We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Thank you for your replies, we've talked about it and I think we will just see what happens this month. Previous to this pregnancy I was temping and using ov sticks. I'll pack that in for a few months and I think we will just do what feels right.

@hometownunicorn please don't worry about upsetting me! I work in the medical field so I'm fully aware about the research and validity. Unfortunately DH isn't so much and he was struggling a bit before we caught, with thinking he was the problem etc so he feels like this is a golden opportunity.

I have basically stopped bleeding now after the miscarriage on Friday. Which I'm thankful for.

Eyes are so sore from the tears any advice for post crying soreness?

Hi there hoping someone in a similar situation can help. I am trying to conceive my second child (our daughter is nearly 5) and we are struggling after 9 months. I had an early miscarriage in February which was devastating to me. It took my husband two years to agree to this second baby and now it's just got to the stage where sex is an absolute chore. I make a huge effort and feel like he's not coming to the party. I have tried everything. I am also having acupuncture and various treatments but now it's got to the stage that I'm just getting anxious and a bit crazy about it which I know is not ideal. I'm sick of people telling me to relax. I am quite a chilled person. I am about to have some fertility tests privately. I am 40 so feel like time is ticking. I have used ovulation sticks and herbs and even cut out sugar. I am just feeling at the end of my tether. I had blood tests at doctors and everything was fine. We conceived our beautiful daughter first try. Any advice welcome I'm Not ready to give up!

@summerfruitsquash so sorry.

As for the NHS, as much as I was whinging last week about the lack of information or support I was getting, I was reminded today I'd just how amazing my EPU (at Stoke Mandeville) was and is.

It's only accident I ended up there instead of my local EPU, but I now thank my lucky stars for that happy accident. They are so blooming good: they kept me informed more or less immediately (straight from first scan), by specially trained staff who clearly has been shown how to be a bit sensitive. They kept me away from the maternity and main antenatal area after that- with a special entry and exit route. They phoned me up after the D&C twice to see how I was and gave me a direct number to ring back, and then today (after I called about having lost that enormous clot/tissue, which we've more or less concluded was retained product - probably placental- on monday/Tuesday) and have got me in for a scan on Friday! They never make me feel like I'm being annoying and they're just amazing.😍

Wycombe hosp, on the other hand, and my GP...well don't get me started! 😖

Anyway, that's my positive news: I get a scan on Friday finally! I also must say, I feel bloody awesome since yesterday. It's like my hormones are settling back down and the pain is fading and the bleeding is definitely much less. There's light at the end of this tunnel!! xx

18months and Bliss I'm so sorry for your losses. Miscarriage is a truely horrible thing.

I tried straight away after my ERPC, well as soon as my negative test (which took 2 weeks) I'm not sure I even ovulated that month to be honest. I did opks and did get a positive so I'm another one who doesn't really believe in the super fertile post miscarriage thing. Currently I seem to be at my least fertile having conceived first try on both previous pregnancies and I'm now cycle 3 post miscarriage.

There is no reason to wait, although I'll admit I found trying the first month very hard. Emotionally I don't think I was ready.

Rachel you must be close to me, I have the delights of Wexham as my nearest hospital. Sounds like I should travel a bit further to Stoke who seem miles better. Agreed that Wycombe is also rubbish.

Thanks everyone. I am OK now, it just knocked me for six a bit. Went home and cried - a proper cry until you feel feverish and exhausted type of thing. It's really nice to be able to tell that story to people who instantly 'get it', I have to say. Anne I agree I think I will feel better once af arrives. I remember feeling a sort of calm last time, like it was a line drawn under it. Though obviously I would rather be pg (but physically impossible this month).

joey I've just finished reading It Starts With The Egg, which I found interesting and quite helpful. I'd never really thought about egg quality before as a factor in ttc/mc (stupid as that sounds, but to me it was all about ovulation/ dd timing and then other factors like caffeine, implantation etc) and there's some good stuff in there on the emerging evidence of what works etc - ubiquinol, cutting back on white bread/pasta etc, and also supplements and stuff that really don't help. Apologies if you're well ahead of me!

