When the going gets tough, the tough get Yams

[SoozC]

Thread five!

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement.

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

And most importantly...

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

Sorry about your bfn si1ver :( enjoy your wine

sooz I genuinely can’t picture myself with a baby anymore. When I first started ttc I had all these images of us as a happy completed family, going out on family walks with a buggy and everyone poking their head in to tell me how cute my baby was and asking me questions. I used to daydream about how I’d tell my OH I was pregnant. Maybe get a digital hpt and a cute “daddy” babygro and give them to him in a little box and then we would both have a happy cry. Now I can’t picture any of it. I’m so very lucky to have my daughter but my family isn’t complete and I can’t see it ever being that way. The hope has just gone. It makes me really sad that I can’t even dream about it anymore. I really do think you’ll get there, and I honestly hope you do xx

I can't dream about it either, Bubble. I get scared reading about women who took years ttc, often without a happy ending. I get scared that's me. I worry about when I should put the dream away and stop. I don't feel I can yet but, at 36, every cycle my fertility is waning. I wish I could know what the future holds. I'm scared. That's the emotion I feel the most.

@SoozC Yes orally. My GP told me there was no point doing OPKs as I have PCOS but I'm starting to get to the point where I'll try anything! (except yams, obviously )

Hope, try bbt vaginally and see if that helps the pattern. Agree about opks but just thought any other info might help pinpoint your ov.

Jumping on the BBT chat - I'm on CD25 and had a big temp drop. Not back to follicular phase level but lowest yet of the LP. Do I count myself out this month?

On the face of it I'd say yes, Ron, sorry. But there are always those people who say they had a dip and then it rose again afterwards and they got their bfp! It just never happens that way for me.

Thanks Sooz, just discovered I'm out. Cycle 24 begins. FML.

Not sure how much longer I can do this. It's never going to happen is it?!

Jumping back in, Yammers, after a few weeks of being away after test another chemical last month. DH had his SA on the 15th and the results should be back in about three weeks. I was away during predicted O this month so I think we’re out before even trying and I’ve kissed goodbye to a 2018 baby.

On the plus, we’ve almost saved enough for a house deposit and I’ve been booked to photograph 8 weddings this year!

Sorry, Ron. It gets harder every month, doesn't it?

Hi, Just, welcome back! We've been contemplating the lack of a 2018 baby recently. Milestones in ttc, whatever they are, suck.

Good to hear your news though! We're looking to buy, too, very exciting!

Sorry to hear that justwaiting hope you’re doing okay

@ron sorry for af arriving, be kind to yourself.

@justwaiting sorry to see you back, there is still a chance of a 2018 baby with the next cycle. But like you I’m not holding out much hope of a 2018 baby now. Things sound good on the work front. Are you and DH both photographers?

Mynameis I’m due AF on the 10th of this month so I suppose there is one cycle after this one which would been a Christmas sprog which would be nice as DD is time for Christmas this year instead of at her dads.
No, not both! DH is a paramedic I wouldn’t call myself a photographer but I did my first wedding last year and have now somewhat made it my mission to bring affordable wedding photography to brides of the UK!

Well.... we had our first epic DTD fail last night. Feel so fucking awful this morning. DH was so angry at ?himself ?me who knows.... didn't ever think this would be a problem for us. I was more accepting that my body was broken and it was my fault we couldn't get pg, but I didn't want TTC to fuck with his head like this. Fuck fuck fuck

@just weirdly my last af was 10th of March 2015, dd was due the 15th Dec but came 2 weeks early. That’s really good you’ve been booked for so many weddings and that you’re doing it affordably for people 😊 If you’re getting paid to take pictures then to me you’re a photographer.

@wonky that’s tough and I’m not sure how I’d deal with it. Try not to make it into a huge deal I guess so it doesn’t effect future sessions 😬

mynameis I found out I was pregnant with DD on 10th March 2014, born 26th November two weeks late

wonky I wrote a long reply which didn’t work out but essentially, TTC is a fucking hard and horrible journey. The angry is probably at the situation, not at him or you. If he’d be open to it, could you sit down and have a really open and honest discussion about how you’re both feeling? DH and I had one around the year mark after a similar wobble ( excuse my turn of phrase) and it really helped knowing that neither of us was alone, ya’know?

@just how strange! Just realised af is due the 9th of this month so next cycle would give dd and potential new baby nearly the same due date.

@wonky I think the suggestion of talking about it is a good idea although appreciate that’s not the easiest!

@wonky we just had a fail last fw and I was really worried how my OH would cope with being unable to perform- especially as it was the beginning of fw and I didn’t want to miss a cycle! He’s very sensitive about that (aren’t they all) and has recently been talking more about how much he wants a family and how hard he’s finding TTC. But he’s not normally a talker and I can make things worse by forcing him to talk! I just played it calm, and said not to worry we’ll try again later. Didn’t make a big deal about it. Day after he was fine. 🤞 for you.
I hate how TTC messes with your head.

Thanks ladies, it's just so hard to work out how much importance to put on timings. I don't temp so checking cm is all I have to go on, and it's an even more unreliable guide when my cycle is so unpredictable. Difficult to balance timings vs losing my sanity with each failed cycle. Hoping he returns from work with renewed vigour 😉

Wonky, just dtd as often as you can. I've given up temping and opks as they did nothing for me. When I got my bfp in October I wasn't doing either, plus we dtd on the Monday and then the Saturday, so not even every day or every other! Not sure exactly when I ov'd but I think it was the Saturday (could have been as early as the Wednesday between our dtd. But I really have no idea).

So fingers crossed for you for tonight! Don't let one 'failed' attempt worry either of you. x

I agree with Sooz as well @wonky. I don’t temp or opk anymore either. Just try to dtd as often as possible. When I got a bfp in September we dtd 4 times all month, same when I got pregnant with my DD we dtd 3 times so not doing it loads doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

We are attempting to dtd eod as with there being some sort of issue which DH's sperm then I think leaving a longer length in between might not bring us any joy It is hard work though. I'm hoping his GP will tell us more on Monday. DH has agreed to let me go with him, I said to him that I know it's his body but what's happening affects us both, which is why I tell him everything I've found out from my side too. I've tried being as sensitive and delicate as I can.

For the ladies experiencing dtd issues, please don't feel bad! It's happened to us a few times, even when not ttc and you just need to not make a big deal about it. Guys are fat more touchy about that kind of stuff than what we are. It happened to us last cycle @WonkyDonk87 and DH was pissy with me, stomping around afterwards etc but I just let him cool and told him not to worry.

This cycle we’re going for ‘not trying, not preventing’ to take some pressure off and see how we go. Then next cycle (ha, I’m giving up on this cycle already and I’m only a few days in) I’ll temp again and concentrate on FW and when that doesn’t work it’ll be time to go to the doctors because I’ll have been off contraception a year.

wonky DH and I frequently have that problem courtesy of his medications. It can be frustrating especially when you miss peak days (or entire fw) but try it to let on. It shook DH badly at first but now we have found ways to work round it the best we can. I use opks so I can try to orchestrate at least hitting fw once or twice (no way DH would manage EoD!)

looking glad he is letting you go to the appointment too, write down your list of questions otherwise they have a tendency to go out your head until 5 mins after the appointment! Or that's what I find anyway.

Some phantom symptom spotting here; night sweats last night =pg. defo nothing to do with the pizza and beers I had 🤦‍♀️

Only another 7-10 days of this til af