The Good, The Bad and The Yams!

[LookingAtTheStars89]

CALLING ALL YAMMER'S!

Yammer rules:

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement. Please read the rules before posting!

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

NEW RULE ALERT!

-Thou shalt not post pictures of positive pregnancy tests. We will be delighted to hear about it but no photos, please and thank you

@Hopeislost yeah I'm in two minds about what I want to do work wise so I'm looking and applying anyway!

Well done on the new jobs yammers! And good luck for those applying. I’m on day 4 of my new one and I’m still excited about the change. I’m not pinning all my hopes on the new job getting me pg but the reduced stress and loathing can’t do any harm for TTC!

@LexieJean oooh what are you doing without giving away your identity? I am a Pa and it's all I've ever done so I don't know what else to do....office work is always the same anyway!

Well @owl I’ve made a Small change, I work in the interiors industry and I’ve moved to a bigger company- room for growth and more opportunity hopefully! So it’s not a total change, I didn’t need to retrain or anything. Not sure what to suggest for you- PAs are great everywhere so find a company/brand you love?

Wow I'm so impressed at everyone being so proactive and getting new jobs, contemplating change. Go ladies! I definitely agree that it's best to go for what you want work wise and sod the ttc issues surrounding it if poss. I'm currently unemployed but being paid my notice period and some redundancy. Doctors recommend ivf if we've had no luck in the next 6 months (well now 5). I'm wondering if we should get ivf booked in to do it before I start a new job but it's a scary thought. Especially as my low amh and high fsh suggests I won't respond well so I'm really hoping for a natural miracle. Maybe I need to get on the yams 😆

Well @books if the yams don’t work for you I’d say give the ivf a go whilst not working- it will avoid awkward time off requests etc

I've had my first proper baby bomb. I'm trying to style it out. I feel incredibly sad and rather doomed. As for most other bombs, someone who hasn't been trying long, but they are mid 30's and I love them very much so am very pleased for them. What does one do, keep busy and ignore the feelings of sadness? I feel like I'm attracting negative energy right now, in reality of course positive thoughts should attract good things and bad thoughts shit things, but I am so veering into that territory now. I think I might read the law of attraction again later just in case!

Agree re lovely to hear of people pushing on and changing roles if they aren't happy. I moved roles a few months ago, work life balance is much better but obviously no luck TTC yet. I am a chartered accountant (I work in industry not practice) and am doing a stint in project management at the moment. I say a stint, it's perm role but I plan to go elsewhere within 2-3 years I think so that I don't end up too out of touch regarding the area I like most.

*should NOT, darn it

Hey @orca Baby bombs are so difficult to deal with, it’s such a mess of emotions. I think I’ve found it even harder when it’s been a really close friend over a work colleague etc. I guess because of the happiness for them mixed in with the despair? Either way, it’s friday so pour yourself a big glass of something and allow yourself a small time to be sad. It’s ok to be a bit sad- I get you don’t want to fall into a negative spiral but I don’t think it’s wise to repress or pretend you don’t feel sad for a bit. Sending you a yammer hug! 💐

I caved and poas. BFN but not surprised really. Had two glasses of wine as a consolation prize ☹️

@OrcinusOrca awww they aren't easy and I've found that it literally depends on what day of the month and therefore hormones as to how I react!

Af hit me Thursday ladies so now I'm onto cycle 20....literally never thought I'd be here. I opened up to a friend of mine who has been ttc a while and she didn't know I was ttc so we had a good chat and I feel much better. She's starting IVF this year so I'm made over for her. Makes me feel like I'm not so alone in "real life"

I too poured myself a large wine last night I needed it! Dp gave me a reality check in the week as I've been so doom and gloom with work and ttc it has put a strain on him and that is not something I want at all! So I'm going into this month more positive than ever and if it happens it happens.....lets see when I get to day 26 haha!!

Also starting yoga next week never done it before but I so need some me time

What's everyone's plans this weekend? I'm off shopping and seeing a friend today can't wait x

Ps sorry for long post!