Hello everyone can I join your thread please? You all sound lovely and supportive. Just found out yesterday at EPU scan that I am probably about to miscarry (8+1), and trying to distract myself by focusing on preparing for ttc afterwards, but having read your thread I think I might be in need of a bit of education. Could someone please give me a guide to the acronyms? Also, how soon after m/c can you conceive? I want to try straight away but DH thinks I will need to give my body a rest.

Any advice about optimising conception would be really welcome, I fell pg quite easily before, and with DS 2 years ago, but I can't assume it will be like that again, especially if I have surgery, which I think I will opt for. I am 38 so worried about my clock ticking...

I am also racking my brains thinking about what I could have done to cause the m/c. I know it's silly but if there are things I can do to minimise risk it must be worth doing. Anyone else felt this way?

Welcome @PumbletonWakeshaft !
Not that anyone would ever want to join this group, but if one finds oneself in this position, you couldn't hope for a better place to be than on this thread! Such nice people; all willing to help. I only joined recently myself.

This was my first intro to miscarriage; it was one of those things I never really heard about before and always thought (I guess a bit like cancer) was more of a theoretical thing than anything that would ever actually affect me. 😕

So anyway, you're not alone!

I also conceived really easily first time (actually, my first first time was eight years ago with my DS and I fell pregnant through the pill!); and then really easily this time (remarried and planned pregnancy- fell pg first month of trying). All was going blissfully well until the scan at 14 weeks (a late scan because I was on holiday).

For me it's been a really long and challenging recovery from mc (though I know there are longer and more challenging ones out there). No natural mc at all; had to have D&C; had retained product; bled for AGES (basically nearly three months, with a few days/weeks off here and there). Still bleeding now (D&C was first week of April), but getting much better!

We're also trying to start ttc again asap, but it's just taking a lot longer to even get my cycle back than I thought. That would be my only word of warning- I thought it would take a lot less time to heal physically and be able to start again. Be mentally prepared for the worst, and then you can be relieved if it goes quickly! 😊

Anyway, I'm not the best to explain the acronyms, because I have to google most of them each time they come up! Maybe someone else can post a summary. 😬

xx

Hello ladies. Welcome to all the newcomers, but sorry you have to be here. So I'm trying to persuade DH that we should have the fertility MOT at Create. Has anyone had something similar?

Joey can I ask where you plan to have your fertility tests?

After a MMC and ERPC on 15 June, when can I start TTC again. Don't want an infection. Have had EWCM with brown streaks but did an ovulation test and didn't get a smiley face!! Have had a negative pregnancy test too.

pumbleton I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard isn't it, waiting it awful.

I found this guide to mumsnet acronyms really helpful www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

Some that aren't on there that we use are:

IC - internet cheapie (a cheap pregnancy or ovulation test)
OPK - ovulation prediction kit
FRER - first response early result pregnancy test
HT - hopeful twat (coined by someone a while back)
ERPC - evacuation of retained products of conception (surgery to remove miscarriage)
D&C - dilation and curettage (similar surgery)

Bliss I'm so sorry you are going through this. Post crying soreness- cold flannel and spa music with a lovely scented candle. I know it's not that simple but it soothes the eyes and the soul a little

I have a question and please forgive me for sounding stupid.. I think I've heard others on here day about ovulation pain? Can anyone tell me what this feels like and where??

smurf not stupid at all...for me I sometimes feel it and it's like a sharpish pain/twinge on one side for a bit where I guess roughly your ovaries are. But for me I mean it lasts a matter of minutes... hope that helps, and maybe others feel it differently or I'm making up the pain in my desperation and crazy lady ways!

Bliss cucumber helps. And a lie down in a dark room.

Thanks for and kind words. It's a crappy situation to be in no matter how far along the pregnancy was. We've had a horrid week as well as Monday would have been the 20 week scan, yesterday the baby was cremated and I turn 30 at the weekend. And DD has decided to pop another tooth so it's been sleepless nights since Saturday

pumbleton you could start as soon as the bleeding stops/negative pg test. With my first mc we waited until after AF just for dating and timing. I think it only took 2 months after to conceive DD. I had the surgery for that too, the nurse said apparently that can make you extra fertile but not sure if that's true or not.
We'll probably wait a month or two this time round, after things go back to normal. Bleeding has stopped and all seems good physically but I'm not there emotionally yet.

