Reality check... PLEASE!

[Kate8989]

Hi everyone,

It’s around 9 weeks since MC (I was about 10 weeks gone). About 2 weeks after got pelvic pains on left side. Been back and forth to Doctors but nobody knows what it could be.
I have been in severe emotional distress since it all happened, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I’ve had a period since the MC and it was fine (i convinced myself it would be awful).
I need a logical brain to tell me my psychological state could be impacting my body?!!? I can’t take the worry anymore! X

Bump- hand hold

From one Kate to another - I'm sorry you're having such a hard time coping. I'd probably feel quite similar to you as my long journey has taken a real toll on my mental health and resilience.

It is possible your anxiety is affecting your physical health.

Have you been checked to ensure you didn't retain any tissue? Or maybe an infection? Especially if you're still experiencing pain, I'd ask for these things to be checked.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you! Didn't want this post to go unanswered...

@Kate8989 I'm so sorry you're still feeling so anxious about it all. Your anxiety and depression most likely are having an impact, but at the same time I would hate to think you were minimising the pain etc by saying 'oh it's just because I'm anxious' - pain is still pain if you know what I mean!

Did you get a private appointment booked in the end? X

kaytees- I’m going on Tuesday. I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment as working part time. So I know that doesn’t help. How are you feeling? X

@Kate8989 yeah time to think isn't always the most helpful when you're stressed or in pain. You sound so aware of what does and doesn't work for you though - a lot of people wouldn't be, so try to be proud of how in touch with your thought process you are!

I'm okay thanks - had another round of bloods taken to find out what's happening with my ovulation and hopefully get some idea of where the pain is coming from.

@kaytees- thank for you taking an interest in me. It’s nice to talk to someone. I spend so
much time consulting “Dr Google”, I end up terryfing myself.
Hopefully you’ll get some answers soon, isn’t it strange how different Dr’s work. I’ve never been offered a blood test 😳 x

@Kate8989 hand hold. I'm glad you've finally got an appointment. I know what you mean though, we can't know for sure how much our mental state is affecting our physical state. I'm still so torn up about my mc six months ago the negative energy might be what's stopping me.
I wish I had some answers for you, or the doctor did! I just hope you find them soon

@DaisyMay25 bless you, thanks so much. How are you feeling? This MC is like an earthquake that’s off inside and really shaken me physically and emotionally. I keep reading Women’s stories who say “I was fine physically” and I think grrrr that should be me! But we’re all unique individuals x

@Kate8989 I'm alright still get pains and my body just feels broken. I'm tempted to get some private fertility tests done, they're on groupon for £100. I've got my scan on Monday so I'll talk to my doctor about it then. I really thought I'd be pregnant by now, if I'm not by Christmas I think I'm going to give up tbh, it's just too much mentally. I'm sorry you're still in so much pain, they not even got an idea what it could be? Is it stopping you from ttc again? x

@DaisyMay25- you’ve hit the nail on the head there. That’s exactly how my body feels- broken!!! I feel so sore and tender.... they just don’t know. They say probably my bowels but I’m so tense I think my pelvic muscles and nerves are all f***. I’m scared to have sex, plus I’m so low mentally cannot say I’ve felt like it x

@Kate8989 it's amazing you haven't been offered one - I can totally see why you've opted for some private checks too. And I'm always happy to chat about these things if someone needs it - it can feel quite silent and isolating at times so if logging on and seeing a message from someone helps then it can only be a good thing.

@DaisyMay25 do you happen to know what the checks on groupon are offering? Like you I (perhaps naively) thought I'd be preg by now as DS was conceived quickly.. I definitely am feeling a lot more worry than I was and am keen to get as many checks as possible.

@Kate8989 have they given you anything for it? I'd ask for blood test or stool tests to see if there's an infection if the scan due to find anything.

@kaytees the deal seems to have disappeared, if I find it again I'll let you know! DH doesn't see the point in getting tests done, he doesn't think it'll change anything.. I don't think he understands our side if things sometimes. I feel like my body isn't working right because I'm not pregnant by now

@DaisyMay25 yes, the frustration you feel at your body is something I can sympathise with - I try very hard to be kind to myself but notice a lot of thoughts along the lines of 'well, other people seem to manage getting preg quickly, why can't you?' - not helpful!

Hi @Kate8989 how are you doing? Had my scan today but don't get the results for about a week (so I'll be calling on Friday)

@DaisyMay25- hey, how did your scan go? How are you feeling? I’m really not good at the moment, the pain and the “unknown” is making me feel so depressed. I think gosh, is this the new normal for me now? I cannot live like this. I have an appointment with a gynaecologist tonight, so I’m going to be begging him for answers and a plan moving forward. I’ve felt in limbo since the MC, it’s also effecting my relationship as I’m so miserable and distant! What id give to go back a year in time x

@Kate8989 they literally have nothing away, the checked my kidneys, pelvis and abdomen but just muttered numbers to each other so I won't know anything until next week. I'm feeling alright the pain is only now and again, sounds like nothing compared to yours though.
Hopefully you get some answers tonight you can't live your life like this.
Let me know how tonight goes x

@Kate8989 how did your appointment go last night? x

@DaisyMay25- How you doing? X

@Kate8989 hello! Finally been referred to a gynaecologist to see if they can get to the bottom of my pain, it's mainly in my back now, but that's not until 15th May, every other test came back fine.

How're you getting on? The pain eased up at all?

Oh gosh so you’re still suffering then? How are you keeping your spirits up?
I’m having a laparoscopy 2 weeks on Thursday so hopefully I’ll get some answers. Not feeling any better really, feels
like a nightmare at the moment x

Yea, sometimes I think the pain has stopped but unfortunately it hasn't. I'm not really, had to take a sick day last week because it was just awful.

Fingers crossed they find something then. You found anything to help cope with it? x

They’ve given me really strong painkillers but I don’t want to become reliant on them, how about you?
My pain in my back has be awful today, struggling to stand and walk i could cry. I don’t think I can carry on much longer.
I wake up in the morning thinking maybe today it will be gone- but no! X

@Kate8989 just glued to your hot water bottle still?
That's not good at all, I'm gonna take a heat pack for my back at work tomorrow I reckon.
You still not ready to TTC again yet then? x

I don’t blame you, yes I’m still using hot water bottles and also a cherry cushion which you put in the microwave. We tried last month but period came so decided to put things on hold until I’ve had this laparoscopy. It’s only 2 weeks. How about you? Xx

At least your periods are back though, that's something at least.
We've been trying since mc in September, period was two days late this month and had symptoms so got my hopes up.
TTC is just mentally draining, doctor said they'll do tests if I'm not pregnant by summer but I'm tempted to just go private