Getting Ready For Baby Challenge Thread 5

[HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips]

The fastest moving TTC thread where we are all trying to get ourselves ready for our bundles of joys. Come and join the madness.

Evening all! Sorry had a mental day!
Happy to poo in the post parsnips 😂
laura house renovations are fun! :) although stressful hehe I'd love a new door, mine is awful :(
confused it's so normal to be worried but you have nothing to worry about! You have been so kind and caring just on this thread! Including posting lube!! Your motherly instincts are clear and I guarantee you're going to be an amazing mum ❤️❤️ as for money, that's a worry for everyone I think regardless of how much you make or how much debt you have, there are always ways around it and I'm sure you'll be fine - some great advice from people here about credit cards, but please don't stress yourself out. Bubble needs you to not worry :)
red such a good idea about relaxing- don't think I'll be able to! I especially with Ovia and all her bloody comments! I'm so excited to start trying in May too. Just need to shift this weight and going for a carvery right now is not going to help!! I'm so hungry though and have had such a busy day. Back on the diet tomorrow!!

Get humping mummy!!

Evening guys,

Confused I am the same with far too much on a credit card (or 3!) Just make sure you've got them all on the 0% interest if you can. The minimum repayment on MBNA ones is less than some of the others too so a good way to keep the payments down if you're only doing the minimum whilst on mat leave, etc. (I sound like I know what I'm talking about...bloody love Martin Lewis!!)
I'll hopefully have paid mine off by the time I'm 30 but it's taking forever and I definitely want a baby before then.

Aww Mummy - you never know, your body might surprise you. How is the back today?

Jupiter - no it doesn't, you're right to be anxious. But don't worry my love xx all will be well with Jupiters tubes :)

Happy Monday everyone. Just got home. Day 1 of the new diet going well - I'm so full! haha!! But my tonsils are sooo sore - need to do silent teaching tomorrow.

Hi Ladies, new here so not sure if this is the right post to introduce myself on or really what the difference is between threads. But anyway, age 32 (keep thinking I'm 31 for some reason ) TTC # 2. Not starting until May/June due to work stress but after an oops moment this month which resulted in a BFN I've got the bug. Going to chart the next 2 months to figure out the lie of the land. Looking forward to reading all your stories xx

Welcome flowerpot - you're in the right place. Expect lube and/or poo to be whizzing it's way to you in the post. It's all part of the service here!

Thank you Parsnips. I work in a lab so not much bothers me x

Hi girls! Didn't vom on the bus today, success! Also had gp appointment and back tomorrow for booking with the nurse, height, weight, blood etc, gp has also said she will write a letter on my behalf for the c section I want, she said it's no guarantee but to keep pushing it and hopefully they'll listen so I guess she can do no more but I'll be preparing to bring my fighting spirit in for my hospital appointments. She knows this isn't something I've said lightly and she fully agrees with and supports my decision so that's such a relief!
Welcome flower you're in the right place!
red I think your attitude regarding ttc is really good! Good for u girl!
confused I had a meltdown over money this week too, I'm a little calmer if I push it right out of my mind, no debts to speak off but just finding it a struggle since Christmas, seems to be always something on and then different random expenses like car trouble etc and there are so many weddings etc which are set to continue basically until October so the whole 9 months, but determined to try and cut my cloth and cut back! I wanted to cancel our holiday in July but dp put his foot down and said we work hard and we deserve it and I know he's right! Also you will be a wonderful mum, you've already been so confused and caring and made sacrifices for a little person you haven't even met yet, that sounds like a wonderful mummy to me!
laura I actually spent an hour looking at a door catalogue the last day, how anyone makes a decision on these things is beyond me!
jupiter you couldn't be selfish if you tried you are too lovely, it's natural to be concerned and your friend will be so glad to have u supporting her on her possibly difficult journey!
parsnips I was watching dragons den when you said that and started giggling at the thought of someone trying to get investment for a poop in the post service I've officially lost it 😂 😂 😂
mummy Fx for you this cycle, time has flown!

Yay to not vomming mrs!

Welcome flower you're deffo in the right place! I'm please that there are quite a few of us starting in May! Yay it will be here before we know it I hope! 🎉

Buzz yay glad there are a few of us. Hoping to catch up on everyone's stories over the next few weeks x

flower - seven does our fantastic updates that is at the top of the thread :) how old is your lo?

Thanks for the kind words everyone, you’re all bloody lovely. My tubes and I are extremely appreciative

Buzz DS will be 2 in May.

Jupiter we used Preseed last time & worked a treat so will be using the same again!

Awhh all you ladies are lovely!... i consulted doctor google and it would seem that although my debt seems large and overwhelming as its not even half of what i earn after tax we are ok for the moment! Lol tbh ive thought about it and so what if it takes 6 years to clear? The payments gradually get smaller and even as it is we still have some savings each month! and if we come into some money we can always use that to help!

Seven i have 4 but 2 are interest free and 1 is so something like 4% and the othef is ridiculous! But they are all cut up! I understand your pain with multiple cards though!

