Anyone else waiting to TTC?

[happytobemrsg]

I thought we could keep each other company while we wait!

Your age/DH age: 29/39
Baby #: This will be #2
When are you TTC: I think we should start in June when DS is 2 but we are so broody it might be sooner
Why are you waiting: We are doing some house renovations at the moment & sorting out some stuff financially. Everything seems a bit up in the air & I can only stress about a couple of things at a time. I'm looking forward to life settling down only to have a newborn mess it all up again
What are you doing to keep busy?: I'm project managing house renovations & enjoying one-on-one time with DS before he (hopefully) becomes a big brother. DH & I are having a huge joint birthday party in September for my 30th & his 40th so I'm enjoying planning that!

@1875mlk yes I asked before I left. I advise that you get everything agreed in writing!

@dottydally I found a lot of my mat leave really tough but that's because I had PND. I got better towards the end of it which is why I took an extra month - I wanted to spend more quality time with DS. I went back to work for 5 months. Our financial position changed which meant I didn't have to work but mainly I ended up not being happy in my job. Plus I found it incredibly hard rushing home (literally running from the bus stop) in order to be home in time to put DS to bed only to get home to see MIL had put him to bed early. I'd just sit in my lounge & cry. Now I'm at home 24/7 it's definitely not easier than my job! I still miss it sometimes but I think it was the right decision for us all in the end. Wow sorry for the essay!!

@dottydally ah flexitime! What a dream. I wish my work had that. Would be so handy.

It will be first baby, yeah - so very difficult to predict how we'll feel/how things will work practically. I do like my work and I'm not very maternal in general, so I feel like I'll be ok with going back to work, but you never know. At the same time, I feel that even if I really struggle to go back to work and I miss my baby terribly, that doesn't mean I get to take my DH's time with the baby away. He will be the baby's parent just as much as me, so I'd feel really guilty telling him he couldn't have his parental leave because I wanted it instead. Not sure how popular an opinion that is though! I expect my DM will have different views, and may be vocal about them..

@1875mlk oh I'm so jealous! I'm still looking at least 6 months, 12 if I can make it. With this said, we have something planned to look forward to every month between now and Christmas so hopefully it will fly by!

Congrats on the move! What made you move? Oh I know, I'm awful. It's a catch 22 as I want to talk about it so much but I'm having to be careful who knows and I have to watch myself (ie no talking about it at work).

@happytobemrsg Sorry to hear about the PND, I think it's so much more common than I ever realised and really must be awful. Rushing home for bedtime doesn't sound like fun and I do sometimes worry that I'll be doing the wrong thing going back to work but I know (for me/us) it is the right thing. Both sets of grandparents are retired and are happy to help with childcare so it will minimise nursery time.

@mussie Is there any flexibility where you are? Flexi time is brilliant but I'm aware it doesn't work for all jobs! Have you thought about whether you'll go back FT or PT? (If you have the option). I feel so selfish reading your post, we hadn't even considered my OH sharing the leave. I did mention it briefly but I suspect I'll still take the full year and a bit off. Without giving too much away, my OH gets around 12 weeks off a year (in addition to the 3 days he gets off each 'normal' week) so he gets far more time at home than me even without taking SPL. Oh parents always have ideas about how things should be done, you just have to do whatever works for you.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever That's not too long so hopefully it gets better. Is it coming out in clumps or are you just generally losing a bit more than normal? My headaches lasted 4 weeks really badly then a couple of weeks on and off and I'm fine now, so fingers crossed it settles itself down. I don't think I appreciated how much of a big change it is for your body to come off it (I'd been on it 8 years). It's a weird one but I also feel much more levelled emotionally not being on it. I was quite easily tearful when I was taking it but I am able to cope a lot better now I'm not on it, so I do worry what it was doing to me!

Questions (lighthearted) for anyone that already has a little one:

• what did you find you missed from your pre-child life that you weren't expecting to miss?
• what do you wish you had done/known before?

@dottydally ah okay, how come you guys are waiting? Sounds lovely though. Love having things to look forward to!

