TTC after pregnancy loss. Thread 17. New Year, new hope for all!

[Primrose16]

Oops the other one got full before new one made. Kept the same name to make it easier to find.

Bobo I'm not sure what DPO I am tbh! From my ovulation sticks I thought I ovulated a week last Thursday but I'm due on next Saturday?!?

Haha @weasledee it's alot of guesswork isn't it!? Did you get positive opk on Thursday or before that? Sounds like you are a day ahead of me. I got my first positive opk on Friday and then the line was gone by Sat night. As you can ovulate anytime in the 48 hours after a pos opk I usually count it as the next day. So I'm going from last Sat and I usually have a 13 day luteal phase so due on on Friday.

I got a faint one on the Wednesday....

Also ladies. @Boboelephant's post on my blog has had quite a lot of views. So I was wondering if maybe people are wanting to hear real stories. Would anyone like to share their story of an mc? No biggie if not. Xx

Looks like I'll be keeping an eye on opks. Seems to be darker than usual. Maybe I haven't ovulated!! Gonna be looking out for another possible peak. 🙈

@Cakelaur have you just started opks again? Would it be possible that you hadn't ovulated??

@cakelaur I don't mind sharing mine.

@cakelaur rubbish about the BFN I haven’t tested! Got some brown spotting at about tea time yesterday then nothing- argh, wish it would just come already. I’m cd30 now- AF came on cd30 last month so maybe today is the day. I don’t mind sharing my story- I will type up and post another day.

Just wanted to send my love to all today, I know today is hard when going through ttc journey. Xxxxx

Oh and @Cakelaur I'm so glad to hear. Hopefully people start talking about pregnancy loss a bit more openly and share the knowledge. Even if it is only to educate people not to ask insensitive questions!

Sorry you're going through this @Primrose16. Hope you get an answer soon!

@Cakelaur I hope it reaches those who need it the most. I don't mind sharing but idk how to go about it

I started testing opks again. Cos my temps aren't mega high. They're higher than pre ov. But not as high as Normal. So I wondered if maybe I didn't ov yet. But I just did another opk and there was barely a line there. So either it was just a random but of LH in my system or I've missed another surge. No bloody idea. I'm gonna DTD just for the sake of it. Although I really can't be arsed. 🤣😂🙈

If you wanna just write up a post (to those who would like to share) and I can copy it over to the blog. There's been about 140 people read the blog in 3 days which I'm quite pleased about.

Ooh @Boboelephant that's a good topic... what not to ask a woman and things not to say.

@Cakelaur have a glass of wine and just crack on with it! It's for the greater good 😉
Yeah I know my experience has been that as soon as my DS turned 18 months old everyone - including strangers- started asking me 'when are you having another?' Or worse 'don't you want another?' What I wanted was to punch them in the face! Most people (I was the same until I had a loss to be fair) just assume it's so easy so don't think about the effect it can have.

@Cakelaur how gorgeous are they?!

@Boboelephant I'm not sure what I'm going to say when I get those kind of comments. It's only a month since my loss so I've avoided it so far. It seems a bit much to tell randoms that I've had a mc, but on the other hand no-one ever talks about it and it seems like they should!

I was thinking the other day that I know several of my friends who've had one or more mc, and I'm sure there's loads more of them that I don't know about. But I don't know anyone else who's had a later loss similar to mine (outside of mn anyhow!) If more people talked about it then I think that would make the whole thing a bit easier, but I appreciate it's such a hard thing to talk about.

When people ask you that what do you say?
My response has been- yes we'd love another one close in age but unfortunately I've had 3 miscarriages since August- it's been really awful to be honest. Most people have reacted really sweetly and genuinely been so sorry they asked. I'm sure it will stop them asking other people because I'm sure they feel really awkward and bad about it.
I really wish this subject was not so taboo- I really feel it helps to talk about it because it becomes such a Defining aspect of our lives - how/why are we supposed to hide it!

My last miscarriage that I experienced on Wednesday was truly one of the most gruesome things I have had to go through -
@Cakelaur I would love to read your blog- what's the link?

@Sloeberrygin yeah it's a tough one. Tbh after my ectopic I kept alot of it in which I don't think was a great way of handling it in hindsight. Since the MMC I've started responding that I've had losses and it's helping me process it all I think. Such a tough thing. Sometimes I would just say 'yes I would like another ' and leave it at that. The questions seem to have dried up a bit recently. I guess after a period of time people maybe guess that it's not simple!

So I spent today with my best friend. Who has two beautiful children. (one of whom is my god baby) I was handed, by her, my 'Happy Godmummy Day' present. For which i had no words. Utterly precious gift. My daffodils sit pride of place on my kitchen island with their little yellow bow, but the pain of the reality set in as her little face looked up at me, and my heart breaks that i may never have a little one hand me flowers. And i may never get the chance to be told 'Happy Mothers Day'.

So to all of us on here... with kids, without, pregnant or just lost a bub... happy Mother's Day. I for one know I'm a mummy just without a baby right now. So sending big hugs.

The link to the blog @zarala is ttcabiggerhousehold.blogspot.co.uk

@zarala we were typing at the same time. Yes I do now find if I reply honestly people are quite shocked and feel bad about it. It took me while though to be able to talk about it. I was very scarred after the ectopic and couldn't talk about it for ages. The latest loss brought it all up again so trying to deal with both. If you are able to reply honestly I think it's good to do it. But I wish the subject wasn't taboo so people understood that some people will not be able to talk about it so the questions are so tough. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this all again so recently.

Oh @Cakelaur. Sending you big hugs right back.

@Cakelaur I feel for you - I've had a very hard day too. Sending all of you ladies lots of love today. Let's be kind to ourselves.

A Facebook friend posted this today and I though it was really lovely! A nod to all walks of life!

@Cakelaur your puppy is gorgeous.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone and remember, even if our babies are in our memories and hearts, rather than our arms, we are still mothers. This is undoubtably a really difficult day for most if not all of us. Thinking of us all.

@TheDinosaurRoars What lovely words! Thanks for saying that. I felt OK today but did feel sad thinking about where I thought I'd be versus where I am. I'm also sending best wishes to everyone.

I'm now 6 or 7 dpo. I have a few symptoms (some twinges, boobs feel large) but they are nowhere near as pronounced as when I got a BFP in Jan. The wait continues...

@Boboelephant and @Kingy2910 thank you for your replies a while back. It's been a hard few weeks and I found it too hard to come back on here until now but wanted to thank you for your support.
I'm now feeling much stronger want to start ttc again as soon as possible although no AF yet since MC three weeks ago. Enjoying being on here and feeling part of a community!
Also getting slightly obsessed and symptom checking as dtd about a week ago and have since ovulated, or am about to, according to LH tests. I know meant to wait until AF after MC but sort of thought 'why not'... this is probably why not - mind is obsessed and no way to know where I am! 🤞we'll see.

@Timewaitsfornowoman sorry you've had a hard day. It's totally shit and not something o even considered until it just hit me.

@Boboelephant the topic has been added to the blog. It's quite fun this blog stuff. Never saw myself as much of a writer! Haha!

@Claire138 what a lovely post. I saw a similar thing from a friend of mine on FB.

@TheDinosaurRoars thanks. Can't wait to see him again on March 25th! 😍🐶

Fingers crosscrossed for you @Hope137

@BabynameEdie the obsession comes every month for me!! Haha!! Fingers crossed you're wearing the fertility cape!! 🤞