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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Any older ladies? I'm 46 and really want another baby, too old?

110 replies

LavendarLove · 26/05/2018 18:20

So I thought my childbearing days were over, I'm 46 have 3 children the youngest is 5, recently I have been really yearning for another baby but have to be realistic I'm getting on! Really interested in any success stories, all I read is soon and gloom x

OP posts:

littlemimosa · 26/05/2018 21:14

Lol fonteyn

littlemimosa · 26/05/2018 21:16

My point is: age is just a number ‘FFS’

Tansytaylor · 26/05/2018 21:17

Well seeing as you ask .. I'm 46 and I think it's too old. However I'm not you so crack on if it's what takes your fancy

danTDM · 26/05/2018 21:17

No, it is not. Read what people have said.

Ninchninch · 26/05/2018 21:20

Does the yoga teacher have teenagers at home to annoy her? Because that is OPs reality at 60.
Sounds like yoga teacher has a more quiet home life!
I do agree that people feel differently at the same age. I was surprised to find out a mum friend was intact 42 and not 32!

Bellabutterfly2016 · 26/05/2018 21:45

I'm 38 and pregnant with dc2 but when I was pregnant with dd now 3, I met a lady who was 42 then and having her first child.

I met her at a consultants clinic at my local Hospital for high risk pregnancies and older Mums etc..... and we became really good friends.

She's an amazing mum and now she's 45 is expecting again same as me!!

I'm waiting for a dating scan as I'm not sure whether a late period much lighter than usual was late period or implantation bleed but we might be in together again!

Yes there's risks but if you're in a strong relationship or even an amazing single mum and in good health then op I wish you all the very best of luck.

There's a certain amount of risks for some people who are a lot younger aswell - I guess it's a very personal decision.

I'm a bit worried at 38 as I'm already one of the "older mums" at various groups - it's a tough call x

BlueEyedBengal · 26/05/2018 22:12

I had my youngest at 44 ( number 6) I just relaxed didn't worry about it and got an fertility calendar and had 4 boys between 37 and 44 years old total mayhem but I love it . Just relax and see if it happens and eat a good diet with plenty of protein and vitamins. I wish you well.

KellyMarieTunstall2 · 26/05/2018 22:15

I've just had my 3rd and I'm 45. Very happy with the decision, although I plan to avoid the menopause with hrt!

SleepFreeZone · 26/05/2018 22:26

Unfortunately you are unlikely to fall pregnant at 46 and if you do you are very unlikely to carry a healthy baby to term. Those are just the facts. There are always exceptions and that might be you, but most of us past 40 will really struggle.

My history is fell pregnant easily at 37 and had no son with no issues. Then had three miscarriages, two early abd unexplained, one died just before my 12 week scan, they tested the tissue and the baby had DS. Then I was EXTREMELY lucky to fall pregnant with DS2 at 40 and gave birth to him just before my 41st birthday. Then we tried again and caught when I was 42, unfortunately the baby had Edwards Syndrome and I had to terminate the pregnancy at 17 weeks as she was very ill. We have since tried to conceive again but no luck whatsoever and I’m now 43.

I do know one woman at school who had her last child at 44 and he is healthy. She gives me a bit of hope but after 42 the stats are really really awful.

Pibplob · 26/05/2018 22:32

Im39 and I couldn’t do it now let alone in 7 years time. My friend is pregnant with her 4th and I’m amazed she wanted another at our age. She did try for a while before falling pregnant and is finding out the sex next week. She will be 43 when youngest starts school. My three will be 15, 14 and 11. Madness to me but if it’s what you want, it’s what you want.

Original poster

LavendarLove · 26/05/2018 22:40

Thanks everyone I really appreciate hearing everyone's views and perspective! Definitely something to think about x

OP posts:

BlueEyedBengal · 26/05/2018 23:00

Do what is right for you. I love being a mum and my children's age are 27, 25, 10, 9, 7,and my lovely babe age 5. All healthy and born a good weight and labour was trouble free. The only one that was trouble was my oldest, I had an e s c at 2 weeks over, he was only 5lb and hadn't moved all day and we were luck he came on great as he grew. I was 21 yrs old. It's an personal thing if you want another and you are well enough do what you want. I have no regrets, what I am saying problems can happen at any age but mine were when I was young. I had all mine naturally no ivf .

