Getting Ready for Baby Challenge-Pt3

[confusedat23]

New thread for all of us crazy TTC ladies!!

We are currently averaging a BFP a month so keep it up girls!

Also shout out to Parsnip Our CrayCray ringleader!

Stats as of today are:
*Seven - Age 28 - TTC #1 - Cycle 4 - BFP due: 11th Feb
I would like to get fitter and ideally loose a stone

Confusedat23 - Age: 23 - TTC # 1 - Cycle 1 officially following a CP of a magical Pre-Cum baby! - BFP Due: 18th Feb (Late Ov)

HeyJupiter - TTC #1 - Cycle 2 - BFP due: 18/19th Feb

Tigger83 - TTC #1 - Cycle 2 - BFP due: 23rd Feb

Mummyme87 - TTC #2 - Cycle 3 - BFP due: 23rd Feb
Aiming to lose 4stone in total, ideally 1stone over next 6weeks

Oysterbabe - TTC #2, 13 month old DD - Cycle 1 - CD 2 (post pill)
Weight lost: 8lbs since 3rd Jan

MrsC2017 - TTC #2 - Cycle 2 - BFP due: 2nd March

Orangefolly - Cycle 1 - BFP due: next month - but not not trying smile

Wiggleyfingers - Age 26 - TTC # 1 BFP due: May - Preparing/Wedding planning in the mean time
Weight loss so far: 4lbs Weight loss to go: 14lbs

Buzzmoon - Age 24 - TTC #1 from May (wedding in July)
Weight loss: 24lbs since September - 14lbs to go

TheGrumpySquirrel - Age 30 - TTC #2 (Mr Squirrel's #1!) - Cycle …
Weight loss: 2kg since Christmas, another 2kg to goal weight (about 5lbs)

HopefullyDothButterNoParsnips - Age 31 - TTC #1 - Cycle 1 post implant - BFP due: May/June
Weight loss so far - 8 lbs Weight loss to go - 30 lbs(ish)

RedPony1

HbH04 - awaiting Zika test 22nd Feb

BFP’s
DancingUnicorn - EDD: 11th Oct
Holly*

Our previous threads were:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2807424-getting-ready-for-baby-challenge?pg=1&order=

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2829491-Getting-Ready-for-Baby-Challenge-Pt-2?pg=1&order=

We went out earlier for a brunch. We had already made the plans and I didn't feel like I could back out. Anyway I left and came home about an hour ago and he stayed out (I left him to stay out). Think I just needed a bit of space.

Oh parsnips I'm so sorry but you are right that is a dick move! I wouldn't be ok with that, you aren't being uptight. I'm so sorry love, this is really shitty xxxx

Oh parsnips

Is there somewhere else you can stay tonight, just to give yourself a bit of head space? Might set you both up better for a big talk about it tomorrow, let it sink in to him that he needs to treat this seriously?

Totally second what orange said, you need to show him the severity of this... and also get a break away yourself.

He's just come home completely pissed reeling if cigarettes (even though I told him not to smoke because I hate it) and unable to string two words together except that he "loves me so much"
Blah blah blah.

I don't really have anywhere to go.

Oh parsnips is there anywhere he can go? Or just tell him to sort himself out?

He's on the couch tonight. He offered to take it rather than me. Will be impressed if he lasts the night out without trying to sneak in to our bed.

Parsnips, I'm so sorry. We're here if you need us to talk to. I agree with the others... Get yourself out of there for a bit if you can.
xxxxx

He's gone and got pissed I guess because actually he does know how serious this is. I hope he is going to acknowledge that tomorrow so you can actually talk. How are you bearing up sweetheart? x

Parsnips i'm really sorry hun! Honestly talk it all out with us... men do some pretty dickheadish things sometimes!

I don't want you to feel you have to stay in a marriage that you are unhappy with... but you need to give it a really good try to push on through... more from his side than yours!...

