We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Hi Emvy. Let's hope your zen rubs off on us all  I feel very very very down tonight.

Congrats to Smurf! 8 days of positive opks led me to try a hpt & I got my second bfp. So fingers crossed to @Ekphrasis!!

Sorry I made you well up @summerfruitsquash, it's such a beautiful gesture.

Christ, I feel shit tonight. I'm too numb to cry.

Okay I'm such a geek obsesssed that I re did it all in FF and got this cover line

Oh grumpy that's much better! Does it's ovulation day prediction go with any other you've had? CM, opks etc?

No, according to OPK I ovulated 2 days later (5th july not 3rd). Got positive eve of 4th.

But temp is even higher this morning - however have had broken sleep so not reading too much into it

So I input my first positive OPK into ff and got this (also added this morning's temp) 🤞🏼

Congrats @Smurf...amazing news!!

You lot were busy last night, I can't remember my MN password so i cant get it on my phone. Always have to bloody get my laptop out haha

@Ekphrasis I also tested positive on an OPK when I was pregnant, my friend convinced me to traipse out and get a test and i was sceptical but turns out it picks up the same hormone!

@lime Hugs to you, AF didn't return for me til just over 10 weeks.

I went to see 2 different GP's one didn't want to know and said 'your period wont return while you are stressing' errrr sorry what?!! and the other finally sent me for the scan. They then confirmed i had a large cyst and PCOS...! The large cyst went by itself thank goodness but i am now on medication to try and help me ovulate (i have immature follicles)

Sorry didn't mean for that to turn into my life story!

Have a good day all x

What a busy thread! Huge congrats @Smurf123 !! And FX to those approaching test day.

@yellowfrontdoor I'm still licking my wounds over here. The sting is still real and I do feel crap most days. But, it is getting easier. We can do it!

@PumbletonWakeshaft I think the rule is to have stopped bleeding before dtd. Then go for it!

Smurf!!!!!!! best news ever! So so happy for you, I shed a happy tear when I read that.

Hang around as long as you want and please have the healthiest, dullest, most uneventful pregnancy the world has ever know

I'd stop the hay fever tabs or ask the pharmacist what's the best thing to take if you're desperate. But don't worry about anything that's bee, your baby will be living off its little egg sack for a while yet so you're all good.

(whispers quietly) are we on a roll again?

A friend sent me this www.glamour.com/story/actress-melissa-rauch-announces-pregnancy-and-reflects-on-miscarriage this morning. I was having a mild rant at her about how crappy I felt buying presents for my friend's newborn and she was so sweet. She loathes babies, thinks pregnancy is gross and never wants children, but she said all the right things and it was nice to offload. This piece really spoke to me. She reiterates my personal gripe about stuff "being meant to be", which gives me the fucking rage in a mc context.

Pumbleton, agree with bliss, once you're comfy and bleeding's stopped go for it. bliss, hope all went well with you x

I know what you mean about your feelings for your body, I hated losing weight as it reminded me my baby was gone and I felt ill and injured and defective. But I never feel sexier or more attractive than after a shag, so when you're ready go for it. Reclaim the intimacy and closeness.

Nice to see you again emvy, glad you're feeling so zen, I have times like that and it's lovely. Doesn't last long but I find happy distraction works too - mainly cooking for me

Good plan on dtd every other day and taking a relaxed approach.

Nice graphs grumble! Did you get different ov days on ovia and FF?

@AnneLovesGilbert I enjoyed that article. A lot of people said to me the first time 'oh, it just wasn't meant to be' 'these things happen for a reason' etc etc, I even trotted them out myself!
But now it's two. And those platitudes have dried up because, once is 'one of those things' but twice is harder to fathom.
If I'm honest, I'm blaming myself. I have baby aspirin ready for next time, I'm steeling myself for more disappointment.
I really hope we're all on a bfp roll I love seeing bfps on here, they make me feel hopeful. In real life, not so much!

I do too yellow, no one deserves it as much as the amazing resilient beautiful women on here.

I admired her honesty. And the lack of specifics didn't alter the tone of her experience. I can so relate to projectile crying on the third day after surgery. I had no idea what to expect and was torn between rolling with the incessant painful punches and trying to put a brave face on things. She doesn't mention her husband but I sent it to DH and he really liked it. I find other people's experiences really helpful and love a good news story after the sadness of loss. But I'm aware he might not want to be the poster husband for miscarriage so I don't want to spam him with everything I read!

I can see why people say it but I've found is spectacularly unhelpful. We couldn't have been in a better position to have our babies, healthy, happy, stable, alright jobs, nice new house, relationship in good knick. It's been a series of shitty stupid pointless pain and heartache and there's no reason for any of it. The lack of a medical reason is a mixed blessing and while you're wrong to blame yourself I'm not judging as I've been there with each one. It's completely natural. And it stems from wanting to know what happened so we can stop it happening again!