Thank you @PossibiliTea cold flannel has helped today. Only cried properly twice today which I'm taking as a win.

Hello @PumbletonWakeshaft I really hope you don't need this thread and can stay on the other!

I have a couple of questions, so my scan on Wednesday said that they couldn't see much of anything left. And today I've had a tiny bit of brown when I wipe, but not every time. So pretty sure the bleeding bit is over. I did an IC this morning to see if it was negative yet but there was still a faint positive, should I wait til it's definitely negative before dtd? Or is it safe to go ahead? It's been a while due to the spotting etc pre m/c and I'm keen to be intimate with DH again. Not necessarily for conception purposes either.

My mum told my sister today, she didn't know I was pg apparently she cried which melted my heart a little. We're not that close.

Also a good friend asked how I was feeling and I couldn't think of a word to describe it.
@Smurf123 I've never noticed ov pain, I used my temp to know for sure when I'd ovd

Long post sorry!

Hi blissful wouldn't that be a miracle! Hope you are bearing up, the tears seem to come in waves for me. Been quite emotionless today actually. Getting intimate would be a great distraction - I say get to it

Thanks for the info and advice, I need to focus on positive things right now. so it helps to hear people's experiences further down the line.

In other news - my hair has been coming out in handfuls for about 10 days. Wondering if it's m/c related...

Hi, please can I join? I miscarried a fortnight ago and have just got a BFN, so back to TTC. Feeling quite down about it all now so would be nice to have a bit of support on the journey.

Oh pumble just what you need...I'm in the mindset now that things have to get worse before they get better.

Hi Fuzzy sorry for your loss. You are in the right place for support I've only been here a few days and it's so helpful

Thank you PossibiliTea. I'm sorry so many of us are going through this. Initially I thought I was ok about things, but quite upset now. Hopefully not long until we all have our sticky BFPs.

I think I'm going to step away for a while. Another bfn for me this month and it's getting too much. Thanks for being lovely ladies and I hope you all get bfps soon.

Wave to everyone, sorry I've been awol all week - reports and data have officially taken over my life!

So sorry to see a number of new names having joined us - I'm so so sorry you find yourselves here. I've just suffered my second mc and it does get easier - surprisingly even after having just had the second, I feel so much stronger than just after the first. Don't underestimate your strength - focus on what you enjoy, look after yourself and cry whenever you need, you'll realise that each day is a small step forwards.

Pumbleton, pregnancy stops hair from falling out; after my first mc I noticed that about a week after surgery it suddenly stated falling out again, maybe you're just noticing it as it hasn't fallen out for a while?

Sorry you're struggling tiffin, we're here when you need us 💕

So I started bleeding again 2 days ago, 2 weeks post mc. It's literally like black tar. So definitely isn't af. Would you guys log this as af in your apps or just leave it? I guess it's possible I'm ovulating behind all the bleeding which really would be the icing on the cake! We only got 2 lots of dtd in before it kicked off again.

@joey I'm sorry for your loss. You sound very similar to me - also 40 and mc in April. First is 4.5 and easily conceived.

I have got it starts with the egg and am following a lot of it, mainly ubiquinol and pregnacare. I sometimes take extra folic acid in its natural basic form and was trying evening primrose till ovulation- increases ewcm, which I did notice (I've run out). Had a chemical last month. There's advice for dh too in the book.

There's a ttc 40+ thread and a pregnant at 40+ too. The ladies there did similar I think but you could ask. Some say more exercise helped too.

Ah the black tar bleeding. I had that and didn't count as af. I felt very frustrated during that stage.

Double sorry for your bfn. And yes take some time out, I had headspace earlier this month after af arrived... only for a week in the end but it was what I needed. We are here for you if you want to return. In the meantime take care and good luck xxx