TTC after stillbirth

[toots123]

Just wondering if anyone else is ttc after a stillbirth and wanted to join me on this very daunting journey?

Hi @39Suzy just trying to take it day by day at the moment. I have my 6 wk scan on Friday week. Hoping that we make it that far. I don't feel very pregnant at the moment, but realistically I am 4+5 so I don't know what symptoms I think I should have!!
We are on our way to London to see the consultant about my uterine septum. Nothing that can be done for this pregnancy, it will either be in a good place or it won't, but I need to have a plan in place if it does fail.
I persuaded my GP to do hcg bloods for me to try and get me through this week. Had the first lot yesterday and then second lot will be done tomorrow. Fingers crossed for a nice doubling of numbers.
How are you? You sound like you are maybe getting to what I kind of call the plateau. Like you can exist most days without all the pain constantly weighing you down, but the slightest thing can rock you out of the plateau. (Like super pregnant people in Tesco's). What is it with Tesco's btw? Is it where all pregnant people go to spend their time or what?? I feel like I am hounded by them.

🤞 for you @miami81 that the scan will find that everything is as it should be. Did you say that they had planned not to operate in the end?
I think plateau is a good word.... i haven't woken up one morning with a new outlook but a few giant leaps over the last few weeks and i have found myself here. Long may it continue x

Sending you lots of love @mrslcw and hope Penny is looking out for you x

Thanks @39Suzy so all our consultants in Scotland are saying not to operate. But the guy in London specialises in this, so I really want his opinion. The Scottish docs are worried about future ruptures (properly life threatening for me and a baby) due to the particular shape of my outside contour of my uterus. And also I think that they are a bit convinced that it has nothing to do with the two earlier miscarriages. Anyway we shall see what he has to say for himself.

Hope you get the answers you need @miami81 😚I

Fingers crossed for you @Miami81 x

@bumbers you have been quiet for a few days, how are you doing today?

Everything croseed for you @miami81

Nothing much happening here, about 7dpo so trying not to symptom spot but failing.

I've set up a private fb group and I would love if you would all join me on it. If you would like to be added please DM your details x

Hey @39suzy I'm doing ok. We were away for a long weekend seeing friends and family. Even had a really good chat with FIL about everything (they went through what we are going through a lot, but this is the first time we have ever spoken about it). Trying to not think about TTC as is still hard thinking about it and i can't do anything about it yet.

I am still lurking and keeping all my fingers crossed for everyone though!!

@Miami81 Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞🏼

@39Suzy Thank you. Still nothing happening here but I guess it's still early days. I just feel so in limbo. Never wished for a period this much in my life! I'm so glad you're feeling a little better - I hope things continue to feel more "level". I'm starting to do a little bit of work (I work for myself) in the hope I can be properly back by September. It's helping a lot personally to have something else to focus on even for a little while. I hope your phased return goes well in a few weeks.

@LilacIris I'm really pleased about your DH. It must be such a relief to be back on the same page. Fingers crossed for you too 🤞🏼

Sorry I'm a bit rubbish at keeping up. I think an FB group is a great idea @toots123 and I promise to be better at keeping up over there.

Take care all - hope today is a good day.

I'm the same @nutellaoffthespoon so that's why there's now a group! lovely to have you there, hope others will join us x

Hey @bumbers that is so nice your FIL has been able to talk to you. My mum has been with me for a week and definitely helps having family time. Your TTC time will come again.

@toots123 🤞 for you! And i have DMd you x

@nutellaoffthespoon ithink i am ready to start thinking about work but time will tell. Be gentle on yourself during your transition!

@toots123 I have tried to DM you my details... have never used DM before though so let me know if it hasn't worked!

Thanks lovely. You're all sorted now

How is everyone?

AF arrived so I have bought loads of opks and tests for this cycle.

Sorry AF arrived @lilacIris. But good work with the opks! Fingers crossed for this cycle.

I just want to stop bleeding after SMM. Been 2.5 weeks and just doesn't quite stop although I keep thinking it has. grr.

Hi @lilaciris best of luck to you!

@bumbers i am sure it will stop soon, i think stopping and starting is normal towards the end.

I am doing OK had a busy weekend away with my two sisters and 3 nieces and nephews who were highly excitable! They know my baby has 'gone to heaven' and was braced for questions but it was only the three year old that did which was 'Are you a Mammy?'.... bless her! She knew baby was in the sky so wasnt sure who was being his mammy now if i am here. I just had to laugh!!! My sister was mortified!
I am now in my fertile window although missed out over the weekend. I conceived last time on CD11 (which is today) so hopefully have started DTD early enough.

