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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Worried il never have children ..doctor won't help.

61 replies

Lousa31 · 08/09/2017 10:42

I'm 31 nearly 32 and for the past 4 months have tried to get pregnant.
I'm a massive healthy anxiety worrier.
I went back and forwards to the doctor who told me to try for a year etc.
Finally a doctor agreed to run some tests.
She did blood tests day 3/21 etc and they came back fine so she reluctantly sent me for a pelvic ultrasound.
That came back fine and yesterday I went to talk about things and she said nothing on the ultrasound was wrong and no reason to believe I had any issues but I've been reading online that it doesn't show endometriosis or if your tubes are blocked.
So it's not much use.
The doctor won't give me a laparoscopy to look for endo and I asked about the test where they inject dye into you to check for blockages but she said no.
I'm just worried that whatever is stopping me getting pregnant is being missed.
My periods are every 29 days and the ultrasound showed I was about to ovulate from my right ovary.
I just don't know what to do now.

OP posts:

Aridane · 08/09/2017 10:44

Bloody hell, OP - it's only been 4 months. I think it's your health anxiety that needs attention, not your fertility. And I mean this in the nicest possible way.

BackieJerkhart · 08/09/2017 10:45

Umm you are massively jumping the gun! You have been trying for 4 months!! That's no time at all. You realise all those tests and investigations cost the NHS a lot of money don't you??

Ttbb · 08/09/2017 10:46

You can always pay to have the tests done privately if you want them.

Afreshstartplease · 08/09/2017 10:46

Stressing yourself out wont help op

Aridane · 08/09/2017 10:49

Not sure private health will carry out invasive testing when it would be premature to do so

LeChatSauvage · 08/09/2017 10:51

This may sound a bit harsh but you are wasting your poor doctor's time and NHS money. There are women who've been trying for four years not four months. Please let the resources go to helping them. I understand you may have anxiety, but try to think of others. They suggest you give it a year for a reason - it's very common to take a year. In fact some CCGs will make you wait two years before doing tests if you're under 35. In the nicest possible way, you need to get a grip.

Merida83 · 08/09/2017 10:52

I can't believe you got your GP to do any tests after only 4 months.
NHS guidelines are after 12 continuous months then they will consider it.
4 months of ttc is nothing at all for even the healthiest most fertile types. I honestly think you are a long way off having to worry. (Tho trust me I know how hard it is each month with AF arrives).

But if you are keen to get pregnant asap try using fertility apps, ovulation kits, track your temp and even try using lubrication aimed at helping to conceive like preseed or conceive plus.

(Personal reccomendation try the sperm meets the egg plan, can be found online and down loaded for free!)

But mostly (as hard as it is) just try to relax and enjoy yourself - it helps!

chronicleink · 08/09/2017 10:54

You need to be trying for 2 years before those tests would be relevant. Get some ovulation tests and start using them, sort the timing out. Four month is nothing. If anything get your partner's sperm count checked privately, that's the cheapest thing at this point. But your Doctor won't to that, you'll have to go private. BECAUSE it's TOO early!

Afreshstartplease · 08/09/2017 10:55

You perhaps need to see someone about your anxiety and address that first

StormTreader · 08/09/2017 10:56

4 months is NOTHING, you need to stop worrying.

PaintingOwls · 08/09/2017 11:00

In the gentlest possible way, how are you going to cope with pregnancy, OP, if you're like this after 4 (!!) months of TTC? I think you need to look at your anxiety first, as a priority.

peachybeachy · 08/09/2017 11:02

4 months is nothing. possibly your anxiety is contributing to you not getting pregnant.

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 08/09/2017 11:10

The problem isn't your fertility, which I'm not even going to address. The problem is your health anxiety. Your doctor really shouldn't have sent you for those tests - not only was it a waste of time and money, but it's now predictably fed and further entrenched the anxiety.

You need to seek counselling and support for the health anxiety, and to develop strategies to manage it yourself without seeking reassurance through doctors and tests.

TheNoseyProject · 08/09/2017 11:14

Op go to the drs and talk about your health anxiety. With zero problems it can take a year to conceive. You need to get your health anxiety under control before you have kids because at best you'll be double as worried and at worst you'll hand your issues in to them or put them through a lot of unevessary procedures on no evidence at all just as you have done to yourself.

Will0w · 08/09/2017 11:17

Four months is well within normal timeframes. It's insulting to those genuinely suffering from infertility to post on these boards. You've had the basic tests and you need to concentrate on the things within your control now. If you had endometriosis you would have most likely already needed to see your GP due to pain and other complications.

You need help with your anxiety first and foremost. It is especially important as pregancy is also a very nervous time in the early days and beyond, and you don't sound very well equipped to deal with that either.

Figgygal · 08/09/2017 11:20

I get it I really do I am the least anxious person in the world and when ds was conceived in month 2 at 30 when at 34 we tried for dc2 and it wasn't happening I was freaking out...id left it too late, there was something wrong etc dc was conceived on cycle 10 I think and that was after I did have some blood tests which were showing I wasn't ovulating every month which was pretty worrying. In hindsight I was influenced by all these anomalous stories of getting pg first time and how lucky we had been with dc1. 4 months really is no time.

Step away from dr google try to relax concentrate on diet and lifestyle and making your body as healthy as possible it will all help

SugarMiceInTheRain · 08/09/2017 11:24

Just want to reiterate what others said. They will only start investigations after 12 months of ttc. You do need to deal with your health anxiety though as it'll go through the roof when you do get pregnant if you don't get a handle on it now.

Original poster

Lousa31 · 08/09/2017 11:26

I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.
I am getting counselling for my anxiety.
I've had so many other tests..hearing tests,ecg,colonoscopy,holter monitor,heart scan
The reassurance never lasts long ..
Now because I want a baby so much I'm convinced even now that I must have a problem

OP posts:

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 08/09/2017 11:42

I'm not sure this is the right time for you to be TTC to be honest. I would suggest putting it on hold for a few months and really working on managing your anxiety without going for tests or scans.

Blackcatonthesofa · 08/09/2017 12:04

What Tiramisu says. It's not nice to have a mum with anxiety problems. Maybe you should get some coping skills first. You have lots of time left to ttc. 4 months is nothing, there is no reason to worry right now. Take care

Original poster

Lousa31 · 08/09/2017 12:05

I can't get my head around the fact if your a healthy person and have sex at correct time why I wouldn't be getting pregnant in 4 months.

OP posts:

Ginfernal · 08/09/2017 12:08

it can take up to TWO YEARS for a couple with NO FERTILITY PROBLEMS to fall pregnant. Please go and use CBT or other help for your anxiety.

BackieJerkhart · 08/09/2017 12:08

OP, I don't wish to increase your stress levels but you do realise it takes two people to create a pregnancy? Your health may be top notch but if there is an issue conceiveing (far too early to tell btw) it could be due to your partner's sperm count or his health. Does he know you are as anxious as you are and putting all this responsibility in your own health?

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 08/09/2017 12:10

Okay, so don't get your head around it. But accept it, and that that's how ttc works - it isn't in your control and there's a large element of chance. Nobody's going to give a reason that satisfies you, because that's not how anxiety works. You will have to learn to ride out the anxiety and either use self-management strategies to reduce it, or just let it peak and decline. Which it will. Seeking reassurance just lands you in an unproductive vicious cycle.

Are you discussing ttc in your counselling?

Ginfernal · 08/09/2017 12:27

Because there is only a 1 in 4 chance every month?

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