Shit, shit, SHIT. Is this positive? :(

[ThatHippyDippyShit]

Because if it is I'm fucked.

Have reported MadamMalteser's disgusting post; hopefully she and her revolting agenda will be deleted soon.

OP, don't listen to rabid arseholes with an axe to grind. Make the decision that is best for you and your family .

I reported it too, but I think it was deleted due to your quick work, Captain.

Thanks for being so on the ball, MN, I hope that wanker has been banned!

Op I have always been pro choice for everyone else but 'I could never have an abortion personally'

I have 2 kids. Both accidents. Yes both of them. Second time, it was a semi negative pregnancy and I was in shock and was terrified of how everything would change and how I would cope. I don't regret either of them. Yes it's hard with 2. Harder than 1. But I also find it easier in other ways.

If I was to find myself pregnant again right now...I would very seriously consider an abortion. 2 takes up all of my time and thoughts and energy and I can't imagine having any left for a third.

I also have BPD and I don't regret either of my kids. But I do miss how it was with just 1 as it was easier then. It didn't feel like it back then. But it was for me. And as much as I love my children more than anything, sometimes I think about if I'd made different choices.

What was so disgusting about it honestly. Ppl swear on here and say all sorts and insult others yet their posts are perfectly acceptable. The double standards on here is shocking. I'm just giving my honest opinion I haven't offended anyone. People on here are going on about termination like it a easy thing, OP do not do anything in haste. I registered on here literally a week ago I wish I'd hadn't.it is truly a shameless place.nyway, don't bother blocking me because I don't intend to come back.

@namechangebpd Thank you for sharing that with me, life with BPD is bloody hard work in itself.

I really appreciate everyone's kindness and support.

I assume you're being disingenuous when you say you don't know why what you said was disgusting. People on here are NOT 'going on about termination like it a easy thing' in the slightest; I assume you're being disingenuous about that too.

don't bother blocking me because I don't intend to come back.

Pleased to hear it.

There are no guarantees with termination. Just because you have a mental health issue does not mean that you will be 'haunted by an abortion forever' . In my experience it's all about understanding what decision you are making and WHY you are making it. Those with regrets are normally those who make the decision to suit society's or other people's agendas .
I had a termination at 18 (simple contraceptive accident) and 24 (much more traumatic) on each occasion I had the time to talk it through and make my own decision. I have never regretted either of them despite going on to give birth to 3 children. It was right for the time and the situation.

don't bother blocking me because I don't intend to come back.

To quote an MN favourite of old: Off you fuck, cunty chops!

OP you've gotta do what you've gotta do. I've been there. It was a terribly tough decision but undeniably the right one. It doesn't haunt me and it's not a stone in my heart but I do think about it and inevitably there is a sadness that sometimes comes to visit. But the reality is that it was the right choice for DH and I, sad as it was. I regret we had to do it but I don't regret doing it because the impact on continuing with the pregnancy would have been too difficult.

I wish you strength and love. Have faith in a brighter day and a better time. Focus on getting well.

OP, there is a Pregnancy Choices board if you want to ask MN to move this there? Posters tend to be a lot more supportive.

No one can tell you what is the right choice for all your family at the moment. I can share that personally I terminated an unplanned pregnancy between DD and DS because I just knew the time wasn't right and I wouldn't cope, even though I suspected I wanted another child at some point. So again, while this is purely my experience, I have not regretted it for a second because it was the right thing to do at that time for the child I already had. However, as others have shared, other people have kept their unplanned pregnancy and everything has been great for them.

Take your time. You can call Marie Stopes or BPAS for advice even if termination is only a 1% thought in your mind at the moment.

It's a huge shock and sometimes that shock alone makes it very hard to know how you feel and what decision you want to make. You have plenty of time. Please talk to some professionals and have a really good think about what you would like to do now x

You're so welcome. I do honestly think my kids saved me though. I was on a very very dark path, and falling pregnant with my first, it gave me the strength I needed to fight for a normal life. It worked. Some days I make it through the day without having any issues and you wouldn't know I have a serious mental health diagnosis. Other days are hard. But I've learned to be so kind to myself and that's the only way I can be a good parent to my kids. And I know that if it came to it, having an abortion would most likely be the right choice for my family right now.

One thing I will say. You are pregnant very soon after having a baby. Your kids would be very close in age. Mine are 3.5 and 1 and play together most of the time really really well. It's no guarantee obviously, but usually kids that close will play together pretty well from about 7-8 months. That makes things easier for me as they entertain each other!

Hi OP. Firstly, be kind to yourself. You are doing an amazing job. BPD is a fucker of a condition and to be doing all you are doing is amazing.

Secondly - see if you can get in touch with your HV for a postnatal mental health nurse. I had one until my DS was 1 year old. I had hideous anxiety afterwards and was allocated one because I was likely to get PND (I did) and honestly, just having her there helped. It's not too late and whatever you decide with your current pregnancy, you need that support network there. I too had absolutely fucking awful experience with MH services but for some reason, peri and post natal MH care was a lot better, perhaps because of the fact a child was involved.

Thirdly - terminations are tough but they are recoverable from. Take your time - your pregnancy is clearly in the early stages and whilst the further you go, the harder you may feel about terminating, your options are there. If you feel it would have a really detrimental impact on your MH to have another child, please know it's for the right reasons. You being stable and happy is of utmost importance irrespective of whether you have one or two or eighty children. How you balance that is up to you. Marie Stopes have a counsellor you can talk to for as many sessions as you need and they at no point push you to make a decision either way, despite being attached to the clinic. Please do not feel guilty for doing something that considers both you and your child's health.

DP wise - I stand by the fact that I feel that a decision of this magnitude should always consider the other parties choice but not be limited to if that makes sense. He cannot force you to have a termination anymore than he can force you to be pregnant against your will. But, do try and consider your feelings first and foremost - you'll be pregnant, not he, and you will inevitably be responsible for the childcare of both children should you progress with the pregnancy.

I had a small scare when DS was 5 months old too - I think it was a faulty test and a weird period but I know my mind was in a total tailspin and I didn't know what to do. DP didn't want anymore (and has since had vasectomy) and I was in the throes of PND. It was a tough time and it was either a fault test or I had a chemical (never worked out which) and I cannot imagine how it feels for you with BPD on top of what you're experiencing.

We are here for you to talk it out. Whatever decision you make we will be here

I registered on here literally a week ago I wish I'd hadn't.it is truly a shameless place.nyway, don't bother blocking me because I don't intend to come back.

Off you fuck then deary. MN isn't for you.

OP, I suggest asking for this to be moved or posting again in the pregnancy choices forum. You’ll find a lot of people there who have been or are in a similar situation to you. I’ve been there, I’ve had that awful decision to make. Ultimately it was decided for me and I went ahead with termination despite not wanting to, but it’s entirely up to you. You won’t really know how it’ll affect you until it’s done unfortunately. I did post earlier with my personal experience but it’s not gospel and everyone is different. If you really aren’t in a position to keep the baby then don’t. Having an abortion can be a dreadful thing mentally, yes. But so can having a baby that you can’t cope with. It’s ultimately down to which “risk” you’re willing to take. Just don’t feel pressured either way. Abortions are legal here for a reason and this is one of them; for women who know they are not in the right place to have a baby right now. I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do