Gay parenting

[hazeleckeogh]

Hey, new here so don't know the lingo yet Just wondering about (lesbian preferably!) mums opinions on anon/ known donors. I don't want my children to feel like they'll only be complete when they know who their dad is, it upsets me to think that they won't see me and their other mum as their two parents and that they will probably think they need to find their "dad", who didn't raise them, didn't bring them to school, change the nappies, do the homework and the brushing their teeth and cleaning up sick and all that other stuff that parents do. In short, I want them to see us as their parents and not feel the need to find the man who donated sperm for us to be able to conceive, and I don't want them to be able to find him at all. Is that wrong or am I justified? And how can I keep that man 100% anon??

I get what you mean and I think my wife probably agrees with you more as the non-birth mum. She doesn't have that biological link so would rather any child didn't go looking for their donor.

We are using a known donor but don't intend to tell the child any details such as his name/family whereabouts. Will see how the child feels at 18 before offering any further information.

@hazel I don’t think you can keep him 100% anonymous. No matter how good a job you do as 2 parents your child is going to know eventually that there is a third person involved. Even if it is just being a sperm donor without them you wouldn’t have a child.

I can understand why you feel as you do but curiosity is natural and if you’re not open and honest with your child then you run the risk of them going behind your back to find the info out.