TTC first baby cycle one! Anyone else out there?

[rosesandponies]

So.... first baby 🤞🏼🙏🏽🤞🏼🙏🏽 Meant to be ovulating tomorrow. Main challenge atm is keeping things fun with the husband and not making him feel like a baby making machine 😂 How’s it going for other hopeful first time mummy’s?

So sorry to hear this @Delilah7. Hope you’re being looked after xx

Sorry didn’t see @proseccobee comment or your reply @delilah7. Glad you’re being looked after and hope you’re ok x

Thank you ladies xx

My boyfriend just sat me down and said he doesn’t feel ready to have a baby. We’ve been talking about it for 2 years and compromised on this time now because he wasn’t ready. Now he’s moved the goal posts again saying we need a mortgage and more money in the bank.
I’m so bewildered and upset. I knew in my gut this would happen and I’m so angry I didn’t listen to myself. Now I don’t even know what to say or how to act and he’s getting upset saying he loves me etc and why am I reacting like this :s :(

We’ve been together 5 years and are almost 30. I feel so confused why were on such a different page

Sorry now I feel bad for bringing this crap after what Delilah has gone through and I didn’t even know how to delete these bloody posts!!

@Delilah7 oh no hon 😞 I actually teared up reading your messages - I feel really invested watching your TTC these past few weeks and I'm so SO sorry. Know it's just words but truly I am. I'm glad you have people there for you. I can't imagine what it must feel like for you rn

@Summerbab I think that you have every right to be angry with him, sorry your going through this. I've said this before on this thread when I gave advice - I don't know you both personally so if what I'm about to say is rubbish/obvious/not applicable to you please just ignore me! 😂
If it was my other half I would as calmly as possible explain how it's made me feel. Your BF probably doesn't realise how deeply it has affected you; sometimes men (and women too sometimes 😊) can be a bit 'one thought at a time' - he's got this mortgage bee in his bonnet rn, perhaps it's been building for a while, and he has zoned in on that so much that he doesn't see how "not ready for a baby right now after all, sorry" could come across as flippant and cruel.
Perhaps to move things on you can try and make a £££ plan with him. How much money in the bank would make him feel secure? Is his goal realistic? How long until he sees the house, family etc. happening? Reassure him that you will support him in getting your financial security as a family and take it super seriously (even though it's 2018 I think that men still believe that this is their burden to shoulder and the thought of a child to pay for massively freaks them out.) Demonstrate how you can balance the books on your current incomes. Also tell him that you trust him

@Summerbab oops it posted too early. Say that you trust him and hope that he trusts you with this money business? Anyway that was a long post.
Hopefully it's just a temporary freak out 🤞🏼

@rosesandponies thank you darling. It's pretty hard right now but I know it'll get easier. Just giving myself time.

@Summerbab don't you worry hun you post whatever you like. You have every right to feel how you do. Xxx

@delilah7 thank you that’s so lovely of you and I’m sorry for bombarding this post in my emotional fit last night 🙄

@rosesandponies thank you that’s really good advice. Even though you don’t know us I think you’ve hit the nail on the head 😂 he said he didn’t realise how upset I would be and that if I was pregnant now he wouldn’t be freaked out. Honestly the most confusing thing ever. We’re gonna talk about it later :s

@Delilah7 - I hope you're ok - thinking of you. X

@Summerbab - I think men do have these wobbles, my DH had his moment, I had my moment too! I think what roses said is spot on and very sensible. I would be completely honest with him and explain that it is really going to upset you to delay again.
What helped with my DH is the fact that we both want a biggish family and unless we started soon that would be more difficult and we would end up being older parents, which neither of us want.

Thanks ladies xx

I would like to share a positive thing about my Friday - i have FINALLY got a definite, strong positive on my OPK! I am so happy, I had started to worry that I never got a positive last month and none this month either until today, 9 days of testing later it appears on cd17! I'm really pleased as I thought maybe I wasnt even ovulating due to my PCOS. I know bbt is the only way to check it actually happened, but I am still so relieved.

I'm even more pleased that we had sex last night, so timed it perfectly, and my husband actually asked me about the ovulation tests (he'd seen the packets in the bin) and didn't seem phased by me doing them.

So I sent him a photo of my positive test today and said let's make a baby tonight and he didn't seem put off by it at all! I'm hoping this is the start of him getting a bit more on board with timing sex.

We are going to meet 2 friends babies this weekend (2 newborns within the last 1 week) which will hopefully get him as broody as I am.
I'm feeling quite happy now. I had already started convincing myself I'm infertile!! Crazy as it sounds. I hope you all have a good weekend and see you in the 2ww :-)

@Crossfitgirl - hurrah for the positive opk!!
It's such a good feeling when it is positive isn't it. I had a very strong one this morning on an IC but still flashing smiley on Clear blue (not static) so not sure where I am, not sure if the IC was strong enough to count as positive. Either way we just had sex and I even resorted to legs in the air which I am sure does bugger all!
That is great your DH is on board with it all and so supportive!
While I was legs in the air DH said 'I like how crazy we are about this!' Which makes me feel happy that he is fully on board as he hasn't always been!

