Thread 25. TTC #1 - February Fertility Fighters on the FRONTLINE

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We've ditched the Gregorian calendar in favour of the TTC Cycle Day calendar, and we don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

We have a new Grad's Thread. We recently lost a whole load of ttc veterans to the good side and we're absolutely desperate to join in the fun! May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

We bought our flat before we got married but I certainly found it way more stressful as a process (and I certainly felt that DH left me to do all the work). I often watch Location, Location, Location and see these couples getting all excited together about their offer being accepted and remember how I did all the negotiations with the estate agent in the stairs at work because DH just wasn't interested. I am still annoyed four years on (and that's the main reason why I don't want to move again because I'll have to deal with all the shit). Anyway, that was a long and self-involved way to say that I completely understand the stress you're under Jam. You'll get through this though and you will be stronger for it.

Pyjamas, there was a really good book that used to be recommended a lot on this thread called Expecting Better. It's written by a social scientist who got frustrated at the advice given to women that had no scientific merit so reviewed a lot of studies/literature to work out what advice she really should follow when TTC and when she was pregnant. It's so easy to read something and take that as gospel but she shows that most of it is a complete load of bollocks.

That's exactly why I'm raging penguin - I leafed through the rest of the book and it basically said I'm infertile due to my low AMH level and will need to consider adoption/egg donors, which is absolutely not what our fertility specialist told us.

I've told him over the last 8 months that drinking affects sperm so he should cut out the binge drinking 12 pints on one session, yet he still did it (once the night before his sperm analysis). Now he's decided he's cutting out booze entirely and is trying to guilt/manipulate me into doing what he wants. We just had another chat, and I've said I'm not having it. Either he apologises and stops having a big sulky face on or he can leave me alone for the rest of the weekend.

Thanks for the book recommendation kathrino! I'm getting it

pyjamas you have every right to be angry! He's clearly trying to make you feel bad as he has now decided to quit. You are absolutely NOT infertile simply because you have a low AMH and 8 months TTC (although frustrating) is actually well within normal limits. I don't drink but I would allow myself some wine each week if I wanted it. Remember there are drug addicts, alcoholics, drunk students etc. falling pregnant ALL the time. Hope you can sort it out very soon

Jam I can totally understand your frustration I don't understand why he's being so negative? If you've proved you can afford it I don't see why anyone wouldn't want their own home and security? I want to scream and shout at him for you! You have been together a long time and this is a new type of stress you're having to deal with. I think your feelings of resentment re. the delayed engagement are only surfacing now because you haven't conceived as quickly as you had hoped. Now the wasted time is heightened. And with your DH having MFI these feelings are bound to come to the boil when he's now stressing you out about other things too! I don't blame you for losing your cool, we can't always keep it together. I hope you've been able to talk things through and let him know that his hesitancy and negativity is not what you need right now. And please kiss and make up

With all the stress and hormones flying around it is hard not to argue/bicker when TTC. I'm lucky because my DH is not moody, sulky or argumentative. It's usually me who flips out. We have discussed ways to calm each other down asap so we don't pointlessly argue. It usually... Listen/let me say my piece, apologise if you're in the wrong and then make the other person laugh quickly/use distraction techniques. If all else fails I just hug my DH and won't let him go until he says it's ok again I could not be dealing with long, stressful arguments on top of everything else we deal with when TTC.

Skipper Can you put me down for March 8th please? Hope you're ok

Carley anything you need help with specifically? It certainly does become easier the more you use it. It's not as 'pretty' as apps like Ovia much it's much better.

Claire I'm hesitant to say IB or AF as you're only 6dpo. Could it be ovulation related? If you are worried about your lp you could try B50 complex? It helped me.

Aww Miranda, I'd probably cry too 😂

Thinking of you Kwick

but it's much better.* that should say

Hi ladies, I took some time off this week as was feeling a bit shit (physically and emotionally). Trying to put my big girl pants on though and sort myself out now as I'm being a drama queen and there's much worse going on in the world

Hope everyone's feeling better than last weekends lurgy-ness? Jam how are you doing? And how's your sore foot hep?

