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Original poster

Anyone going for a third? Whats your age gap?

58 replies

Mamabear12 · 19/04/2018 10:27

I have two dc, 20 months apart and age 4 and 6. I have been debating to have a third since my son was 12 months. Actually, I was talking about having a third while I was pushing him out :) The midwife said she never seen that before! Lol. But after having two dc, I realised it was a lot more work then I thought. However, it has been on my mind and whenever I was ready, my husband was not. And then when he finally was, I got cold feet. And now finally he has agreed again to try, so I think we will go for it. Am I crazy? My two dc are finally at a place where they are independent and it has gotten easy. However, I am worried if I do not go for it, I will regret it later. I am 35, so now is the time if we go for it. It is on my mind every day literally for the last year.

OP posts:
Racheyg · 19/04/2018 15:26

mama are you me?
I'm feeling the same. Ds nearly 5 and 3. Can be hard work ect. I'm desperate for a 3rd. Oh not. We are getting married in October, we are then going to have a big talk to see where are heads and hearts are.

I don't think I'd not want another but the thought of life getting easier/having more money ect might sway it for me.

What changed dh mind?

lrwe · 19/04/2018 16:40

Oh yes me me me! DS1 is 5 and DS2 is 3 and I’ve just turned 35 and we’re trying for a third.

Muffin7 · 19/04/2018 16:47

Me me me! I'm a tad crazy though, I had two children in a year, my son has just turned 2 and my daughter has just turned 1 and we are going for number 3. My husband and I have always wanted a big family and always wanted them close together.

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 19/04/2018 17:27

Yep me ! I have ds 5 and dd 3 and desperate for another I wasn't overly sure until I fell pregnant and unfortunately lost that baby but it's made me determined that I will have another baby ! I'm 37 nearly 38 so don't have much time left

Fia256 · 19/04/2018 17:34

I'm pregnant with number 3 now, my two dc will be 7 and 5 when baby is here! I'm actually really looking forward to the bigger age gap this time round as they will both be in school during the day so will be nice to have that time just with baby in the day!
Definitely go for it if your thinking about it!

Anyday88 · 19/04/2018 17:35

We are! I have an almost 3 year old daughter and 1 year old daughter. We were going to wait until next year and then all of a sudden I decided I wanted to try now. Took husband a couple of weeks but he soon said yes. Sadly I have just miscarried after falling pregnant in march. We very much still want number 3 and will be trying as soon as I am up to it physically/emotionally.

Thundercatshoooo · 19/04/2018 18:21

We will be going for a 3rd, we've been trying to work out when though? We have a 9 month old and 2 year old (18 month gap), we don't want another 18 month gap that'd be a little mad. I'm 35 nearly so time isn't exactly on our side, we've said we might start trying in January, then the gap would be at least 26 months if we fell pregnant right away. Funny the thing that has got us discussing when we'll try again is buying a new car, most cars are not made to fit 3 car seats (unless they are a bus)!

Original poster
Mamabear12 · 19/04/2018 19:50

Glad to get some responses of others wanting a third :)

Rachey, I think it was when I told my DH that we won the lottery for schools, so will no longer have to pay 8.5k for her to attend his school (although he has to repeat the year - which is fine as he started reception age 3 and we wanted him to repeat the year anyway) and that future DC of ours will then get into the school for free and we won't have to pay 8.5k for each child. I even told myself if we won, I would for sure try for a third, as I was on the fence, but since we won, I took it as a sign to go for it. Then my son randomly drew a picture of me pregnant at school with a baby and said it was a girl to the teacher... I took that as another sign :)

Now, I just have to figure out my fertile days....something I have not been paying attention for 5 years! Lol. I was lucky the first two times around, so I am hoping third time will be easy to figure out.

OP posts:
lauryloo · 19/04/2018 21:26

I’d love a third. I have a 4 and a 2 year old. 2 yr old has additional needs so that’s what puts me off.

MrsBrown28 · 20/04/2018 04:53

Would absolutely love a 3rd my husband however is against it.
My way of thinking is you could regret not having tried for a third but you would never regret having a child once they was here

Original poster
Mamabear12 · 20/04/2018 10:44

MrsBrown28, many people have told me about this :) My mom included, as she wishes she had gone ahead with more children. I just hope my husband is still on board when its time to try in a few weeks!