His drinking shows that he knows he has done something wrong my DH is the same!... the important thing to stick to is that its only flirty... theres no outright sexual texting which means that he isn't likely to cheat on you anytime soon.. but you need to stamp this behaviour where he is being inappropriate out if him... explain to him just how embarassing you find it!

I gave DH his present at first.. he didnt see the line on the test so i had to actually say i'm pregnant... we then had a massivly long embrase on the sofa whilst we both cried! i think its just very overwhelming!!!

However since then he has not stopped going on about babies looool

Been quiet again..had a nightmare of a day. But after reading about parsnips I'm starting to maybe calm down a little. I'm so sorry to hear about that it's complete shit... I'm feeling you trust me.

When I was 17 I was with my ex, he was living down in Wokingham and I used to go down to see him every weekend on a Friday evening (his manager used to pay for him to stay in a hotel)..after months and months of constant deceit I finally took the plunge to leave him a week after my 18th. He had another phone that one of his little bitches on the side bought him, he was sleeping with the receptionists and yet I wasn't allowed any social media and wasn't even allowed to mention another males name. His family were complete wrongens. Lost my v to him on Valentine's Day, took the morning after pill. End of March found I was pregnant. After being heartbroken, and one of the 0.01% that can still fall pregnant after the contraceptive pill and morning after pill to say I was fragile would be an understatement. I did tell him because my head was all over the place and at that point I wasn't sure whether I was keeping it or not (I knew I wanted to but knew deep down this wasn't right for me and not what I wanted for my child at all) I ended up having an abortion (to this day I still regret it and often wonder what life would be like but now I have a home, a stable job and getting married to I know the timing is much better now) he didn't believe me that I was even pregnant. I ended up having to show him my hospital notes to prove the procedure and medication I was prescribed after. For 18 months I suffered after that as had fluid in my uterus which caused non stop bleeedinf and had everything put in me to try and stop it.

Men are complete and utter bastards but we wouldn't survive without them. It's just finding one that gives you shit but makes you smile more than he makes you cry.

The lies and deceit would drive me mad. Things will never be the same but you are your own woman and have a mind. Whatever choice you make I'm sure I can vouch for all us ladies we will support you. It will get better over time..your still newlyweds you should be enjoying time together still not be dealing with this so early on.

Thinking of you Hun xxxxxx

parnsips totally agree that you don't need to make any big decisions just yet. Let yourself have some time to process all this. You need to take as much time as you need.

confused that is a gorgeous story, bet you are both feeling so bloody emotional.

Tigger is it sinking in yet?

MrsC - any hint of a darker line this evening? Hope so!

Hb super sperm indeed! bring on the Wellman!

laura sounds like you had such a rough ride but you've come out the other side and done so well! What cycle day are you on now?

Parsnips I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope you manage to get the space you need tonight and are able to get some much needed rest. Is there a friend from back home that would be able to come out? Guessing you don't want to tell your mum just yet. 💐💐💐

Parsnips he sounds like a bit of an arse. Look after yourself darling. I was with someone who I caught texting multiple other people over the years I was with him and he made it feel like it was my fault! Be strong and don't let him belittle your feelings but take all the time you need to get your head straight

Jupiter I swing from being ecstatic to worrying that it'll end up as a chemical or something. I just can't believe I'm so luck and that hopefully by the end of October we'll have a baby!

Jupiter it was a fairly traumatic time of my life. I've never really recovered from it tbh and my oh understands that I've been hurt but I always think your oh never really understands it to the full extent unless they've been hurt before but hey ho. One of life's lessons..these things happen. CD5 now and withdrawal bleed is just about finished now which is good 👏🏼 just the waiting game now for af to show up. Wonder how long it'll be...

