STOP! Yammer time. 🍠

[SparkwoodAnd21]

New thread!

@Owlpatrol that’s not ok, can you make a complaint, is there a patient advocate who can support you?

Yay @LimpLettice !

In other news I’ve been trying to distract myself with retail therapy and baking, after being on my to-do list I finally made these chocolate swirl buns smittenkitchen.com/2012/06/chocolate-swirl-buns/

Wish I could successfully have a different kind of bun in the oven, in the meantime everyone on my team is at increased risk of diabetes...

@BGDino. Oooh yum! They look like my kind of thing. Sometimes sit and think "I don't know how I'm a size 16" and then I see stuff like that and I'm like....oh....yeah

Hooray! I finally have a semi decent, not positive yet but a getting there line. I went to Tesco earlier and bought some regular OPKs. Those clear blue ones can go fuck themselves. All they do is stress me out!

This fell off my list somehow. Sorry so many people are having a hard time.

Starwishing I assume you had a raised FSH? This being raised can suggest a reduced egg reserve and predicts that fertility treatment is less likely to succeed but it says nothing about egg quality and as long as you are having regular periods it is possible you can conceive (good friend has been through exactly this, was geared up for donor egg ivf when conceived spontaneously after 4 years). I don’t want to give you false hope but while you may be perimenopausal you are not menopausal until your periods stop, whatever your blood tests show.

Owlpatrol I’m sorry your bloods have gone missing. I hope you have some answers soon.

As for me I’m trying not to eat all the carbs through first trimester as started out heavier than I’d like (and failing miserably!). The good news is that as of yesterday there’s still an embryo with a heartbeat measuring 8+3 which has implanted high and away from my scarring.

The bad news is that I still have a big haematoma (ongoing high miscarriage risk) and that my cervix is shortening already (should be 4cm but is only 1.5). There’s now some debate about what kind of stitch to put in; I’m pushing for the most invasive but more effective one. I know the hospital want me to try the less effective less invasive one as I haven’t had a second trimester loss or premature baby but after 3 early losses I think I need to reduce my risk as much as possible. Second opinion requested and should happen next week if I’m still pregnant.

Paranormal - I'm so sorry to hear this, I want to give you hope that with both my DC's I had a haematoma that got bigger, with PFB my levels even started dropping at one point, then just when I'd resigned myself to the worst, the nurses came to me and went omg your levels have more than doubled. They also said the sac was mishapen which on its on screams unviability.

It was a scary pregnancy with PFB all the way through, he kept us on our feet, that's for sure. I was worried as he was young that he possibly had autism due to obsessions with the weirdest things. At 2 he could have gone on mastermind, specialist subjects hoovers & mowers. He could literally name them all and had a better toy Hoover collection, possibly the best ever.

I know it's hard not to worry, I also had a chocolate cyst that was growing, I passed the haematoma at 15 weeks, bawling my eyes out at A&E got really rough treatment, as they were manic due to snow. It was that bad that both my Dad & Grandmother were there.

I just wanted to let you know miracles do happen. My moody teenager is now your typical teen.

I would say don't torture yourself by squeezing your boobs or checking CM for how much blood. Sorry TMI, but having had lots of mc I know what I did.

Ooh I think it was 8/9 weeks the pain was also really bad. At the Dr's they did a HCG test that was faint, he pretty much said, I'm so sorry, you know what this means, I'll get you in for a scan tomorrow. Again apart from the haematoma, Choc cyst, groovy sac shape, PFB's HR was fine.

Have they said anything about the HR? Have they got you on baby aspirin or clexane? Have they tested progesterone levels?

Paranormal - honestly praying for you and hoping you can get through this bumpy stage. If you have any questions, any questions at all, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks slowlywiltingpetal, I’m ok actually. I was at high miscarriage risk anyway and am just happy to see a heartbeat still there. All I can do is wait and see now. Bleeding comes and goes and I just try to ignore it.

If I get to 12 weeks we will deal with my cervix. Scary having surgery when pregnant but not much choice!

Wow Para, you sound so measured and in control. So sorry you've got all this added stress and worry

@WonkyDonk87 I’m not measured or in control at all tbh but I’m accepting that I can’t change anything and I just have to wait. And after 2 losses at 5+6 weeks and a MMC which never developed past 6 weeks I’m choosing to see this as positive!

