TTC #2 (November BFPs)

[Cariad2014]

If anyone is ttc2 and expecting their AF/ BFP in November then this thread is for you.

Let’s all give ourselves a fabulous excuse not to drink at Christmas!

My stats are as follows:

Age: 35
DS: 2 (in late November)
Cycle: 13 (lucky for some?!?!) I have short cycles so this is month 11 (yawn!)
AF/ BFP due: 2 November

It’s so tough isn’t it Mynameis. One of the books I’m reading about IVF has a chapter in it on secondary infertility. It makes the point that in some ways secondary infertility can be harder than primary infertility because you end up being surrounded by pregnancy and families with multiple children with no way of avoiding it. I can definitely identify with this.

It also describes the longing for another child a bit like walking around with a dark cloud above your head, which is precisely how I feel. There’s this low lying sadness that I know I won’t shake off unless I get pregnant or finally come to terms with the fact that we are going to be a family of three.

cariad I can totally understand the black cloud and low lying sadness. I know as well that it isn’t going to go away, even if we accept that we will be a family of three I think that sadness is going to take a long time to get over, I guess it would be grieving the life we expected to have. I know we have a ways to go before we get there but I do know we couldn’t TTC for 6 years like last time.

Mynameis - I definitely don’t have it in me to ttc for years and years. I am far too impatient and obsessive about it all - it’s dominated much of my non-work related thoughts this year; and much of my recent conversations with DH. It simply wouldn’t be healthy or indeed fair on DS to carry on like this indefinitely. I definitely don’t see us ttcing into the next decade, so if I’m not upduffed by the time DS is 4 at the end of 2019 I think I’ll be hanging up my ttc coat and shoes for good.

I shall be keeping everything crossed that you get your BFP very very soon. Xxx

Morning all,

Going back to some things mentioned that I meant to comment on and never found time.....

Late summer babies: yes, never wanted one as we are both teachers and it was important to us to have a baby born near the start of the academic year. We were lucky and our first was (September). This time I would have preferred at least not after May/June, but now - same as others - I am desperate and don’t care!! Any baby, any birth date preferable to none at all!!!! Beggars can’t be choosers, as they say......

Age gaps: ideally wanted 18 months to 2 years gap. Would have loved a small one / two born close together. Would have loved to have avoided being swamped in nappies still by my early forties....! But now am looking at a 3 year gap. Again, as others have said, beggars can’t be choosers and now I will be happy with anything.

Agnus castus: have been on this for months. Used it for my first two. Found it did regulate my cycle and lengthen my luteal phase (but only slightly, and of course I don’t have evidence for this - could have been other factors at play). Used to have 10-11 days luteal phase and now it’s usually 12. I do get spotting though (apart from last month...?!), so not sure if this could be caused by AC. I say try it if you want. For me I prefer to be on it than not, because I feel I am least trying to do something proactive about the situation and taking control (over something I have pretty much no control over, unfortunately....)

Such are the predicaments of secondary infertility....

Good luck all; everything on here rings so true for me. Glad I have this place to share xxx

*first too, not two!!

It’s comforting to know that others are in the same boat Lopey even though it’s utterly rubbish. I shall be keeping everything that you get that elusive BFP very very soon.

Both my mum and MIL are teachers and are obsessed with birthdays and the school year.

I almost died of shame at a baby class last Summer when my Mum struck up a conversation with the heavily pregnant teacher about her due date and when she heard it was August remarked “oh, so you’re having a Summer holiday baby”. The teacher’s response, along the lines of “if only we could all plan these things”, and the fact that she already had a 4 year old, made me want the ground to swallow me up!

HOnestly the way I am feeling right now I would take twins triplets or quads! I certainly couldn’t cope with twins

Cupcakes - I know how you feel. The rollercoaster I’ve experienced when ttc both times around has made me quite keen on twins (assuming of course I had a healthy pregnancy). It would be a real f*%$ you to the woes of infertility. DH was quite keen on 3 (until we started ttc DS).... There is NO way on earth I’m ever ttcing again after this, so whatever happens this time around, our family will be complete.

I’ve never been someone to be able to just fall pregnant, my friends have all been like oh we just fell pregnant -how!!!!
One of my friends went away for a week and forgot her pill came back pregnant... cheers!!! Even with my first it took a while and wasn’t immediately- was quicker than this time though hence why I’m so down! Even family are like oh we thought you would have another by now? Thanks really helpful - not

@Cupcakesandlove I was that lucky bitch with DS, came off pill in September, TTC in January, preggers In February...thought it would be simple again but this time round, 1 miscarriage and onto cycle 9!

@rhibee oh don’t, can you share the secret I’m sure I’m the only
One of my friends on here and who checks apps and has opks!maybe I should be carefree?? I think I get myself so worked up over it all! I’m on cycle 10, cycle 11 when af shows up. Hang in there we will get the happy ending x

Can anyone help me interpret a clear blue test? I took one yesterday and one this morning. Both have the vertical line but I’m worried it’s not positive as it doesn’t look like any of the example pictures in the leaflet. I know everyone on here is a massive expert so hoping someone can help!