Glad your appointment was ok kathrino. FX things move forwards quickly for you

Kwick I am so so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking How are you doing? Thinking of you- you are a wonderful support to us all and please let us know if we can do anything to help you at this dreadful time

Sorry that they want you to delay things mouse but that will be a great opportunity to get your body in tip top baby carrying condition after you've eaten lots of pizza. Pizza is therapy

also to those AF got- hope there's been lots of f-it action this weekend

Pyjamas your picture properly made me belly laugh 😂 Sorry about your argument last night- hope it's settled down now- and yours london

So sorry to hear about your anxiety flash Absolutely not pathetic. We are often too harsh on ourselves- we would never expect so much of others, be kind to yourself (this is my catch phrase I think)

Alexia I hope you had some fun for your birthday despite the shitty timing of bitchy AF. It is so hard when you're ready to be a Mum and it's not happened- but it will, we will all hold our babies when our time is right

Overall, sorry it's a crap time for so many Stay strong and as said many times before, we are one day closer to our babies every day

On the positive vibe- Excellent news Harriet and colour -congratulations!

jam and kathrino I just wanted to say this is completely my experience with my DH too - we actually had a fight a couple of weeks ago about this because I constantly feel like I'm dragging him to the next "stage" - from buying our first flat, to getting engaged, planning the wedding, TTC, moving house...he always likes it when we get there but never takes the initiative!! We're also in London and like inspector (I think?) says we're a typical London couple in that we got together aged 22, married at 29. DH still feels he's "young" to do all this stuff and I have to remind him his view is skewed by all our london friends and we couldnt afford (biologically for me) to wait another 10 years for kids etc! Although he was totally on board with TTC he didn't expect it to happen cycle 1 and has been in total shock since we found out. Definitely more concerned than happy, and focusing a bit on negatives/worries rather than being positive. Anyway sorry for long rant and I know I'm lucky, but I really think this is just what men are like - actually a bit over cautious often and find it hard to visualise stuff so prefer to stick with what they've got rather than risk new (and exciting) things. It's shit that we end up with all the admin as a result but they will get there in the end. jam your OH will be so bloody grateful when you have your own place and once you've moved in all this stress will be worth it!

Hi *Binky" top of foot is still a little swollen, so I can't wear shoes tight.... So certainly not my running shoes.

Have made progress with my crochet lessons. (Switching between different instructions/tutorials).

Other than that a lazy day!

to those with OH/DP frictions.

Oh kath I can so sympathise with the phone conversations in the stairs at work. This is me! And DH although he goes away a lot also has soooooooo much time off during the week so he could easily crack through all this stuff. I asked him to look after one thing with the damp report we had done and it took four weeks of me asking him almost daily to do anything about it. Rahhh!

Pyjamas I really hope he's making it up to you. He needs to read kathrinos book too

Alexia he's just totally paralysed by fear and indecision over it. It's a massive decision and I get that it's nerve wracking. But we are talking about a man who finds it hard to decide on where to go for dinner as he worries it might not be good so can't make a decision. Applied to the scale of house buying his worries are just blown off the charts.

Hello binky I hope you're okay, you always seem so sweet I'm sorry you're having a rubbish time. I'm feeling better thanks but I don't know if it's the bug or the stress but I've got terrible constipation things are very backed up and very uncomfortable at the moment so I'm on the prunes yoghurt and mint tea hoping to sort it things out!

Harriet Christ word for word I agree with every word! I explained to DH about how I feel like he's a heavy weight on my shoulders with regards to buying this flat and making big life decisions. They come thick and fast when you leave them to your 30s but you have to man up and face them together. Instead I have to have the energy and enthusiasm to get both of us through them - against him dragging his heels. You are right - he will love having our own place when we finally get in there!!

*Alexia
*
Yes I think it's too early too. You never know though...

Just getting ready for a night shift. Praying there's nothing much going on. OH just cooked me fajitas which makes me feel better!

Sorry to everyone having a crappy time, especially when partners aren't supportive as they could be I guess it makes everything a lot harder.

Just popping on before going out for dinner to say penguin you legend, that BMJ article totally shut him up after he said 'show me one thing that says it's fine' and he's apologised!

Geeup I meant to reply to you earlier. The best of luck with your last natural go before IVF, a last hour surprise would be lovely, but I'm also really excited and optimistic for IVF for you. Keep us posted - I feel like we will likely end up down this route so I'll be following your journey x x

Hi everyone!

