Shit, shit, SHIT. Is this positive? :(

[ThatHippyDippyShit]

Because if it is I'm fucked.

He may surprise you. You need to share your news with him and talk it through let him know that no decisions have been made and you will make them together. I hope your ok

Contraception is not solely your responsibility. If your dp didn't want you pregnant then he knew what he could do about it. Since he didn't do anything about it he is clearly not that bothered.

Don't be embarrassed, these things happen. Sorry you're dealing with this on your own right now though. Speak to him, he may take it better than you think, and if not remind him you're equally responsible!
It may be a total blessing in disguise- close age gap in the future?
Wishing you all the best whatever you decide to do.

My dh was shit when we had an unexpected pregnancy but quickly got over it. My sisters got 14 months in between her two, they get on brilliantly and she got all the nappies and sleepless nights out the way in one big chunk rather than having to go back to it a few years later.

You have options though. If you have no one to talk to then you are best just telling dh. There's no point being stressed and having the worry of telling him hanging over you. He may react better now because you have your baby and his opinions changed.

I just want to say this: if you decide that actually you don't want to do the baby thing again right now, a termination is really not that bad, either physically or emotionally. It's not fun, no, but most people who choose it freely get through it fine and don't regret it.

If you feel you want this baby you will find a way to have it. But if you decide you don't you can do that too. A termination is not the catastrophe it's often painted as.

I had a termination when my baby was 6 months old. I was 6 weeks pregnant.

I don't regret it at all. It was no worse than a bad period, I do not feel emotional about it and it was 100% the right thing to do.

You do have options

A termination is not the catastrophe it's often painted as.

Completely agree with this.

DP loves DD and is great with her. When we spoke about the scenario of an unplanned pregnancy he said the only problem would be me, not another baby.

I have had BPD, depression and anxiety since I met him and have found motherhood really difficult and times and he has had to pick up the pieces. I've had a particularly bad couple of weeks recently and have been relieving the stress by punching myself in the head.

I know an abortion is the sensible thing to do for everyone.

It's going haunt me for the rest of my life though.

OP are you having any support for your depression and anxiety? You sound like you desperately need it.

Sorry you are going through this.

Is your DH supportive? Are you getting enough sleep? It is SO important when you have BPD to prioritise your sleep.

It's going haunt me for the rest of my life though.

You honestly can't know that. I really thought that before I did it too.

Now I never think about it, and when I do it isn't with regret or guilt.

I had almost the exact thing when my little boy was 6months. I was a few days late so tested and was absolutely shocked and devastated to see a positive.

It took me a while to tell my husband and by that time I had made up my mind that I wouldn’t keep it as it was too much for us physically and emotionally. I had made a GP appointment to do so!

When I eventually told him (I had burst into tears when talking about the future). He was shocked yes but actually he said he was happy and that of course we would keep it and just make it work - I also thought he’d be angry so they can surprise you!!

Unfortunately...just as I had got my head around the idea a week later and was starting to look forward to a new baby I had a miscarriage - I think all the stress and sleep deprivation hadn’t helped! It was devastating but I was accepting of it as knew it wasn’t meant to be this time!

No advice...just wanted to wish you good luck whatever you decide!

Umm you've had depression, anxiety SINCE you met your DP? Is he the trigger? And he said you'd be the problem with a new baby? He sounds very unpleasant OP. Are you ok with him? Do you have access to money etc?

My youngest two are 14 months apart, because we chose that. It's really not as bad as you think x

Maybe not for you debbs ?

DP isn't the cause of my MH problems, they're due to multiple traumatic events growing up. He's been very supportive with trying to help me overcome them over the years. He even quit work to become my carer a couple of years ago after a suicide attempt. He was just about to start looking for work again.

I struggle with just one baby, as much as I'd like to manage with two, there's no hope if I'm struggling now.

How far along do you think you might be OP? The line is faint so if only by a few weeks, a termination wouldn't be as awful as you think. And that is 100% your decision. Don't even bring it to the table if you don't want to do it but I think the stigma attached is overwhelming and you shouldn't feel ashamed if that's the decision you come to.

. Could the recent bad couple of weeks be to do with pregnancy hormones? Could you go and see your gp?

Hi OP,

I fell pregnant again when my DS was only 3 months old so I know how you are feeling right now. DS has reflux and cried constantly, I had PND and also cried constantly so another baby seemed like the worst thing that could happen, I really did think about abortion a lot but decided against it in the end.

If you would like to chat that please feel free to PM me x

I was EBF on my DD1 and 6 months after she was born I got pregnant again. It was the best thing that could have happened . They have grown up together and been such great company , they were in successive years in school so it was all very much easier to handle the school run etc. I so hope this goes well for you OP

Are you getting support for your MH?

I haven't got any good advice, I'm sorry, but I couldn't not offer you an ear and a hand-hold at least.

Please talk to someone. Doctor? Counsellor? Do you have someone you see for your health issues that you can take this to?

It's going haunt me for the rest of my life though.

It may. It is equally possible that you never forget it and are sad it happened but accept that it was the right decision. Or that you feel overwhelming relief. Or a mixture of these. There really isn't a correct or even predictable reaction.

Not receiving any professional help for my MH, the "help" I've been given in the past was abominable and I don't want to go back down that road for fear of it making things worse again.

When should I test again? My first test I did with DD had such a strong second line, I'm still not convinced with this one

Test again in a few days. In the meantime how about finding a pregnancy counselling service and arranging to speak to them - you don't need to decide anything right now and you don't have to wait til you are 100% certain to start making an appointment.