OP posts:
Racheyg · 20/04/2018 14:48

mama I'm sure 2 weeks won't change dh mind.

mrs I wish my oh felt like that he really doesn't want a third at all. Sad

Original poster
Mamabear12 · 20/04/2018 21:48

Racheyg, I never thought my DH would be ready. It really is quite a shock. We always talked about a third, but he was never ready...hence the 4 and 6 year old. He always said in another two years. In fact, he was saying that all the way until recently. Has your partner always been adamant for two only? Or did he ever mention more? My DH always agreed for 3 and maybe a 4th, but then kept saying two more years. I always thought maybe he only wanted two, but didn't have the heart to tell me. However, maybe he just wanted to feel ready. I think also feeling ready can come and go. When we bought our house a year ago, my dh felt ready, but I suddenly was not ready.

OP posts:
Fridasfridgefreezer · 20/04/2018 22:04

17 months between first two, and there will be 3 years and 5 months between 2 and 3. I needed a larger gap this time around and wanted at least one child in school. (Eldest is September baby).

caribari72 · 20/04/2018 22:14

I had 2 DDs 20 months apart.

Having a second baby was the biggest shock ever - I was so smug and thought I had it "cracked"! ( how hard can it be???) omg - whipped right down to size!

Fast forward 2 years and I had a HUGE hormone attack I.e. felt ready for a third!

Everyone tried to talk me out of it because I'd struggled so much after dd2.

I braced myself and forged ahead, listening to my heart (and my hormones)

With DD1 aged 4 and DD2 aged just 3, along came DS!
(For me) BEST. DECISION. EVER!

If your heart and your DP are supporting you, it's right!

Oly5 · 20/04/2018 22:19

Had my third in december, my other two kids are 5&4. It’s wonderful.. crazy but wonderful. If you want another, go for it!

Hermagsjesty · 20/04/2018 22:29

We’ve just started trying for number 3! My eldest are 6 and 4. It’s been quite a rocky road to get to this point... I always wanted 3 but I fell unexpectedly pregnant when my youngest was 1 (and eldest was 3) and after much heart ache, we terminated the pregnancy. At the time, our thinking was very much that it wasn’t the right time for another baby so soon but maybe one day it would be... Afterwards, I regretted the decision. I was completely grief stricken. My DH on the other hand started to feel that maybe our family was complete with 2... We had a lot of counselling and I’d started to reconcile to the fact that my DH might never be sure about trying again... and then a couple of months ago he suggested going for it. I think he sees our kids getting older and knows he’s not ready for that time in our lives to be over (and also that the difficult phases do pass). He’s also a much calmer and more confident Dad. I’m so excited (and a bit terrified!) Hoping the larger age gaps will actually work out to be a good thing.

L1zz13 · 21/04/2018 09:11

I'm trying for #4 can I join?
My children are 17 14 and 6.
I'm turning 40 this yr.

NoseringGirl · 21/04/2018 10:37

We're about to start trying for our third baby. DS1 is 4 and DS2 is 15 months. Both took nearly 18 months to conceive so I don't imagine it'll happen quickly!

holdmybeer · 21/04/2018 10:45

We're ttc #3, ds's are 6 and 2, I'm 37 and have been desperate for another for some time but the timing has always been out.

I had a wobble this week as ds2 refused to go in the pram for the school run ds1 came out and loaded me up with all his stuff and moaned all the way to the car that he was too hot meanwhile ds2 made a run for it Blush I got back to the car and cried. What am I thinking wanting another?!!

PotteringAlong · 21/04/2018 10:50

I have 3! They’re 6, 3 and 1.

I am definitely not trying for a 4th Grin

loulalou · 21/04/2018 17:26

We're currently trying for #3, we have a 7 and 4 year old.
I've been changing my mind weather to have a third or not for around two years but since Christmas I've made the decision to go for it so we've been trying since January. Really hoping it will happen soon 🤞

MrsY87 · 21/04/2018 19:20

We are ttc #3...DD is 3.5 and DS is 7m, we've not used any contraception since DS was born and have just finished my 2nd period since stopping bf. DD was conceived 1st cycle and DS took 10 cycles and 2mc so no idea how long it will take this time! I've always wanted 3 and DH has been on the fence about it but we decided if we were going to we would just try and have no3 as close to DS as possible...fx we get that!

Schoolworrier · 21/04/2018 19:26

Me too! My DD is 4 and DS 7 months. I'm 40 this year and seriously considering ttc#3 after the summer Grin

FourForYouGlenCoco · 21/04/2018 22:52

Just popping on here to wish you all good luck! My DC3 is 10 days old, I have a 5.5yo and a 21 month old too. No regrets whatsoever - am under no illusions that it’s going to be bloody hard work, but she really has completed the family. Pregnancy was tough but she’s utterly perfect and totally worth it. Won’t lie though, I’m very glad I never have to do the pregnancy thing ever again Grin but very best of luck to all you ttc-ers Flowers