October Bus - More treats than tricks please!

[HolyShmoly]

I'm off the September Bus before it even leaves the station and thanks to my longer cycle I thought I'd start the October page.

TTC #1
Cycle #3
BFP due October 4th

@Merrz I totally agree! AF was a day late this morning and I was so all over the place yesterday about plans. Oh well, back on hold again this month.

I’m determined not to put my life on hold.

Currently planning ski trips for Feb. If I’m pregnant, I’ll see how much skiing I feel like doing.

I also tried to shelter DH from the cycle, but it was like fighting the tide and made me miserable. Now I’ve got his buy-in, it feels like sharing the burden. It also helps him understand why I’m feeling depressed during the TWW

Completely get what all of you are saying. It's hard feeling like I can't plan anything. We are constantly saying 'if we are not pregnant we will do this' or 'if we are pregnant we can do that'. I'm also staying in a job I'm not 100% happy with as I can't afford to take unpaid maternity. I feel like our lives are on hold and we are only on cycle 3!

I got pretty upset after my last AF as I actually thought I was pregnant and confided how I felt to my DH. Turns out he feels the same as me (disappointed and worried) so I'm glad I did. We decided that we can't keep going on like this indefinitely as it's a lot of pressure on both of us so if we don't ge a BFP before Christmas we will go for private fertility tests afterwards.

I think I would rather know if it's not going to happen than spend months/years worrying and I already feel better now there is a plan/timeframe involved and I hope we will be strong enough to move forward whatever the result

Sending baby dust to you all xx

Sorry to those who have had AF :(

Does anyone else get ovulation pains? It could be something else entirely (obviously Dr. Google has diagnosed me with an ovarian cyst/endometriosis) but I have had nasty period like cramps for two days. Today is CD 16...

Fully agree with not putting your life on hold!

I’m due af around this weekend, and Friday I have a job interview! It was a difficult decision as to wether to even apply but my current hours are rubbish, whereas this job is the ultimate hours for any parent (I have two dc already)

I may not even get it, but I will be faced with the dilemma of what do I do if I am offered the job as I’m sure by the time I’ll know either way if I’m pregnant this month or not!

Nightmare

@81Josie I did exactly the same, all normal and now doing ovulation tracking but if it hasn't happened by a year may end up thinking about treatment options. My husband's actually abroad for a bit so contemplating hanging on until two years and trying the NHS route... never expected this and now my sister's getting married (doesn't know we're TTC, nobody in the family does) and planning to get pregnant immediately which I know would make me very sad. Almost can't believe we're in this situation!

Girls I'm cracking I swore this cycle I would wait until af was due before testing which is 3rd Oct. But I can't wait lol just bought afew cheapies and am going to start testing on Friday, which is 5 days early. Even if I get a Bfn at least I'll feel like I'm doing something. All this waiting around is driving me mad. Gonna keep my frer for Mon/ Tue. Don't want to waste it by testing too early.

Fingers crossed for everyone

Girls I'm cracking I swore this cycle I would wait until af was due before testing which is 3rd Oct. But I can't wait lol just bought afew cheapies and am going to start testing on Friday, which is 5 days early. Even if I get a Bfn at least I'll feel like I'm doing something. All this waiting around is driving me mad. Gonna keep my frer for Mon/ Tue. Don't want to waste it by testing too early.

Fingers crossed for everyone

Girls I'm cracking I swore this cycle I would wait until af was due before testing which is 3rd Oct. But I can't wait lol just bought afew cheapies and am going to start testing on Friday, which is 5 days early. Even if I get a Bfn at least I'll feel like I'm doing something. All this waiting around is driving me mad. Gonna keep my frer for Mon/ Tue. Don't want to waste it by testing too early.

Fingers crossed for everyone

Girls I'm cracking I swore this cycle I would wait until af was due before testing which is 3rd Oct. But I can't wait lol just bought afew cheapies and am going to start testing on Friday, which is 5 days early. Even if I get a Bfn at least I'll feel like I'm doing something. All this waiting around is driving me mad. Gonna keep my frer for Mon/ Tue. Don't want to waste it by testing too early.

Fingers crossed for everyone

Sorry don't know why that posted so many times and I don't know how to delete it

Thanks @poptart4 and @nimbleknitter - it's good to know how others handle it. I started with keeping DH in the dark but then decided it was better to tell him so I didn't feel that all the pressure was on me. Now I think it is pretty obvious as 7 years in I am not usually pushing him to DTD every day! I guess we just have to think of new ways to keep it interesting.