I've been on holiday so just catching up on the thread. It moves so fast! First of all Kwick, Pug and Mouse I am so, so sorry to hear your news, I hope you are doing as well as can be expected at this sad time. Keeping everything crossed that you get your BFPs soon; you all deserve it.

Sorry to hear about the BFNs, AFs and anyone going through a really tough time at the moment. Reading the thread it looks like it's been a really difficult cycle for some of you ladies so here's hoping to a much more positive March.

Pyjamas and Jam I hope things get better with your DHs. TTC is stressful enough without this on top. Pyjamas I am with you on the drinking thing; a couple of beverages here and there is not going to do you any harm! It's amazing that we have so much information available to us these days (the joys of Google!) but at the same time it can be information overload and it makes us question everything or put normal life on hold. My theory is that women have been having babies for thousands of years not knowing all this stuff, so if we decide to "break the rules" I don't think it's going to cause too many problems. Everything in moderation I say, and do whatever works for you.

Congratulations to Harriet and Colour on the BFPs! Hope you're both doing well so far. I feel like I may have missed another couple of BFPs somewhere? Sorry if I have and I promise it's not intentional!

Speaking of which...I am joining the club as I got my BFP this evening! I waited until AF was due this time as I'd rather have seen that than a BFN and the CB digital said I'm 2-3 weeks. Really happy but also remembering that it's early days!

Thank you for asking after me sk1pper, really sweet of you

Gee sorry I meant to say thanks very much for mentioning the Zika/IVF warning. It hadn't crossed my mind at all when we were planning our trip. Luckily where we are going is not affected according to the WHO site (sadly no Thai beaches for us).
I am also hoping you get your pre-IVF BFP but, like Jam, very optimistic about what that will bring for you. I'll be a keen follower of your updates as expect to be in the same place come the summer.

Congrats Poppet! You must be feeling very excited indeed. Nice to see someone get their BFP early on in their TTC journey - it helps bring down the thread average! Did you have any symptoms?

The Deliveroo man has just brought my dinner. So it's Netflix and Japanese food for me now

Thank you so much Inspector! Hmm nothing major if I'm honest; AF was due yesterday but from Tuesday I had on/off pain on my left side (I don't know whether "ovary pain" is a thing but that's how I would describe it!) I wasn't sure if it was AF coming, but I don't usually get pain like that (or that early) so I thought it was a little odd but I tried not to think about it too much.

The only other thing is that while I was away I felt dizzy/lightheaded one day which made me feel a bit sick, however I was skiing and the visibility was awful that day so I wondered whether it was because I couldn't really see where I was going! It kind of felt like motion sickness if that makes sense (which I get occasionally anyway and I have fairly low blood pressure naturally so it could easily have been nothing).

Other than that, nothing! No sore boobs, sickness or anything!

I've been lurking on this thread since October and just kinda garnering the courage to join in.

My name is vi. My stats are:
Age:30 (soon to be 31)
Ttc #1 (although my partner has a 7 year old boy)
I'm on cycle 6 of ttc and I'm on cycle day 60

I suffer from crazy irregular cycles That can range from 28 days right upto 98 days (that was a killer AF) so I'm temping (getting no joy) to see if I'm
Ovulating and generally trying to find out what the hell my body is doing!

I've followed you all for a while and I was inspired to join by kwik but also the rest of this awesome thread of ladies.

Bear with me while I get to grips with this, as this is my first ever post!

Congratulations poppet wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Welcome vi. Wow cd 60 , I can't imagine what that is like! i hope things start to settle down for you soon

Welcomevi!

Ha, Pyjamas, I only just spotted your post! I am very glad it helped and that his patronising interference has been dealt with

Hope you've had a lovely dinner out!

Welcome Vi, have you spoken to a doc about your cycles? That must be so frustrating for you!

Congrats on the BFP poppet, how exciting. Glad you're feeling well and I hope that continues for the next 9 months.

Welcome Vi! Sounds like you're dealing with very frustrating cycles - many of us have had similar so feel free to moan and whinge as much as you like.

Are there are signs of PCOS or anything else that might be causing them?

How awful to read about all the issues you ladies are having with you DH's at the moment.

Jam - I don't think this will make you feel any better but my OH is very similar when its comes to house issues. For example, our bathroom has been an absolute liability since we moved in 3 years ago. When it rained, the outside facing wall would have drip marks all down it where the rain was absorbing into the brick. Plus, our shower screen was leaking and the excess water was literally gouging a hole in the wall.