It sounds like a nightmare @para but that heartbeat is hanging in there! I’m continuing to hope and cross everything for you 🤞

@petal sounds like you had quite an experience- I’m glad it all worked out for the best.

Sooo frustrating @owl! 🤬 when can you get in for testing again?

God Owl that’s so annoying. I mean, the NHS are incredible don’t get me wrong, but sometimes it’s like they’re not even trying.

Glad to hear things are looking good so far paranormal curious as to whether they have mentioned anything RE your scarring and pregnancy/birth. I know it’s early days but I’ve seen lots of women with untreated AS say that the scar tissue causes complications further on and they had to stay on bed rest due to placenta issues and whatnot. Although I’ve also seen a lot of people say their pregnancies and birth were totally uneventful so hopefully you’ll be the latter!

No period again today and no sign of it coming anytime soon so I guess that confirms the not ovulating again thing. I don’t understand it. Never been anovulatory before and now twice in a row. Oh well, I guess that’s just my luck, to suddenly not ovulate on my last two cycles of ttc 🙄

@Bubblegum89 I think everyone is just waiting to see if I pass first trimester! I definitely won’t have an uneventful time- will need a stitch and close monitoring. If all goes well an elective section at 37-38weeks but they seem to think it would be a miracle if cervix held out that long. My scarring seems to be relatively localised so am hoping for no placental issues. We will have to wait and see.

It’s normal to have an occasional anovulatory cycle, but I don’t think there’s clear evidence you did? Your periods were a few days late, but not very? OPKs are pretty useless. I’ve conceived on cycles where I’ve never had a positive. Could you not just have ovulated a little late?

Ah I see. I’m on an AS group on Facebook and a lot of the women on there had a cervix issue even after their treatment. Hopefully you can get the more invasive one, I think when it comes to the NHS you really do have to be your own advocate.

And well opks have always worked perfectly for me every other month over the last 18 months or so. I was 4 days late last cycle and two now currently so not super late but quite late for someone whose cycles have always been extremely regular, but I don’t think I ovulated late. This month, I got my almost positives around cd12-13 and by cd14 and 15 they were back to being light. I’m just confused I guess as after 18 months, I’d got into a pattern of ovulating on cd14 with strong positives by cd12 or 13 that started fading by cd14 and fp on cd28. Now two months on the bounce I have no positives and two late periods. I wish my body would just be normal for once!

I’ve had 2 different opinions so they will let me decide ultimately. I do understand a reluctance to do an open surgery which may be overkill but I think I’d feel better with it personally.

I hope you get your period soon (or obviously a BFP!). I’d assume you just missed the surge if they went from almost positive to negative. If you hadn’t ovulated you’d expect to skip a cycle altogether or have random bleeding at long intervals, not just a few days late if that makes sense?

@paranormal pleased to see things are going as well as they can at this point. Keeping everything crossed for you.

@bubble chances are you ovulated later than normal, opk’s only indicate that your body is gearing up to ovulate, not that it has. If you didn’t get a positive it could be that you didn’t ovulate that time but days later. My friend is a doctor, she’s told me that even after the LH surge sometimes ovulation can be as much as 72hrs after. If you had an anovulatory cycle then it’s likely you’d not have a period for two months, or you would have random bleeding at odd times. Late periods are usually caused by late ovulation not no ovulation.

I’ve been lurking but not posting as trying not to get too obsessed again after our enforced break. I’ve kind of given up on having anymore children now, not given up hope but I’m not actively TTC anymore.

Thanks ladies. Could it be that my body has just randomly and for not apparent reason decided that my cycles are now going to be 34 days instead of 28? I’ve had 28 days cycles since I started my periods at 12 but I know cycles can change over time. And yeah I know you don’t ovulate on the day of a positive opk but just because of how my cycles used to work (I.e. always ovulating on cd14 one or two days after a positive opk) I just assumed that was the norm for me as it has been for a year and a half.

