Worried il never have children ..doctor won't help.

[Lousa31]

I'm 31 nearly 32 and for the past 4 months have tried to get pregnant.
I'm a massive healthy anxiety worrier.
I went back and forwards to the doctor who told me to try for a year etc.
Finally a doctor agreed to run some tests.
She did blood tests day 3/21 etc and they came back fine so she reluctantly sent me for a pelvic ultrasound.
That came back fine and yesterday I went to talk about things and she said nothing on the ultrasound was wrong and no reason to believe I had any issues but I've been reading online that it doesn't show endometriosis or if your tubes are blocked.
So it's not much use.
The doctor won't give me a laparoscopy to look for endo and I asked about the test where they inject dye into you to check for blockages but she said no.
I'm just worried that whatever is stopping me getting pregnant is being missed.
My periods are every 29 days and the ultrasound showed I was about to ovulate from my right ovary.
I just don't know what to do now.

I think you need to look at the anxiety issue first OP.

I have no health anxiety at all, took 8 months to conceive. However I'm now 8 weeks pregnant and panicking a lot about everything that could go wrong. And I started off with no anxiety issues at all... I'm not sure how you're going to cope once you do conceive to be honest.

Please stop wasting NHS money.

In the nicest possible way (and from someone TTC for a year now) please STOP TTC and focus on getting your anxiety under control. This is extremely important, not only for your own mental health but also for your future children. I say this as my DH suffered badly and it put a constant worry into his head. Once you become pregnant there will be lots of worries and this will only amplify your stress. Please, get help and be responsible, it's very important you are healthy in your body and mind.

Ps. Please stop thinking 4 months is any time. It's not. Give it a few years. That's normal.

Hey OP, lots of food for thought here! Up thread you said you couldn't get your head around not conceiving if you do it as the right point in the month. Well one reason could be that stress is one of the top enemies of conceiving. The human body is clever and if you are in a high stress fight or flight mode you are much less likely to get pregnant as your body will judge it not safe to do so.

Hope you're feeling a bit better!

Okay enough of the condescension. I have the same issue as the OP. I'm a mum. I coped with childbirth and pregnancy just fine, and there's no need to feel sorry for children of "mothers with mental health issues". If we could have less of the patronising comments towards people with anxiety that'd be great.

Well one reason could be that stress is one of the top enemies of conceiving. The human body is clever and if you are in a high stress fight or flight mode you are much less likely to get pregnant as your body will judge it not safe to do so.

Utter bollocks. That kind of advice (relax and you'll get pregnant) is the bane of people trying to conceive's lives.

Op everyone is right-four months isn't long. I hope it works out for you and good luck with seeking help for your anxiety.

While 'relax and you'll get pregnant' is utter tosh and a horrible thing to even imply to somebody desperate to conceive, 'stress and you'll make conception less likely' is true.

Fertility is a lottery.
None of us know what our fertility is like until we try to use it.

Having said that 4 months is not a long time trying by any measure.

OP on the nicest possible way, I don't think now is a good time to be ttc. You clearly need help with your anxiety and munchaussens and bring pregnant will only escalate things.

No judgment here about not bring ready to try to conceive - you know better than anyone here. Plus, no-one's ever really ready.

So. Some facts.

A laparoscopy will waste at least one cycle. Medical intervention generally makes it more difficult to conceive, not easier.

There's a 20% chance of conceiving each time. You need fertilisation (tricky) and implantation (also tricky). At 4 cycles, you have only just broken the barrier for being more likely pregnant than not i.e. more than 50%.

Those odds suck. Only way to improve them is to keep trying. Chin up. You've got this.

4 months is no time at all. Some people take months and months to conceive.
If you are so anxious I would reconsider starting a family right now anyway. If you're so stressed and demanding lots of tests how will you cope when pg or when a baby arrives? Will you be wanting a scan a week just in case?

How did you manage to get a scan so far OP?
When I was referred for mine (and I do have problems, premature menopause, starting mid 30s - of your bloods were fine this isn't a problem you have) it took 2 months from referral to scan, and that was with Dr putting a rush on it. And another week for report to come back, you'd have to have been pushing for tests when you didn't concieve first month! Maybe I've waited so long for all the invasive tests etc I've been through because of someone like you demanding tests and answers when they don't concieve first month.

As someone who has struggled, and had miscarriages along the way our only hope now is ivf, I find your flapping and hand wringing at 4 months bloody insulting and insensitive.
For what it's worth the delays in those tests, telling us we now need ivf mean that we will have to fund privately as I won't get far enough up the list by my 40th birthday!