Sorry about the bfn @fairy

@owl how amazing to have someone to talk to IRL! That must be great to be able to share face to face, well done for opening up. Your positive attitude so far sounds good- best of luck holding onto that throughout the month! 😊 I had a similar kind of thing with my OH as I was just soooooo miserable I lost sight of everything except TTC and i am really trying to be other stuff too. I also poured a nice big glass of vino last night- in the 2ww but drink til it’s pink! ignoring thoughts of ‘will it ever be pink?’ positivity

Thanks @LexieJean

@Owlpatrol I recently taken up yoga too and it's great! Really helps clear you mind and refresh yourself 😊 At cycle18 I'm just starting to accept that a natural pregnancy is unlikely for us now and so I've just got to focus on the next steps, whether that's IVF, IUI or even adoption

(Or we just decide to get more dogs 😉)

@LexieJean love that!

@FairyAnn ooh yes I'll report back regarding the yoga! I've also been accepting that going private for ivf or even adoption might be a thing but I have two dogs mmmm puppies....😂

😂 @fairy and @owl I’m not a dog person, will have to stick to ivf and adoption options!
And I do yoga too- really good for relaxing the mind. And I’d recommend acupuncture - it’s expensive but I really think she has massively helped my mind/attitude.

@orca I totally agree with LexieJean that allowing a bit of sadness after a baby bomb is sometimes a good idea. Don't shut yourself off to your feelings. We are human and it's expected to feel a mix of emotions when going through this journey. I've had a lot of difficulty dealing with a close friend's baby bomb... I'm still working out how to deal with it tbh.
@Fairyann sorry about the bfn. Hope the wine went down a treat though.
@owlpatrol So pleased for you that you were able to open up to a friend and it sounds like you can be a great support for each other. I truly think just knowing you're not alone in going through this stage is very comforting. I've got a few friends who are really supportive, though a few have said some really unhelpful things... eg.'I'm so glad it happened for me first time, it would drive me crazy to keep trying month after month' ha ha gotta laugh 🙄 (at the time I didn't).
I'm also a big yoga fan. I've stopped recently as so busy but want to get back to it.

@Booksandbaths1 yeah I could do with loosing a few pounds as well so I'm hoping that yoga has a few benefits!

Is everyone enjoying the sun today?

I'm on cycle day 4 I think so it's a comfy clothes kind of day for me and some sun bathing and perhaps a cheeky gin later

Seems to be a job-themed month. I’ve recently turned down a promotion as the new job would be a huge increase on stress levels, and didn’t want anything else getting in our way. Everyone thinks I’m mad. It’s tricky to explain my decision, when we’ve not told anyone we’ve been trying and struggling to start a family. It better blooming happen soon!!

I have indeed @owlpatrol, been looking at the beautiful sun out the windows while I game on the sofa 😁 I'm such a nerd! Plus I've had a poorly dog today so we stayed inside in the cool.

Also had a baby bomb today, younger relative who already has one. So happy for her but it stings a bit

@FairyAnn... fellow nerd here!!! What are you playing at the moment? Ive got back into fallout 4.

Just finished a replay of Fable 2 and started in Fable 3 again 😊 Nice distractions. Never played Fallout but I like Bethesda and played the Elder Scrolls games. Looking forward to the next one

Much love to those dealing with baby bombs.

My mum accidentally let slip at the weekend that my brother has had the snip. I was so relieved that I won't be getting any more baby bombs from them. Their two children are adorable but it's heartbreaking spending time with them and thinking I may never have my own.

@FairyAnn.. ah i love Fable 2. Can't really remember Fable 3.. not sure if i played it or not.

The only problem with these sort of games though is how much time i can "waste" on them. Haha nice distraction though to be fair.

Sorry about all the baby bombs! This is the one reason i dont look at Facebook like i used to.

@hope that feeling of love and sorrow with family’s children is super tough.

Cd25 for me, had a bit of an upset tummy today so don’t know what kind of cramps I had. Last couple of cycles have been 26days. I think this is just a longer cycle, got my usual pre FP spots 🙄 I might have reached 30 cycles now. I might have surpassed that to be honest because I stopped counting early this year at 20something- too depressing.

Definitely @Pinkemi, I can easily lose a day on a good one