Late af but can't bring myself to test

[Perpetualstateofchaos]

Af was due Friday morning and I keep setting back when I'll test. I promised mysrlf id get 1 Friday to use Saturday morning if still not arrived then it was buy 1 for this morning if no sign then changed my mind to not testing til Tuesday at the earliest.
I just can't bring myself to poas. I've had 5 consecutive miscarriages and they have all been within a week or 2 of a bfp.
Trying not to symptom spot but failing somewhat. Has anyone else been through this and what would you suggest.

I would suggest Testing, i have had 3 miscarriages and am now 16 weeks pregnant, there is hope for everyone, besides i got told it is less likely to happen again but was still so worried when i found out as i thought this will just turn out the same, but it hasn't, there's a reason for everything and this might be your time! Dont give up. Test, and if you are start takin folic acid straight away it really helps early development and is good for baby in very early days

Thanks yaz. I know I should I have 2 dcs already but I can't bring myself to test bad go though that heartache again in a week or so.

It depends on what you feel is worse for you mentally. To POAS and find out it’s a no, or to POAS and find out it’s yes but still within the time you have lost your other pregnancies. No one can really tell you what to do- just what they’d do. Personally, I would t test. But some people would as if it’s thw worse case again, they can grieve properly. Whatever you decide, good luck xx

Thank you sd. I thibk it's be worse for me to know my 2 most recent ones the sonographer couldn't find anything or found the sack in the wrong place. As much as dp and I want this I'm terrified of going through another loss.vut I hate the not knowing too. I'm going from being certain I'm going to test to putting it off. I think the only way I can really try and move on is bite the bullet, buy a test tomorrow and do it Tuesday morning. I just have to not talk myself out of it now.

if you don't want to test, start takin folic acid anyway its recommended to take when trying to get pregnant up until 12 weeks, so at least if u are it is getting everything it needs. Don't be afraid hun u will have ur turn, maybe this is it x