The move has gone really well, my parents are amazing tbh and helped out loads (especially since my partners van broke down mid move 😩). We moved quite far away from our families who in the same time when we moved in together which was fine for a while but we both have nieces and nephews and quite close to our family so we were doing way too much driving so decided to get a house nearer. Plus we were in a one bed flat and now we've got a two bed house in the hope that the second room will be a baby room one day xxx

Has anyone announced to friends or family that they intend on trying soon/at some point? Is this a thing?

@1875mlk we are waiting primarily because I'm going for promotion in December. It's a huge opportunity for me and I'd like to give myself the best chance of getting it (and not being distracted by other things). With this said it's constantly on my mind so perhaps it's distracting in other ways. We also have some work to do on our house (we moved last year). It's purely cosmetic so definitely not unliveable but I'm conscious I may struggle to justify the spending once we've got a baby.

Yay for your parents helping out with the move, I had no appreciation for how stressful moving was until we did it. It makes sense to be close to family. The second bedroom is exciting! I keep looking at the room that will be baby's and wondering how I'll decorate it

I told my Mum and my Nana. As a bit of background, i had found myself wanting a baby for the last year or so (although I hadn't said anything seriously, just the odd joke here and there) but my OH always used to respond by saying 'maybe when I'm 30' (so another 5 years). BUT, he brought it up at the end of last year and said he'd been thinking about it and it was something he wanted, so we decided 2019 would be our year. I told my Mum partly because I was so excited and needed to tell someone but also because we have a couple of relatives with potentially hereditary conditions so I wanted to talk to her to see what I needed to be aware of. I then went to see the doctors and they advised I'm actually at no higher risk that anyone else which was a relief! I told my Nana as she won't be here to see it, but so desperately wanted great grandchildren and I wanted her to know.

I came off the pill almost immediately as my periods used to be really irregular before I started on it, and I'd been on it so long that I wanted my body to figure out what it's meant to do. Thankfully, my cycles so far have been very regular so I'm hoping it was just that I was quite young when I went on the pill and things hadn't got into a proper rhythm.

Gosh this is a bit long

@1875mlk my parents know we want a third and have been making subtle comments about it for a while and then my Mam out right asked me if I wasn't on the pill anymore the other day! The woman no boundaries. I've talked to a couple of my friends about having more kids too but haven't said we're starting to try.

@dottydally It's just started falling out more than usual. Only noticed the bald spot yesterday as it's on my crown so can't easily see it! I've googled (worst thing to do!!) and it's saying it could be PCOS or a thyroid problem as well as the pill so I'm hoping it's nothing underlying that could hinder our chances of conceiving.

@1875mlk We haven't told anyone as I'm massively paranoid that it might not happen for us straight away. My mum is also a massive prude so would hate the thought of us trying... even though we've been together 8 years, we apparently don't do that kind of thing.
MIL is a bit intrusive, although we've got her in check at the moment. So we wouldn't want her knowing as to avoid the constant asking if we were pregnant (especially if it was taking us a while TC)
My Dad and FIL would be pretty indifferent at the idea tbh- until the baby was here anyway!

@dottydally how exciting. Good for you! I am sure you will smash the promotion. It's frustrating having to plan this stuff around work and not having to miss opportunity isn't it.

I told my mom last night and she had a few questions as I think she was quite surprised (I'm her youngest and I think she still sees me as her baby lol) but every question she had I had a plan in place (on paper - what a geek!) so she is quite happy now, just hope I haven't got her hopes up and will disappoint xx

@NoseringGirl what is it with moms 😂 they just love to know it all do t they xx

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I totally get that, and to be honest it's quite nice having something that just between you and your partner for a while. For us it's definitely been a nice period of bonding xx

My mum knows that we want a baby but doesn't know that I have come off the pill- I haven't said anything to her as it took her years to get pregnant and didn't want it to upset her.
We have however discussed things such as work with my parents when we do have a baby and hopefully my Husband earns just enough for us to make it without me needing to work but I would like to set up my own business and work from home flexibly when I can. My parents have said that definitely wouldn't want to look after a baby for more than a couple of hours at a time for us and my OH wouldn't trust his parents to look after the little one as there a bit spontaneous and are not the best at regular things like eating and stuff!