So... i'm having quite painful cramps this evening!... its got me really scared!

confused don't panic, I think lots of people have cramps in the first few weeks? Even some spotting would be quite normal.

laura I had my first AF exactly 28 days after my first withdrawal bleed so it could happen easily... but also perfectly normal for it to take a while (as grumpy and red can testify!) but you'll get there in the end. I'm so sorry I can't remember whether you'd decided to go for it this month or whether you're going to wait until later in the year. Either way good luck!

Don't panic too much confused lots of people feel cramps at this stage. Have a chilled night

Don't panic confused! I've had loads of cramping too, and seems to be a really common complaint. Feels exactly like AF so I understand your concern, but it's normal! :)

Jupiter thanks Hun! Fingers crossed it's the same for me too 🤞🏼 I came off only because you ladies suggested it to me and use protection. I'll actively be using protection until end of April just incase then coming off completely in May. I figured if I'm pregnant in the May then my wedding is at beg of June so it'll be okay..she says haha! How's everything going with you?

Oh Laura your ex sounds like a right charm- you've had a lucky escape there. Glad things are much better for you now.

Confused - I hope the cramping has subsided and you feel ok. Sounds lovely how your telling DH went. Bless him.

I went to bed a couple of hours ago and had a bit of sleep. Woken up now (obvs). He is still on sofa. I will try and talk to him tomorrow when He has sobered up a bit. For what it's worth I don't think he has been physical with these people but I don't like the 'banter' and I really don't like the deception. He knows full well it's not ok which is why he is lying about it.

As background we were in a long distance relationship for about 6 months five years ago (we were both based in Asia) and the same thing happened - he was messaging girls. Little lunches. One particular "friend". Just friends etc etc and then one night we had a huge argument and of course he immediately went off to sleep with her. I found out three months later when she dropped him in it of course. They'd been keeping up their little friendship the entire time.

Anyway that was yonks ago. We worked on a lot of stuff. He was extremely apologetic and really took steps to knock all this on the head and to be fair to him in many ways he is like a different person. But the messaging just brings it all back for me. I'm not sure that side of him will ever go.

Only 3dpo here and it's dragging. Yoga class was great but I had a dizzy spell in the shower? Which I never get. And itchy down below (pH is off.. I never get thrush so it's odd) and I have terrible gas!

Hope you are sleeping ok parsnips.. it may be nothing serious but he needs to realise how disrespectful his behaviour is and was.. I hope it's not indicative of his attitude to the relationship generally, and he got carried away with a silly flirtation.. not making excuses but he should be totally honest with you and remorseful xxx

I once had a guy at work I got too flirty with. Once I realised it was over the line I told DH (years ago) and stopped the "banter" straight away. It can happen to the best of us.

I hope it's nothing worse for you - but even if so, we are here to hand hold xx

X-post sorry parsnips ! Hope you can work it out xxx

Parsnips I think it happens to the best of us. Some people just go through it alor younger and some people are more established within their relationship when it happens. It's both equally as bad and doesn't hurt any less. Regardless whether there was physical contact or not it's down right disrespectful and the fact he kept it from you says it all. I've always said if ever you have to hide something or delete it incase oh sees then your answers there and you already know you've over stepped the mark.

I personally have a big problem forgoing and forgetting. I've tried that and it didn't work..doesn't help I'm a major over thinker. Made myself so stressed I lost 2 stone in just under 3 weeks there was nothing to me. It's so sad to know how heartless and inconsiderate humans are to one and other.

Whatever happened to good communication in relationships. It all revolves around iMessage and WhatsApp nowadays and everything is so public between relationships. I'm very old fashioned when it comes to things like that but I also won't be treated like a mug and let them continue to do it #ReleaseTheInnerPsycho

I really hope you eventually sort everything out and you get back to being in your happy place. It's just whether you'll be able to not questioneverything he says from now on. Once that trust is gone my god it's hard to rebuild but again, maybe that's just me and my super overactive mind.

All the best for your chat tmoz I hope he bucks his ideas up and is 100% honest so at least your both on the same page and can attempt to salvage what's left and move forward.

Hugs to you xxxxx