Anyone else waiting to TTC?

[happytobemrsg]

I thought we could keep each other company while we wait!

Your age/DH age: 29/39
Baby #: This will be #2
When are you TTC: I think we should start in June when DS is 2 but we are so broody it might be sooner
Why are you waiting: We are doing some house renovations at the moment & sorting out some stuff financially. Everything seems a bit up in the air & I can only stress about a couple of things at a time. I'm looking forward to life settling down only to have a newborn mess it all up again
What are you doing to keep busy?: I'm project managing house renovations & enjoying one-on-one time with DS before he (hopefully) becomes a big brother. DH & I are having a huge joint birthday party in September for my 30th & his 40th so I'm enjoying planning that!

Hi @Jxtina86 😂 bless him - although my SIL had her first around Christmas, and it was all a bit hectic so not sure if I'd do it, but each to their own. And tbh I want a baby now so I don't think I can really be that fussy 😂
I really wish men could feel the broodiness and longing we feel sometimes, I know my DH thinks I'm crazy!

@TheOneWithTheBaby I suppose it would be difficult at first, but I think when you're on mat leave, might be a good idea a few months in to let your husband take care of the baby when he works from home, and see how he gets on? That way, if you return to work and childcare isn't an option, then he should be okay iyswim? Difficult to explain when writing, sorry if it doesn't make sense 😂

@dottydally I think that's sensible! Definitely give another aldi a go, we have one that ALWAYS has low stock and is basically empty... but the one up the road from it is brilliant, always has what we need! Another thing I've started doing is writing a list of what I'm buying, but i group the items into the shops that I need to buy them from - so if I know I can't buy something from Aldi, I'll put those things down separately for a different shop. That way I don't overcompensate and overspend by just buying it all from one place

Hi 🙋🏻
Can I join?? I'm 24, dp is 26, baby number one for both of us. Both broody as hell and desperate to get started!
Waiting because money! We want to get married first and haven't quite worked out the logistics of that yet! Plus we'll be looking to buy our first home towards the end of the year, so it makes sense to hold off ttc until later in the year anyway.
Pressure is on tho as I have a physical disability and I want to give myself my best chance, both for a successful pregnancy (Chances of miscarriage are higher, we lost one last year) and to be the best mum I could be without being completely held back by pain. I was told 3.5 years ago, the sooner the better, but wanted to be secure first!
Realistically it might even be next year before we start ttc so we're both working our arses off in the meantime, saving all we can! We've already been going back and forth with this since the start of the year, trying to balance 'let's just do it, we'll make it work!' with 'it'll be so much harder to save etc with a baby, we should wait!'

Welcome @OakIsBetterTho! As hard as it will be to wait, it's definitely better to make sure you are secure first. Sorry to hear about your loss last year, but hopefully it will go smoothly for you when it does happen. Weddings don't have to be expensive but it does depend on what you want/how big you want it to be. Interestingly, we were just discussing ways to save money!

@cupcakesandglitter I think I will have to try again. I do it the wrong way round really, I do most of my shopping in Sainsbury's and then get some bits in aldi. I'm a sucker for the delivery too, picking convenience over savings. I think I'll try visiting a different store, it might that ours is poorly stocked. We also have a lidl - any experience there?

Thanks dolly yea I know, were in a good position right now, good jobs, etc etc, but we just want to make it all as 'easy' as we can you know?
Fingers crossed we have more luck next time, last time shook us both hugely. Unplanned but very much wanted.
Personally I'd happily have a small do, but DP has other ideas. He's got friends everywher, the sociable bastard on the plus side, due to his job (agri contractor) a high season wedding is entirely out of the question, so at least we'll save money there!
I'll have a read back, sounds helpful!

Welcome @Oak. Sorry to hear about your previous pregnancy.
It's good that you're saving. It'll definitely help to lessen the load once the baby's here. We're trying to save but are also getting married in October so I have a feeling we're not going to be left with much once that's come round. It's so frustrating because we keep getting takeaway leaflets through the post and it'd be rude not to....

@Dotty I love Lidl. Always end up spending loads there though as everything is so cheap and come away with a trolley full. I think they're very good price wise for meat and cheese. Also yoghurts, crisps etc. as they're all their own brand. They can also be a bit hit and miss with stock levels. Can you tell I love Lidl?!