My mum knows we want a baby at some point but no details or timings. We just spoke about it when they found out about the PCOS as I think she had it too.

Wir wise, I think I'd take maternity and then go part time. It would be right but I wouldn't want to go back full time at all.

Surprised to see so many people's oh interested in taking shared leave! Think it's lovely for them to do but I definitely wouldn't want to go back to work earlier.
I've only told 1 friend we are thinking about trying...partly to unload and have someone else to chat to and partly she has been through her own struggles before being having her 2 children so I know she understands.

Been a bit awol and catching up on messages due to busy week at work.

@mrsg, I know what you mean! I may only week 3 days in the office but I definitely 'work' my 2 days at home - household chores, errands, play groups/play dates etc mean I feel like I'm working a full week! DH understands though, he's been part time before looking after DS and is very hands on anyway, so thankfully I never get any slack about why things aren't done at times!

@dotty, going down to 3 days was actually really easy and I've never looked back. I feel like my work/life balance is perfect for the first time since having him and can give everything I can to both work and home in the time I have, rather than feeling like a part time mum when working full time (although I am definitely NOT knocking any mum that works full time, whatever works for each individual person and their family is what's best!). I may well go back to full time work at some point who knows, but right now this works for us.

We haven't told anyone we're TTC in the next few months so that's why it's driving me a bit la la

*work not week!

Wondering if we can start a list of who is currently TTC and who is still waiting? (I'm struggling to keep track!)

WTTTC
rollerskaterdata - WTTTC #2 until August 2018

Currently TTC

Hi can I join? 👋🏽

Your age/DH age: 22/25

Baby #: This will be #1

When are you TTC: August this year - but I have some plans for our house so I have a feeling it may be delayed 😩

Why are you waiting: Financial reasons - it'd be better for me to hang on till August, I'd get better mat leave

What are you doing to keep busy?: trying to sort out all of the bits I want for the house - kitchen and bathroom planning, knocking out a couple of walls etc. My career has really taken off too which is keeping me focused right now but I am broody 24/7 and it makes me sooo impatient having to wait a few more months!!

@rollerskaterdata I do sometimes worry about going PT, but I think it'll be the right decision.

A list sounds good, I'll join - #1, we'll go with worst case scenario and say May 2019! (At least December 2018 but after that it's just a test of my own willpower...)

Welcome @cupcakesandglitter hopefully your house plans won't delay things too much! What do you have planned? Have you just started a new job?

I’m waiting until October 18 possibly September.

We were supposed to be starting this month but our kids have been ill and the youngest has stopped sleeping at night (developmental leap according to that wonder weeks app!) so not much chance of that now! DH will be away soon too so going to try if we can be probably officially starting TTC #3 in June.

Any oldies on here? I'm trying to lose a few lbs but I'm cutting it fine agewise (early forties).

Hi @dottydally I started a new job back in jan, and then we moved into our first home in March, so it's been a little hectic 😂 I've not started anything yet - I travel for work so I'm not home most of the week... actually have a couple of builders coming today so give me a quote on some work I want done!

Then it's just save save save so I can get everything out of the way, and get rid of all this stress 😂

@nosering, sorry to hear your kids haven't been feeling well, I hope they get better soon. It's hard isn't it when they stop sleeping through the night, I reckon that's going to be hard to go back to when I have a newborn again!

@welcome cupcakesandglitter! That sounds like a good distraction, I also have trying to buy a house, new car and sort my holiday to distract me between now and August!

@PutTheChocEggDown, hello and welcome! I have to confess I know you from the 40+ thread, I have to admit I stalk occasionally browse that thread as I find it so interesting (I learn so much about temping, vitamins and all of the other tactics that help with TTC) and all of you are inspirational!