AF due weds so a few days early still

@penny that’s positive, your pregnant all the best for a happy and healthy 9 Months x

Ahhh! Thanks @Cupcakesandlove, I didn’t want to convince myself without getting an extra opinion!

Best of luck to everyone still waiting this month, really hope there are more November BFPs to come xx

lopey, cariad, cupcakes I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels like this. I’ve never just ‘got pregnant’ it’s always been a mission.

I’d also love multiples, I’ve wanted a big family for as long as I can remember but unless we do get twins or more I know two will be it. I guess it’s funny how life works out sometimes, all the best laid plans....

We will all get there, slower than we wanted but good things come to those who wait. So by that we’re all in for good sleepers, excellent eaters and none moody teenagers 😂

It’s tough isn’t it Mynameis. I’ve lost count of the number of people I know who struggled to get to DC1 but got pregnant incredibly quickly second time round. Whilst I’m delighted for them all on an individual level, I can’t help but feel gutted that it didn’t happen to us... My confidence and body image have definitely taken a knock as a result.

DS is definitely a very good sleeper but the terrible twos appear to have hit early so I suspect that my punishment for getting a decent amount of sleep since he was born is about to commence! 😂

Thanks June; I really like this group!

BTW, has anyone heard of using / tried a small amount (75 or 81 mg) dispersible aspirin as an aid to implantation??

Somehow I read it yesterday and am now thinking, how did I miss this???!! Apparently it can help to thicken endometrial lining, better preparing it for pregnancy, and improve blood supply to the uterus. (Of course this could all be a pile of bullshit as I did read it on the internet.....)

I think my lining may not be thick enough or good enough to sustain a pregnancy as I only have really light, short periods (2 days, both extremely light bleeding). And it would explain why despite good timing and regular cycles I can’t get upsides: the egg just never implants....

I am going to try it, as I feel, what do I have to lose? Shouldn’t be any side effects as lots of people use it daily in this small dose to help prevent stroke or heart attack.

It’s probably a bit late this month as I’m 6 dpo today (can feel that lining slipping away already, sob.....), but might improve things for next month, no?!

Anyone heard of this at all or am I just going mad or a fool to try?!! X

Oh yes terrible twos have hit hard here already, DD might look like her Dad but she has my quick temper and boy do we know it!!! It’s my penance for her being such a good baby and for me being such a bad teenager!

@lopey I know lots of people take ‘baby aspirin’ which I think is the same thing. I agree at this point it’s probably worth a try.

Saying that my periods are really light. Last 3 days and are only medium flow on day 2 then a slim, small pad is enough for the days either side, and my lining was fine when I had my pelvic scan. So it’s not necessarily an indication of a bad lining.

Hello, can I join too? My injection ran out in August and I had a period 6 weeks ago. I’m definitely not feeling myself but just had a BFN so feeling pretty gutted but not at all surprised. Hopefully I can get my BFP this month. I’m regretting the injection thoroughly - I only had it so I could forget about babies after a missed mc September last year and an early mc in December. I decided in March I needed to not think about it for a bit but I’m wishing I never did now.

Phew June that’s really good to know about your lining and light periods....I hope I am the same. I am due for a pelvic scan after first blood tests (coming up soon), and then pelvic examination. Hope it comes back ok.

Welcome Littlemiss. Sorry to hear about your losses and I can really see why you would want a break from all this for a while.... TCC is very emotionally draining.

Good luck off the injection and hope things work out for you. We need more BFPs on this thread!! X

Afternoon everyone.

Welcome Littlemiss - I totally understand why you'd want a break too. I had four MCs before I conceived my son and it was a rollercoaster of joy and misery. We'd get pregnant, yippee, we'd lose it, we'd try again, we'd get pregnant, we'd lose it... Sometimes you just need to press pause for a bit. For yourself but also for your relationship. Hope you are ok. Fingers crossed for your BFP this month!

LopeyLopez - No I haven't heard about aspirin. I wonder what the science is? I'd love to know? When I fell pregnant with my son my consultant put me on a number of drugs to support the pregnancy but he never mentioned aspirin before conceiving?

pennyw85 CONGRATS! Good luck for a healthy happy pregnancy! Amazing news.

I have been reading all your messages but it is hard to keep up! So would everyone mind giving us all an update on where you are and when you can test? It's good to know who is next to test.

So here's goes for mine...

CD 19
8 days away from testing
Symptoms? Very severe bloating, increased appetite, tiredness.

By this stage in my last pregnancy, I had lots of creamy CM, my cervix was high and soft, and I had sore nipples. I don't have any of that this time so I am thinking I may be out. But fingers crossed...

What stage is everyone else at?

xx

I’m having cramps and af is due on Friday. Count me out again I honestly give up!
All the best to all of you I’m thinking of taking a break from the forums now. I hope when I return you all have bundles of joy growing xxxx

@lopey yes heard of aspiring

I got a bfn and although af not due til fri am now getting all the symptoms. I'm only on cycle 2/3 but already 42.5 and can't try this month. Feeling glum about it today and whether it will ever happen.