Hi @OakIsBetterTho 👋🏽 our wedding wasn't expensive at all (I was 21, DH was 23) so we just budgeted everything we could and REALLY shopped around. I bought my dress from an outlet and saved over £1000 on it which was a plus, and we had a lot of friends there but made sure we were quite selective too... we loved it and that was the most important thing!

@dottydally @AssumeItWasSomethingClever 😂 I know what you mean with Lidl! I can't resist buying from the bakery section every time I go into store 😩 their fruit and veg offers are brilliant! Stock levels vary in ours too (I personally prefer Aldi but DH prefers Lidl) but it's definitely worth going in!

I don't actually shop in Sainsbury's anymore, a lot of their stuff is very overpriced I think - but i may be biased because I love Aldi!

Welcome @Jxtina86! We're also aiming for a spring/summer baby. My two DC are autumn/winter babies and the long, dark nights were tough. They both took quite a long time of TTC though so as you say, things don't always go to plan!

@OakIsBetterTho oh definitely. We do love good organisation on this thread do you will feel right at home.

Could you have a small wedding and then a big party somewhere at a later date? That way you'd still get to invite all his friends and it would probably be less expensive if it doesn't have the word 'wedding' on it!

I know it's hideously impractical (particularly in the UK), but I loved Phoebe's wedding in Friends in the snow. In reality a Christmas wedding here would be a logistical nightmare and very cold!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever @cupcakesandglitter a very strong vote for Aldi/lidl on here then.. perhaps I need to give it a go. I have had lidl croissants before from the bakery and they were lovely! Does their fruit and veg last well? That's my biggest issue when I have bought things in aldi - they go off before I get to them (as I do one weekly shop plus top ups)

Maybe I also need to go armed with my usual shopping list with prices so I can compare while in there.

I've been super broody lately so feeling like a year is such a long time to wait. We were also talking about things we could buy for the baby last night - I'm so pleased my OH is more talkative about it all now!

@dotty I can't speak for the fruit as I only tend to buy what I'm going to eat the next day but the veg is very good IMO.
I have been mega broody as well. We had friends round at the weekend and one brought her 3 month old. We were all talking about what names we would name our future kids. OH refused to play along (I think he's superstitious) so it's lovely that you can talk about dreams with your OH

@dottydally I've not had any issues with fruit :) i do tend to find though when I buy it I don't actually eat it, and when I don't buy it I want it 😩

I sent my husband a text the other day with five names that I like, he was a bit shocked 😂😂 he's started to become more open too - @AssumeItWasSomethingClever my DH wouldn't talk about it for the first year of our marriage because it wasn't going to happen any time soon and he was scared I think; now that it's slowly coming closer I think he's being a bit more open with it?

Thanks for the welcome! Like I said, just feels good to have somewhere to talk about this - of course husband and I talk on and off about this but I haven't said anything to friends or family. I'm trying not to get too caught up in it all as it's only recently I've become broody (husband has been for a few years though!) Two of my best friends have recently had babies and it's definitely kick started something in me lol. Do have a question though- is anyone coming off contraceptive such as the pill before truly TTC? I've been on the pill for almost 10 years and have heard varying tales of how quickly your cycle goes back to 'normal'?

@Jxtina86 I've been on the pill for about 5 years, and I'm going to be coming off the pill a month in advance. There's plenty here coming off hormonal contraception much earlier, but for me I remember my cycle being fairly predictable before (so hopefully will be again), and also I cannot be bothered with the faff of condoms! So I'm staying on the pill a bit longer and just hoping my cycle behaves itself when I come off it next month.

@mussie @Jxtina86 I came off contraception (implant then the pill) in August last year - didn't have AF until October, and my cycles have been alternating between every 45 days and 12 days so it's been all over the place. This month has been the first time I've had a 30 day cycle (yay!) so hopefully my body has started to settle again... but everyone is completely different, I'd just keep that in mind though x

@mussie @cupcakesandglitter yes it does seem a real mixed bag with cycles and hormonal contraceptives! I've spoken to the practice nurse about coming off the pill and she was adamant my cycle would be back to normal straight away but given the mixed views on this from friends and online I'm very sceptical. I think I was pretty regular before the pill... who knows now though! I'm also a bit worried about coming off as I used to get horrific period pain - we're talking 24 hours of agony and not being able to eat or stand without feeling faint or sick. When I went to the doctors about it they just stuck me on the pill and never went into the underlying issues that could be causing it like endometriosis or similar. Annoyed at myself that I never questioned it either!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I'll have to give it a go this week then!