Dragongirl10 · 26/05/2018 23:02

Op will your potential child really want a mum who will be nearly 60 when they are 13?

I felt like l could easily bring up another child at 40 and 45, now at 48 things have changed so much.........
even with HRT energy drops off a cliff for most and a host of other symptoms start.......no one can truly outrun age.

I couldn't honestly be a fraction of the mum l was to my Dcs now if l had a newborn as l simply don't have the same energy.

Its all very well in early 40s being so optomistic but add 20 yrs....will you still be relevant, healthy and capable...maybe, maybe not.

didsomeonesaybunny · 26/05/2018 23:08

I think you need to do what’s right for you and your families situation. How old is your DH/DP? Will you both be in your 60s when your child is in their 20s? That could be quite limiting and it’s likley your child would lose his/her parents relatively young.

Do what is right for you and good luck if you decide to go ahead with it!

Original poster

LavendarLove · 26/05/2018 23:32

@didsomeonesaybunny my OH is 39 so younger than me. To put it into perspective abput losing parents at s young age my friend died if cancer last year age 36 she left a 13 and 11 year old behind l, my gran is still alive aged 96 😄

OP posts:

keyboardkate · 26/05/2018 23:34

Why do you want another child right now?

Tell the truth!

If it were me with a five year old I would be sitting back and waiting for the day 5yr old is independent and I could go off on mad holidays and live a little of the madness that we all have inside us.

That is just my opinion OP, but if you didn't have doubts you would not have asked!

Best of luck, but do think it through realistically and consider your family and yourself in all this first.

frasier · 26/05/2018 23:39

It's interesting what you say about the longevity in your family OP.

My DH's grandparents all died in their 60s or before, SIL and MIL went through menopause at 42 and had their children straight from school.

My family live long long lives, menopause is mid to late 50s, my grandmother was still having children in her late 40s.

I think it's all to do with the individual.

Original poster

LavendarLove · 26/05/2018 23:48

@keyboardkate yes ofcourse there are doubts just because of the risk factor, i am very maternal, love kids, have a happy loving family life, love being with my children as they grow up, not interested in the mad holiday thing, still have a good social life when I want and have a secure loving family network, it's just the associated risks that can happen so was looking for any success stories 🙂

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 26/05/2018 23:53

I'd be too afraid of the risks of disability, tbh. I'd quit whilst you're ahead.

keyboardkate · 26/05/2018 23:56

@LavendarLove

I hope you don't think I was criticising you in any way. I wasn't.

I suppose there are risks, but that is all it is..... a risk, not a certainty.

Hope someone comes along to give you some success stories.

AndromedaPerseus · 26/05/2018 23:59

Agree with expat i wouldn’t take the risk at 46 Just enjoy being mum to the 3 healthy children you’ve already got

BakedBeans47 · 27/05/2018 00:00

I’m 45 and it would be too old for me, but if it’s not for you then go for it

Original poster

LavendarLove · 27/05/2018 00:00

@keyboardkate not at all, I need to hear all perspectives after all if I wasn't doubtful I would just go for it but it's such a huge life changing thing I don't want to make a wrong choice, life is way too short 😄

OP posts:

SleightOfMind · 27/05/2018 00:06

Haven’t RTFT so this may already have been raised. You’re much more likely to have multiples with later babies.
Our surprise 3rd (I was 45) was twins and it’s v common as you’re literally spraying out all those last ditch eggs

OTOH. If you can afford the time and effort (toddlers and teenagers were fun )
Then let the dice fly high.

Original poster

LavendarLove · 27/05/2018 00:10

@SleightOfmind that's brilliant twins bet that was a suprise! How do you feel now? Did you have any complications? 🙂

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