Thanks for setting up the FB group @toots123 it is great to put names to faces x

Hi everyone. @LilacIris hope you’re ok after AF starting, good that you’re all sorted for the coming cycle with your pee sticks, good to be prepared! @Bumbers, sorry you’re still bleeding, hopefully it stops soon, it’s just another thing to worry about after a rubbish time. Hope you're taking care of yourself. @39Suzy good you had a nice weekend with family, you took the Q from your niece v well I think. Fielding those kind of questions can sometimes floor you. @nutellaoffthespoon Hope things settle down for you soon. @toots123 you must be at the end of your 2ww now, best of luck! @miami81 hope your consultation goes well for you.

I’ve had a bit of an up and down week. I tested positive last week, faint line (but definitely a line) on a frer, was so so delighted, then AF appeared with a vengeance yesterday which was a bit of a blow. It’s now a year since we’ve been trying for another baby and I’m feeling a bit shit about the whole thing, honestly feeling a bit sorry for myself. A stillbirth and 2 MMCs (I’m not counting this last chemical – was it even a chemical?) are in general rubbish stats and nobody in RL really gets it. I know I shouldn’t feel like this but I do. I’ve had the chin up for years, I need a prop for it to stay up now! At least I can enjoy a few glasses of wine this weekend, DH and I are going away for a few nights sans DC which will be nice.

For the fb group, are you all transferring there? I’m not on fb but if you have time to continue to update here I would like that a lot. x

Sorry to hear your news @partyinthekitchen i had a chemical in September last year (BFP followed by bleeding a week later). I know it doesnt help but it is natures' way of weeding out those conceptions that arent viable. I was pregnant less than 8 weeks later so make good use of your super-fertile time.

I will still update here😁

Hope you have a lovely weekend away and if you ever need to chat, DM me xxx

Oh @PartyintheKitchen what an awful year you have had. Your chemical miscarriage absolutely counts. Sending you lots of love and I hope you get a bfp that becomes a healthy baby very soon.

@partyinthekitchen I am so sorry. it is def a chemical and counts. I am so sorry. It is utterly unfair and not something anyone should have to go through. I am crossing all my fingers that you soon get the right pregnancy.

Today I have been feeling totally and unfairly angry/jealous of the million of pregnant women who seem to be everywhere. It just feels unfair, even though I know that is not fair to them. Esp a pregnant lady in my gym. She doesn't know about the twins etc and came in to one of my first classes after I started trying to work out again after the twins just as she announced her pregnancy. It hurt so much and she obviously wants me to be all gushing and happy about it, but I can't, esp after mmc. So just been polite but generally ignoring her. Not my finest moments, but I think you sometimes have to just do what you can.

Thanks ladies for your lovely responses . It was even cathartic to write it down and have strangers on the internet respond so nicely, I'm already feeling better. I'm going to stock up on more pee sticks, it always helps to feel prepared for the month ahead. Thank you! Agree @39Suzy that it's nature's way, I also 100% prefer it that way - compared to later.

@Bumbers, do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, even if it means being a wee bit rude to a friend for a few months. You've just been through the mill, you don't owe anyone happy-clappy-smiley reactions ok. That's a fact.

I left facebook when I lost one of my twins. A v close relative had twins a month after us and plastered pics of them and their little babies all over fb, zero consideration for our broken hearts - it felt like salt in the wound. I decided to close my account as I needed to protect myself. Any little thing that helps keep your sanity - do it.

Take care ladies x

Just to add to my moaning, I am on a work trip (3 days woth no alone time) and have been warned by my boss that one of the ladies here with me is about to announce her pregnancy...Twin pregnancy. Twins! Been practicing my happy face. (obvs I am so happy for her, but it is still hard)

@Bumbers - oh Gawd! That's just crap. Sending you a big hug. Stick with others if you can. Good on your boss giving you the heads up. Keep us updated x

Wine has helped me raise it with her and be all positive and happy for her. Glad that the issue has been raised - hopefully makes the next 2 days go ok.

Oh @Bumbers
Good on your boss for giving you a heads up. I find myself constantly on edge around some people waiting for them to tell me they are pregnant.
I had a nightmare last night that I started bleeding a lot with clots etc. Have hypnotherapy later on, hoping she can reprogramme me a small bit.