We kind of have an idea of what we might call a boy (but only from very hypothetical conversations early in our relationship). We're not quite talking baby names just yet otherwise although I'm thinking about it. Hope you got lots of cuddles with your friends little one!

@cupcakesandglitter It's always the way isn't it on the odd occasion I actually do the shop myself, I walk around going 'I don't need that' and regret it as soon as I'm home.

Once he got over the shock did your husband like the names? I just think that men don't get as emphatic about things as us.

@Jxtina86 I came off it in January, so just under 18 months before we want to ttc. I was concerned to leave it late as my cycles pre pill were very irregular and often long. I also worried what the hormones were doing to my body. I'm pleased to say my cycles have been 28-31 days since coming off. Can't say I'm enjoying condoms though!

@dottydally yeah the whole condom thing is annoying. Would be very odd to go back to that after years of not using them! Oh that's reassuring that your cycle was pretty regular straight away! can I ask what you were on pill-wise?

On the names thing (sorry to jump in on that!) We have middle names picked out for boy and girl but only because they've been given to the eldest son/daughter and we want to continue that but as for first names? I have a few in mind but husband just raises an eyebrow every time in amusement lol.

@Jxtina86 they are annoying but I feel a lot better in myself not being on it. I was on rigevidon, so I took it for 3 weeks then had a 7 day break. I think it's the one they prescribe automatically when you go for the pill. I'd been on it 8 years (I think) so was worried that my body might have forgotten what to do!

Are they family names? It's nice to continue things like that. You're welcome to share the names here if you want to! (But I completely understand that lots of people prefer to keep them to themselves).

@Jxtina86 not to scare you BUT I also had regular but horribly painful and heavy periods (I didn't know endo was a thing and so never really questioned it either) - since I've come off the pill they've gotten worse 😩 I'm screaming and crying in pain and fainting. They've started to calm down - they're back to being tolerable(Ish) now so I think my body is settling. I just monitor all my symptoms so I can see what's happening whenever it comes 😂

@dottydally I've done another Aldi shop today 😂 got quite a bit too!

Yes he got over the shock, he loves all of the names too which is a plus! It's good to sort of have him on board!

@cupcakesandglitter oh hun I really feel for you! Glad they're becoming more tolerable for you now! I feel like I'm prepared for them to come back and looking to other solutions like a TENS machine which I've heard can help. What is it with the awareness of endo these days? I'd never heard of it previously until I started to look into coming off the pill and recalled the horrible pain and did a little digging online. Now everyone I mention it to either has it or knows someone who has!

@dottydally oh I don't mind sharing- it's James and Christina. Although the latter we might change to Kristina (I'm half Swedish on my mum's side and apparently that was the original spelling)

@Jxtina86 I love Kristina with the K!
Yes I looked into that too!

I'm not sure, but I'm glad it's a big thing - although selfishly, I'm glad to know it's not abnormal? Not that it should be normal at all

@cupcakesandglitter gosh that sounds awful! Would the doctors do anything for you? Mine used to be heavy/painful but nothing paracetamol and a hot water bottle couldn't sort, so I can't imagine what you're going through. Mine are heavier than when on the pill but still not awful.

On a similar topic, does anyone use a menstrual cup rather than tampons? I think I like the idea as I find tampons a bit irritating sometimes, but they also kinda freak me out. Just wondered if it's worth trying?

@cupcakesandglitter what's your aldi Best Buy?!

@Jxtina86 both lovely names! I actually know a Kristina and you've got me browsing names now.. the next year is going to be so long.

@cupcakesandglitter oh yes definitely good that it's more mainstream. Hoping that if the pain does return as bad as it was before the docs might take me a bit more seriously and look into it to see what's what.
@dottydally I love looking at names and hearing people's choices. I'm not so good with boy names though- nothing really appeals to me and my three closest friends all have boys with really cool names so would have a lot to live up to lol!

@Jxtina86 what type of names do you like? Traditional or modern?

@dottydally I'm quite open to any names really but there are so many boys being popped out by friends and family it's just insane and all the names we think 'ooh that's nice' get chosen by others! There's been about four Alfie's in the last two years!!