How do you stay sane whilst TTC?

[BasinHaircut]

Only had one cycle and I'm obsessed. Convinced myself I was pg even though my period started. I do suffer from anxiety and the fact that DS was conceived straight off the pill without a period doesn't help.

Anyone in the same boat?

Sorry meant to say I am aware this sounds incredibly ridiculous considering the struggle some people have/are having TTC so hope it doesn't piss anyone off

I had my first child young (20) and decided when I was about 27 to have another. It took 5 years! Nothing wrong with me or DH but 5 years and guess what? A couple of months before I conceived DD we decided to give up and then I was PG. 9 months on from having DD I am pregnant again. It's not easy but try and relax.

I haven't stayed sane. I've been prescribed anti-depressants and drive myself miserable and crazy. I think it has had a (negative) knock-on effect with my work and friendships. I am a shell of the person I used to be and it makes me question my ability to be a mother (let alone become one!).

I am desperate for help but they won't help me... and I don't know how to reconcile that.

For three months when I first tried I got upset that I kept on getting negatives convinced my symptoms were pregnant related as I had no periods.

Tried those ovulation sticks that made me more stressed. I kepts getting errors on the clear blue ones, and no sign I was ovulating.

I stopped trying one month so I could relax and realised all those pregnancy symptoms were just the symptoms of comimg off the pill. Now my body is back to normal again (period started, feel less hormonal and not bloated) I'm ready to start again.

Maybe try having a break for one month so you be yourself again and remember some people when first trying take up to a year. No point in stressing if its gonna take a year of trying, one month not trying wont hurt. Helped me loads to focus on me again.

I'm definitely not sane and same boat as you. Conceived DS on cycle 2 (one period after coming off pill) and on cycle 2 ttc #2 now. Negative tests so far so sure I am out and feel so despondent as it had happened by now with DS!! But it's such a short time and I am now 3yrs older so clearly shouldn't expect it to be so easy. Chin up. I'm going to lay off buying tests for next month (she says...)

I've been ttc over a year... Yes. It can take over year and the NHS still won't help you with child number 1...

We went through 2.5 years of ttc and a round of ivf before it happened for us...

Easier said than done but you cannot let it take over. We did here and there and the anxiety/stress put pressure on us and on our sex life. We would then have a cycle not tracking etc and just enjoying each other to reconnect.
When we found out it was virtually impossible to conceive naturally it took all the pressure off.. whereas there would be times when dtd was literally just to make a baby.
I know I lived month to month thinking best not book this or that in case I am pregnant.. I put life on hold for a while.. I wouldn't recommend it!

People will tell you to relax.. well I know for a fact that even when I was relaxed it still didn't happen so it's not helpful and I am sure you will be fine.. just keep in mind many people easily take six months to a year to conceive and that's fine! Good luck x

I'm not sane at all... 9DPO and imagining things 😂 I conceived straight away with my other children.... I'm 33 now and worrying my age may affect it x

The best thing to do would be to try and put it out of your mind, stay away from this place, keep having sex regularly and just get on with your life. If you're anything like me the chance of that is zero. So there's a few things I do to try and stay grounded.

Get to know your cycle really well and note symptoms that you get at each DPO so next month when you get them again you know it's not because you are pregnant.

Implantation is usually between day 7 and 11DPO, with 9 being the most common. Before that any symptoms you get are a result of the normal rising progesterone and oestrogen and not pregnancy hormones. So for about the first 10 days of your tww just keep reminding yourself of that so really it's only a 4 day wait. I'm 8DPO with sore boobs and feel quite queasy, absolutely not getting excited about it.

Don't test before your period is due. Don't get sucked into squinting at indents and evaps, buying a million different kinds of test in case it makes a difference, it's the path to madness and there's only a few more days to wait. At 14DPO about 90% of pregnant women will get a clearly positive result. Just do one test then, or better still the next day if your period hasn't arrived, then you can move on. Don't have tests in the house. Go put the day your period is due and but 1 and 1 only.

Anyway that's my approach and so far I'm very calm and reasonable. This is likely to change if it takes a long time :) We're all afraid of being one of the unlucky ones but all we can do is keep trying. Good luck

ouster that is fab advice thank you! I think I am going to do the one test thing too next month. I am also taking the noting all symptoms approach and comparing to prior months.

Yes Oyster that is sound advice thanks.

Next month I will certainly not be testing before AF is late.

I tested on Friday at 9dpo but only because I was going out and was planning to drink, plus I had what I thought might be implantation bleeding (but turned into period 24 hours later). Other than that I tried not to symptom spot at all, but it's hard!

10 months in, what has worked for me is not to engage in threads here that inadvertently make you (want to) symptom spot, test/opk every day, and obsess! Best to concentrate on you and try to stay calm. No 2 ttc journeys are the same but when you read other people's obsessions, you project it onto your life.
Best of luck with your journey basil, hope it's a short one c