Jupiter you are literally so lovely! I am sure ur tubes will be fine hun! And let the lute exchange commence! Lol

Tigger stupid bastard ex's are literally the worst! I wouldn't have barely any debt if it wasn't for mine!

Confused if we're exchanging lutes things are getting a bit bizarre...! ;) Glad you're feeling happier about things! Definitely a good way to look at it, it's all ok so long as you are happier!

Sorry about all the dick exs!!

Jupiter your friend is definitely lucky to have you. And of course you're not selfish! Natural for it to stir up inner concerns you have. Hopefully she has success with ivf later down the line!

Hi ladies wow lots to catch up on I have had a full on day at work as my big boss is here from America. Meetings all day then dinner with the big boys. Been grilled asked nicely about baby plans which I massively resent because I'm getting judged even before I fucking do it. Made great efforts to explain DH would be part time / SAHD if we were to go down that road. I'm now worrying massively about the impact on my career (even just perception wise) even if I take minimal time off. ARGH

Welcome flower

Grumpy I'm shocked they even asked you?! Is that legal? Surely your ttc plans are no ones business but your own? Try not to worry about ur though, it's hard but they will either judge you or not and there's nothing you can do about that. There are laws in place to protect you (hopefully) so it's really not your concern.

I keep having the same doubts. A colleague recently got pushed into leaving as bosses would only offer her her old hours back and she wanted to work PT. It is so unfair, but life goes on and your tiny bundle of joy will be worth these obstacles and will fade into insignificance when you're holding your baby. ❤️

Confused I agree with others, it's not the end of the world as long as you're keeping your head above water. And you got a head start by buying lots of bargain bits already! Tbh, I know we'll be in the same position with credit cards after our honeymoon.

Grumpy I can't believe they questioned you on your intentions!! It's so hard being a woman in a career. It sounds like you made it clear there's a plan in place when you do need mat leave and that should be enough to reassure them, is there a big project in the offing is that why they're being so direct?

Jupiter your friend is so lucky to have you!

Confused glad you're feeling better I agree my debt would be minimal without knobhead but there we go live and learn!

So I'm officially 6 weeks today with scan on Friday to check everything is in the right place. Baby is apparently the size of a blueberry or ladybird now. Oh said I had a dream last night that you had the baby and we had a little girl. He's so cute.

Welcome flower definitely the most supportive board!

They pretend it's friendly chat but it's so blatant! I'm in a key strategic role and there's only one other woman on our team. It would be really difficult for them if I took a year mat leave which is why I think they are asking. But why not give me a chance, I feel like I'm being judged for being female married and 30 while we might not even want more kids at all (obviously we do now but we were on the fence until recently, mainly because of my career). One thing is for sure, I'll have to tell them upfront I'm taking only 6m leave (worried it will need to be 3m..) and DH the rest.

No specific project tigger and I'm not sure it's legal wiggley (I know it's illegal in interviews I'm not sure about in a current role!). My next promotion is 2yrs away (will likely be a bit delayed if I have a baby but I'm ok with that).

Employment lawyer here - I'd say they're on very dodgy grounds asking you those questions. Even if they aren't happy behind the scenes they shouldn't be presenting it as a career issue if you choose to exercise a legally protected statutory right. I'm in a similar position tbh, there's only two of us in my team so will cause a big disruption for me to be off for a long time and I don't have the same protection here re return to work as the U.K. so if they replace me and prefer the replacement I could easily be out on my arse. I'm not allowed to take a year off anyway but even so.

I would be wary of saying too much at this stage Grumpy as TTC is not a protected status like pregnancy is. But if you chose to take 9 months or a year off it is their problem to fix, not yours frankly. Be wary of making decisions around your employer - I've seen many a case where the poor unsuspecting mum is laid off as soon as she returns to work. I would suit yourself and your family first.

Grumpy it's so difficult. It's outrageous that they asked tbh. I think if it's an American company and an American boss, that may be why they think it's ok to ask... employment rights and maternity rights suck in America! Also, parsnips will correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think they're allowed to make you say how much mat leave you're going to take before you take it. And I think you have the right to change your mind!!! I do understand it's a difficult position for you, as you clearly enjoy your career and it's important to you. It completely sucks that you have to think about all these issues. :(

Thanks parsnips it was hard to not answer but I was trying to be vague in our intentions I basically said yeah maybe we will in the future but DH knows he would need to step back in his career if he wants that. I could not bring myself to say no we aren't planning to, as it would then seem odd if I announce a pregnancy in a few months.
Also I have my DD already and worked hard to get to where I am, they know that.

I know you have the right to change your mind on how much leave etc but I would want to be crystal clear that it would be under 26 weeks to protect my right to my exact role back (so they don't start planning to move me sideways out of my strategic role).

That's shocking Grumpy!! I'd say you've done the right thing for now, but definitely don't get into any further discussions about it with your employer. The cynic in me also says that you should write down what was said and keep a record of anything else out of the ordinary that happens... just in case!