive soon as I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Already dreading the white window of doom!

On an unrelated note, finally going off call and turning my phone to Do Not Disturb mode at 5pm today was soooooo satisfying

Good luck @hope

My FP arrived on Saturday. Wasn’t a huge surprise but still made me sad.

I did however get my referral letter to start nhs ivf so we have to make an appointment. Not sure how I feel about it- kind of like we’ve run out of time.

@BGDino enjoy some well deserved r&r!
@hope good luck with the test and well done you giving blood. Truly admirable.
@LexieJean sorry about FP. What do you mean running out of time re ivf?

Can anyone advise me re HyCoSy... we went to see a private specialist who said there wasn't much point in doing one as if I'm not pregnant in 6 months they suggest ivf which bypasses tubes anyway. However I've read tube testing is a common preliminary test for infertility so I'm unsure why I'd not get it. Have you guys had it done? Nhs or private?

@books I just mean it would have been nice to get pg naturally. I’m not sure the ivf will even work but it makes me feel like we’ve given up on getting pg without stuffing my body full of drugs. I don’t know- I’d LOVE it if the ivf works obvs I just feel a bit mixed up about it all at the mo. I’m so grateful we have the chance, don’t get me wrong it’s just a bit weird 🤷‍♀️

@LexieJean ah yes I understand. I feel equally torn myself. The doctors want us to do ivf soon ish due to my crappy fsh/amh but I wonder if we should just leave it longer as I'd love to just get pregnant naturally. Plus the v real fear of trying ivf and it not working - good as a back up plan but not one we actually have to use. Sorry, I'm waffling but just trying to say I get it. Perhaps try to see it as pursuing an additional avenue to having a child alongside the old fashioned way.

@LexieJean @Booksandbaths1 I know what you mean. I think I'm still going through the process of accepting that this isn't going to happen naturally, that something that should have been fun and spontaneous and relatively stress-free for hubby is now going to be very timed and clinical and pressured. I find out on Thursday if we're going to go with ovulation induction vs IUI vs IVF I think... honestly I just want to get on with the process, whatever it is...

@BGDino I hear you on the "something that should have been fun and spontaneous" bit. Im struggling to keep my libido up... which i know is upsetting for my OH.

Oh god @pink both mine and OH libido are seriously low now thanks to TTC-it just takes away all the spontaneity and we’re both feeling the pressure.

I don’t know what ovulation induction is @dino but I hope you get some answers/a plan you can work with on Thursday.

@LexieJean I know exactly what you mean about time running out. Before our cycle of IVF started we had a two month wait and even though I knew it was basically impossible for us to get pregnant again naturally, I was still devastated each month when we didn't.

No one actually wants to put themselves through IVF if they don't have to.

Of course @si1ver, it’s such a hard stage to get to. I think in my head I thought I was ok with it but I guess the letter made it more real and just messed my head up some more! How are you getting on?

I'm ok @Lexi, 10+2 and starting to feel a bit more human. I have another early scan tomorrow and then I get sucked into the NHS care cycle. My 12 week scan is on the 18th.

Let us know how tomorrow goes @si1ver. Nice to hear from you and glad you’re feeling ok.

I’m really wondering how much longer to go on for. It’s been over 2 years and 30+ cycles, and I’m 41. FP due any minute and I’m fucking sick of it. Gah.

Good to hear it’s all going well @si1ver

Gah! on your behalf @spark Damn TTC

@Booksandbaths1 That's odd, most things I've read seem to suggest that ruling out tubal issues and checking uterus lining is done before treatment.

Seems bonkers to fork out ivf money if actually there's a cause which could be fixed. Have they offered other uterus based investigations - is that why?

If you're private you can have whatever you want if you pay, and can 'shop around' at different clinics.

Thanks @rubberduckies Yes it does seem weird. I think we're going to pay for another private consultation just to get a 2nd opinion/ask for a hycosy. Part of me really wants a proper reason for our struggles too.

On another note... self pitying rant alert! I went out for dinner with 2 new lovely friends last night. One has a child already & the other dropped the baby bomb. Cue long discussions about pregnancy, maternity clothes and babies 😣 I played along but inside I was just so so sad. Came home and cried.. ha not what DH wanted after the footie. I'm just so fecked off with it all. She 'tried' for 1 month! FP due imminently so feeling extra emotional. We really got it all lined up this month with those freaking expensive stupid smiley face tests, supplements etc and I know it'll be for nowt. Ugh just feeling so worn down by it all today.

@sparks big hugs. I totally understand that feeling. 💐

So.. i dreamt of positive pregnancy tests last night.. and woke up to FP style cramps this morning... So im thinking she will raise her ugly head at some point today. :(

Hi

I have lurked on the other many threads for so long then lost them i cant remember if i posted so will delurk to introduce myself .

Herewegoagain18
Age 32
Ttc#1
Cycle#lost count
One early miscarriage at 5+1
One round of ivf, failed no eggs frozen

I had made the difficult transition over to the infertility boards as reffered for fertility treatment and felt i was too pessimistic for this board. Back in conception now as OH does not want to do any further fertility treatments so back to ttc again naturally. GAH!

Not sure where i fit really ,floating adrift.
I know i am long past the "have you tried this" and optimism of people. If i hear it will happen when you least expect one more time i might just scream and chew my hand off.

I didnt want to bring this board down which is why i made the jump. I rememberd this thread though and the theme not to offer "helpful advice" no matter how well intended. So hopefuly i fit in.

I have good friends and family around me that i love dearly. But who also all have children and have not had infertility /tt
struggles so just dont get it.

There are a few that HAVE had struggles which have been pretty profound so i feel im not in a position to complain and count my lucky stars really.

One family member was in exactly the same boat as me. We were each others outlet. I have just found out there round of ivf worked.

I am beyond happy for them and want nothing more for them to get their happy ending. I know how awful this all is.

However now I am offically the last one in the family and of my friends anyone that registers on my radar of importance without a child. I just feel left behind.

I am also really sad though as selfishly i feel like i have lost my confidant now. I just feel like im floating in limbo with no one to talk to who gets it in real life either because they havnt been through it or i dont want to upset them or them feel bad.

That was long (and hopefully not to depressing!) so will leave it there for now.

Xxx

@herewego Welcome! I'm sure you will find some comfort here. It can't take away the pain, sadness and utter shitness of it all but in the relatively short time I've been on this thread I've found solace and support in knowing I'm not alone in going through this journey. Plus having somewhere to rant that isnt at DP is so helpful. There's no judgement or advice unless requested - they're a just a lovely, yamtastic bunch of ladies. I'm sorry you're going through this and hopefully this thread will help you a little x

Hi Booksandbaths1

Thankyou for the welcome and kind reply

Thats really good to know. OH isnt one to sit down and talk anyway so no chance of ranting to him. I think a even a saint would get fed up of hearing it anyway.

I Noticed your earlier posts regarding hyscopy i had a very similar conversation in the consultation for my ivf refferal. Thats actually the only test that has not been done a hyscopy feel free to ask if you wanted further details .

I meant to say in first post i hope as well as finding solice i can be of some help (for those that ask ,of course) with the process of moving onto fertility treatment. If i have the advantage of finding out first hand (not sure if good or bad thing!)the least i can do do is pass the experience on again only if asked .

Thanks again for the the welcome and kind reply Booksandbaths1 xx

Hi ladies I hope you don't mind my comment but would love some advice, been ttc since the start of the year..
I took a 6 day early pregnancy test yesterday and it came up with a faint line so i got all excited and bought the clear blue digital test and took it just now. It came up with not pregnant. I'm due on on Sunday, why's this happened to me?