@flapjackered yeah it is! I was elated! The line was way darker than the control and I was so shocked, I was dancing around in the cubicle! Haha. We DTD yesterday and again tonight, but DH is away now for the weekend so fx that's enough.

I'm glad your DH is liking the craziness! I've heard a lot of people say laying down, tilting your hips, legs in air etc etc helps, I did Google it and being in the nhs was keen to know the evidence, of which there is none. But it totally makes sense that the sperm have to travel up, and gravity by default should help with this if you're laid flat or tilted!

On the same note, this may be TMI but I always need to pee and/or get rid of the excess after sex, I normally get up and go straight to the bathroom and a lot comes out... so I have been trying to lay down for a bit even just for 5 mins before I go pee and some still inevitably always comes out! Do other people have the same? I'm sure someone on here said they don't go to the bathroom after sex at all anymore - to keep it all in! I don't think I could do that... I'm certain it'd all plop out anyway in the night!! 😂😂

@flapjackered that’s reassuring to know he’s not the only one having a freak out haha. We talked about it last night and put a savings plan together so he feels better now. And I said I’m not going back on the pill do month on month when I’m fertile if we want a month off then condoms it is 🤷🏼‍♀️ But he reassured me he’d be happy if it happens so I think he genuinely just panicked that we don’t have any money behind us.

@crossfitgirl so good you got a positive opk! I always go to the loo after as well otherwise 9/10 I’ll get cystitis but it breaks me that it all goes down the loo haha. So now I stay laid down for ten mins and do some hip raises to give it some help. Although when I told my mum she laughed and said it comes out at like 30mph so it’s not necessary - every little helps though right? 😂

This is r&p my username is different.
I always feel that too much comes out 😂 I lie still as long as I can with a pillow under my hips and (major TMI) I also encourage him to stay inside as long as possible and exit carefully 😂

@Crossfitgirl @Summerbab
I've massively suffered from cystitis/UTI if I don't go to the toilet straight after. Now we're TTC I lay for about 10/15 mins chatting to DP with my legs against the wall and bum on a pillow (sometimes i do cycling motion too 🙈)
Then I go to the loo. There isn't much evidence online but as you say it makes sense re gravity and reading online anecdotally it does seem to help. I figure it can't do any harm 🤷‍♀️

@summerbab sorry I completely missed your earlier post, I don't known how! I'm glad your OH is ok with it, I think flapjackered is right they all have their wobbles, mine had his about stress and work and we had to have another chat about whether he was ready, they really do get tunnel vision sometimes and don't realise just how big a deal this is for us - and how much words like that can devastate us. They care just as much as we do but men need reassuring too I guess. I'm so glad you've come up with a plan :-) it's so much more heartbreaking having a disagreement at this stage in a relationship - not long ago I was in a similar position and I had to think about whether dh was even right for me, then panicked at the thought of having to waste another few fertile years dating and getting to the same stage with someone else! It really feels awful so I'm so happy you're sorted now.

@rosesanddamsons
@themagictorch
I'm glad it's not just me! I did that very thing and didn't move for about 5 mins with him still inside haha well if anything is gonna stop it coming out, it's the thing that put it in there! 😂😂

@crossfitgirl thank you so much for your reply this has been me exactly. I told him 2 years ago if he’d have told me it’d be more like 4 years til he wanted one then I would’ve split up with him - didn’t go down well to say the least but it’s true haha.

Has anyone had a shorter period than normal and know what it could mean? I took a test two days before AF was due and it was negative, AF then came a day early with no cramping and I’ve only bled light for two days. Very confusing

@magictorch Hahahaha that’s really tickled me. The lengths we go to a. Now I know where those old wives tales of ‘you can’t get preg from sex standing up’ comes from haha

@Summerbab - have you come off the pill fairly recently? As it could be that you haven't built up a lot of lining so there is less to shed.
I have short light periods normally 1 day normal flow then light second day then spotting for 3 days after. I asked other people on a thread about it and it seems a lot of people have short light periods and it's nothing to worry about unless it's literally just spotting, in which case could be implantation bleeding?
That's great that you managed to talk it out with your DH and you're on a similar page now. I am sure he will be over the moon when you do get pregnant!

I have now had 6 days of flashing smileys! Really hankering for my static smiley as always worried my cycles are going to go long again.
We are trying to do smep this month but today's a sex day and it's so hot 🔥 ! DH does not do well in the heat so I think it might not happen.

@flapjackered I came off the pill mid June so I’ve already had a ‘proper period’ that was heavy and lasted 5 days. It’s spotting now though just a lot of CM with a bit of brown.. maybe I’ll wait a few days then test again. How ironic if I am pregs after all that hoo har last weekend haha.
Fingers crossed you get that smiley soon and the weathers going to cool down again after tomoz so you should be back in the game haha x

This is r&p I thought I had changed name properly last time bit apparently not 😂 I'm not the greatest with tech!
@Delilah7 how's it going lovely haven't heard from you for a little while since your sad news? Hope you're OK
@Summerbab glad that you had another chat and well done for getting 'tough' with him, it's not fair to say one thing then spin around so I'm happy that he's back on board and that you've made a £££ plan. Also my period is still all over the place several months off the pill - my last was heavy and late, one before that very light and early 🙄