And I hear you all about it putting plans on hold. I would have moved jobs months ago if I didn't have the fear of unpaid maternity!! DH desperately wants to book a ski holiday this year too. We should probably go ahead and do it but if I am pregnant I would most likely not ski... so frustrating!

It's difficult isn't it, I really don't want to not make plans just in case, when we started TTC we were very relaxed about it all "it'll happen when it happens" but i feel like every BFN cycle i turn a little bit more mental about it all!
I generally like to plan/organise things in life (i'm the person who books the xmas night out in May haha) and i think it's the not knowing when/if that is hardest.
@81Josie I feel like i'm doing exactly the same re work and putting everything on hold, in my head at lease. I can definitely see how that must ease things a bit having a timescale now.

I know what you mean. We feel more pressured time wise as I'm 36 and my DH 40. I keep reading about how eggs deteriorate fast after 35 so I feel like it's a race against the clock

As for the when/if - statistically it is likely to happen within a year, but when within that 12 month period is anyone’s guess.

There is very little that you can’t do whilst pregnant- especially during the first few months (I mean, Serena Williams won the Australian Open pregnant!) so i figure - plan your year the way you normally would.

When you get pregnant (as 98% of us will) you can see how you feel. You might not want to scale that mountain, but then you can just at home instead. In the meantime - do all the things you want to do

The job situation is more difficult - but again, chances are you’ll be pregnant within 12 months.

If you can’t stick it out that long - move. If you can - best to wait

Maybe that's a good way to stay positive about it, think of it as I will most likely be pregnant within 12 months so instead of getting down every BFN think of it as being a month closer to the BFP
Very true also about not being able to do much in early pregnancy anyway, just need to convince my over thinking mind

Exactly! I’m trying to convince myself that testing each month makes it harder - better to just wait and see if/when period turns up.

But when that progesterone depression wave hits, I really need to know, so I know whether I can drink and eat my body weight in cheese.

Interestingly - I feel so much better today. No PMS (despite feeling like dog sh*t yesterday). Usually this only happens when period starts (and I’d be due a migraine by now)

Thanks @NimbleKnitter that's really great advice and it's amazing to think that in 12 months 98% of us will be wondering what the fuss was about. It's amazing how quickly (8 weeks to be precise!) I've gone from 'let's just see what happens' to 'OMG why isn't this happening???'

All good signs for you @NimbleKnitter. It's amazing how the process makes you so much more aware of your body

No idea what it means (negative test this morning so pretty sure I’m out for this cycle) but if it means PMS is less of a bitch, I’m game.

And yeah, whilst I heartily embrace your theory about wondering what the fuss is about, I’m going to make it my mission to educate women about TTC. Before starting I had no effing idea.

I genuinely thought you had like a week in which you could get pregnant. And that once you’d decided, you’d be grand. Total b*llocks. I wish people had talked about it more. There is absolutely nothing unusual in trying for 12 months.

It should be totally ok for someone to openly say they are trying. There’s this weird stigma about saying it’s taking a few months and that stigma shouldn’t exist. It taking months is NORMAL.

If anything, the cycle 1 women are the freaks! (In the nicest possible way, obvs x)

Retested opk this evening and definitely a negative now just hoping the Bd we had yesterday when I got the positive on the others was enough 😔

Hi everyone, been awol for the last few days as we went to a fancy hotel for our wedding anniversary. Took the dog and having her in the room was a bit of a cock blocker but I'm still in the TWW so not such an issue.
It was so nice that I didn't log anything on my apps and I've forgotten how many dpo I am.

Af is due in 2 or 3 days though. Did a cheapy test at lunch which was bfn BUT was dilute urine so the optimist in me is saying I'm not out yet.
However I feel blue today (could be post holiday blues) and now sat waiting for Pilates to start with a slight tell tale crampy twinge. Fuck it!

Sorry to hear so many AFs showing. That bitch needs to piss off!
I understand the life on hold thing - especially the job thing. I'm in that exact boat. My job is making me so miserable but I'm stuck

I might be just going nuts as I’m on cycle 7 after early mc but can anyone see anything? Only 10dpo and not fmu, and yes I have opened the test 🙈

I see it Emz!

I'm really trying not to put stuff off, as I figure you can tweak most plans to accommodate a bump. The only thing I've said is that if I'm not pregnant by January we're booking a holiday in the sun for the summer. So more of a treat at the six month point than anything. We haven't had a holiday in the sun since we got married almost 3 years ago!
I've started exercising a couple weeks ago and I haven't been holding back either, although I'll speak to the instructors once I do find out in preggo to check I'm ok with the classes I go to, etc.

Emz, I think I see a squinter, however I'm cross-eyed with exhaustion since my aforementioned class earlier, so I may not be the most reliable checker!