Where there's no reason it feels like anything's worth a shot, but I'm aware there's no silver bullet either. With my last one I started the clean but I still lost the baby and the doc said it was 95% chance of a chromosomal issue so nothing would have helped. But I know there was nothing wrong with my MMC one so if it wasn't her then it must have been me. Except I've had all the tests and they didn't find anything wrong....

And round and round I go! While I'm not pregnant it doesn't crop up that often. But if/when I am again I'm going to have to find some way of living in the moment as Melissa describes, being happy and grateful for another chance, not dying on the inside of crippling anxiety.

*clexane, not clean!

That's looking excellent Grumpy!

Thanks for sharing that Anne. It's so helpful to hear other people say they felt the same. I woke up this morning and laid there (having had a dream about being pregnant and it being another ectopic) thinking when did this become my life? Knowing that you'll only feel really happy again when you can have something that's totally out of your control to get.

I'm CD11 today, only DTD CD 7 and 8 so far. Got a positive OPK this morning after a nearly positive last night so need to get on it as I think I will likely ovulate on CD13. Bring on the days when I don't even know where I am in my cycle because I have a baby!

When I was on the pregnant after miscarriage thread, I did say to another poster that I was getting excited about my pregnancy, I wasn't trying to stop myself bonding with the baby etc, because I'd rather spend those few weeks being happy than constantly in a state of terror/anxiety. I still stand by that, but if I manage to get a bfp again, it'll be hard to practice what I preach.

I don't know about ov day because I got a strong positive OPK on the eve of 4th July but the CBFM that morning wasn't Peak yet - got that on morning of 5th July. Going by temp alone, I get 3 july o date in ff which I think must be wrong. Ff says 4th when given first positive OPK date and temps. If I tell it about the CBFM Peak on 5th, it then changes to 5th (CD19, late for me).

Argh. Anyway if 5th then I'll be 10dpo on this Saturday. 30 day cycle so af due Monday 17th

I switch from hopeful to hopeless every 5 mins. Cervix is low and hard with sticky cm which isn't a great sign. BFP in march was preceded by lots of milky cm

anne thanks for that article - I actually don't know who she is?!! But she says it really well, I was nodding along with all of it. Especially the bits about a sadness that wouldn't lift and people feeling you should be over it by now.

Just had a good cry after reading that article @AnneLovesGilbert thank you for sharing it. I utterly agree that the stigma needs to go. Now for a nap before night shifts.

She's an actress who's in the Big Bang Theory. She had a baby in that and didn't like being pregnant, can only imagine how hard that must have been for someone trying so hard to conceive and carry her own baby.

She said so many things I've either said or feelings I haven't expressed. I was touched she felt able to share it. Glad others have found it useful too x

Congratulations smurf

A definite bfp for me today too.

Now I'm going to read that article!

Fresas, that's awesome news about a strong BFP! Please please don't read the article!!!!!!!

She's pregnant now, which is lovely news, but it's pretty sad. Focus on what's good, with you, in this moment. Enjoy the experience as much as you can and look forward x

Yellow, I completely get what you're saying - I feel the same. I fully expect to now mc a third time, because two cannot just be bad luck,whereas when I'd just had the one mc I was pretty hopeful that it'd be second time lucky. That was until I fell pregnant the second time - I knew something wasn't right from the off and just knew I wasn't getting a baby out of it. I can't imagine how incredibly tough it must've been to see that little heartbeat and allow the fog to lift a little. Small steps towards mending - please be gentle 💕

Sorry you're getting confusing ovulation results grumpy, sorry I can't be of any help!

I know what you mean about the, "it's meant to be" rubbish. It's never more been meant to be than now! So frustrating!

Still smiling about your bfp's smurf and fresas x

You'll never guess. Something is going on downstairs!!!! I'm spotting. I've got cramps. I think it's my af finally!

I'm worried now that something else is up. I normally don't get spotting. It just comes on.

It's barely anything on a pad and is more like "pink tinged cm" when I wipe. Does that sound normal for a first af? Will it get heavier? It's certainly nothing like my regular periods before all this shit happened!

That's positive yellow! There's no such thing as normal I don't think. I've had a few things happen since I attempted baby making last year throughout my cycle. I used to get spotting at the end of each af but with the last few I've had torrential bleeding for a couple of days then nothing. Literally soaking a pad in the morning then nothing at lunchtime and all over.

Cramps and spotting sounds like it's here. And thank god, I know you've been waiting sodding ages. Funny how you become grateful for it when it's usually a drag or very disappointing! Fx you're getting back to normal x

Hey lime I never got spotting before either but the two periods I've had since the mmc I've had a couple of days spotting before my af and what was more annoying was the first cycle I had 5 bloody days of spotting after af which extended my cycle. Anyway this last was a bit better in terms of not too much spotting, and so even if I don't get pregnant this month I'm really hopeful I'll have a shorter cycle of more like 28 days which would make me feel slightly happier!!