This month I stopped using opks on cd17 as I was getting pretty much no lines and hadn’t been having any fertile cm since cd14. If I ovulated late, could I have done so with infertile cm? I’ve had lots of cm but just the creamy lotion type stuff. My sex drive has been zero so we only had sex on cd13 and none since so either way, I’m not going to be preggo lol

Sorry to hear that june we have given up too. Have you got anything planned over the summer? We have a holiday booked for August so I’m focusing on that once my period comes. Have you gone back onto contraception or are you just kind of not trying but not not trying?

@bubble it could be so many things affecting your cycle it’s really difficult to tell. I’d say you probably can ovulate without fertile CM. Just a case of wait and see. It’s annoying though when your body just decides to do something different.

We’ve given up TTC in the tracking, timed sex etc way, but we are still having sex whenever we can. I’m not holding out a lot of hope and as much as I tell myself it’s not going to happen there is that little voice in my head that goes ‘that’s what you said last time’

Bubble I agree with June. It’s actually amazing that so many of us have regular cycles when actually it’s the hormone axis most sensitive to stress/change. I always get egg white CM quite early and then just have thin CM from them on. Never really dries up and never follows the pattern you’d expect. Might be because my cervix is scarred and useless mind you!

Give it a few days and test if it doesn’t show up. After not testing until a week late last time I’m a convert to waiting to test; line showed up immediately, darker than control. No squinting or ambiguity.

And by 34 day cycle I meant 31! But yeah I suppose you’re both right. I don’t think I’d be bothered if now and again I’d had odd cycles but for 16 years of my life they’ve been spot on so of course, cue me losing my damn mind. I can’t really say much about ewcm as it’s only been the past 3 months I’ve had it, it used to be just watery when I first started ttc. Anyway, I’ll have to wait and see. And I absolutely will not be testing unless I’m at least 2 months late because I am not a fan of testing full stop lol I don’t know how people can test at like 7dpo.

june I think it’s good to have a break sometimes. Here’s me fretting over ovulation and fertile/non fertile cm, I just want to live my life lol. I’m trying to keep to the mantra of “it’ll happen when it happens” even though it might not actually happen. I think accepting it’s totally out of your control is good. Hard, but good. I hope it happens for you soon :)

Man I'm crap at this whole opk thing - HELP ME! Lol - is the one at 10pm cd 15 positive?

@bubble the enforced break helped, gave me back some perspective and let me see that whilst yes I’m desperate for another baby and a sibling for DD but I can’t spend all my life thinking about either ovulating or my period arriving. In the last 3 or 4 weeks I’ve started eating better, working out again and actually just enjoying being TTC free and the whole rigmarole of sex at a certain time. I refuse to go back to that place that was making my world a bit dark. If it doesn’t happen then so be it, we’ll adjust and survive.

@looking none of those OPK’s are positive, the line needs to be darker or as dark as the control line. Looks like it should happen soon from the last one on CD15.

Looking that doesn’t look positive to me :(
The second line has to be as dark or darker than the control.

June that’s exactly how I feel now. Would love a baby and would love to give DD a sibling especially as she’s nearly 10 but I just can’t and don’t want to live my life like this anymore! It gets too consuming. And like you said, if it happens it happens and if it doesn’t then it’s just something we’ll have to deal with. Sucks but I guess there’s not much more than that that you can do

@bubble it does suck, massively, but I know I’m better off than most people. I’ve got a lovely DD and at least I get to experience being a Mum. Some people never even get that. I just can’t live under that cloud anymore, waiting for each month to pass by, wishing my life away until I’m pregnant again, which might be never! It’s not fair on my DD putting so much effort into a child that doesn’t, and may never, exist at the expense of a child I already have.

June are we the same person? Haha. Thats what I told myself a few months ago. After this month, I was stopping because not only is it not fair on myself but it’s not fair on my DD. I feel for my partner though because he has no biological children. But we have a very good life, we have my daughter so we can do family stuff and she also spends time with her dad so we are also able to do grown up stuff too. Obviously I’d rather we had a baby instead but our lives are still pretty good without one if that’s how it was meant to be. Who knows, maybe it’ll happen for us both while we’re just out there living our lives :)

I really hope so, but if not at least we are out there living. And won’t turn bitter at all the time we wasted TTC 😊