Here is a list of all the things I did to try and rectify the issues over the 3 years:

• stripped the paint from the walls
• applied a water sealant base coat
• repainted the walls x3 (because it flaked off multiple times)
• removed all the sealant from the bath and shower curtain
• reapplied new sealant
• took the shower screen apart and reassembled
• took the shower screen apart and used new hinges
• admitted defeat and got a quote from 5 builders (had to leave work early or take half days leave for this)
• took a half day off to walk the builder through the job
• managed all correspondence and payment with the builders whilst on the job

When the builder had finished, I knew the screen was still leaking because the fresh paint they'd applied had a large water stain on it. I obviously wanted the builder to come round and deal with the issue right away but I couldn't get the time off work. Luckily, OH was off sick so I told the builder to go round there right away to look at it. When I got home, the screen was still leaking and OH said that the builder couldn't find an issue with it so he'd told him I was probably being paranoid. I was absolutely furious, I got straight into the shower turned it on and lo and behold, water started running down the wall (even worse than it had done before!). Then OH had the audacity to go bat shit crazy (at me!) because I'd put him in control of a situation he hadn't been involved with from the start even though he really didn't care about any of it anyway. We both own 50% of the property so I really don't understand that attitude at all. This is just one of many issues over the 9 years we've been together, I've just accepted now that repairs, bills, changing suppliers, setting up bank accounts etc. is my burden alone.

Pyjamas - on the flip side to what I've said to Jam above, my OH does remarkably well on the TTC front. He will accept any new "fad" I throw at him without too much grumbling, but if I go out and contradict myself he doesn't really mind. I'm not too sure why you DH is reading into all this stuff so seriously though. I'm glad Penguin has given you some stuff to throw back in his face because if there is one thing that I've learnt in my 16 months TTC, its that you can't trust anything you read, online or offline. Online blogs and articles are only there to drive traffic to the domain, so they will simplify facts and information to make sure they are hitting major keywords and phrases on they can rank on google. And books are there to make money, so the authors will always put their two cents in there to make sure that their material offers something no other books have. This means, that we get a huge amount of conflicting information that really is of no help to us.

I think I stopped caring last year when (after self-diagnosing myself with Endometriosis) I decided to go on a strict Endo diet. I bought books, printed off articles and blogs and compiled a whole list things I could and couldn't eat. With all the information I had, I realised that I couldn't drink sugary drinks (fruit juice, fizzy or from concentrate), caffeine, alcohol...ok so far...milk (unless its unhomogenized, good luck finding it), water from the tap...cue disbelief...and water from plastic bottles. I put all my books down and thought to myself, what the fuck can I drink?!

And since then, I haven't given one absolute fuck. Don't get me wrong, I still try and be healthy and moderate things but life really is too short for all that. And you'll have 9 months of strict eating and drinking when you get your BFP so enjoy it while it lasts.

This is a mammoth post, sorry about that - I was just too ill earlier to reply. Now I'm going to go nurse my bleeding uterus. Also, congrats Poppet!

Thanks everyone!!!
Been tracking my cycles for 5 years, there's no rhyme or reason for the craziness. I had a laparoscopy last year to see if I had endo (no) due to horrendous period pain!
I can't tolerate the pill and tried the mirena. Had it taken out after 6 weeks due to constant panic attacks.
The Gynae suspected pcos without the cysts but won't do anything until I want a baby, which I guess is now? But do I need to wait 6 more months before I go see a doctor?

You guys have given me so much knowledge over the last few months so I hope I can contribute to this thread as much as you guys do!

I don't quite feel old enough to be having a
Baby yet but does anyone ever feel old enough?

jam I hear you require difficulties with getting your DH to do something. My DH is similar. He really finds it hard to get motivated. His anxiety disorder doesn't help with this.

Sometimes I end up snapping too (and feel guilty once I've calmed down). I find its good to sit down and explain how I feel whilst acknowledging he's feelings too. It helps him to see how much strain I might be under.

skipper sorry about af. Hopefully with squeaky clean tubes now, the next couple of cycles will bring you luck!

Congrats poppet!

Welcome Vi if you are having very irregular/long cycles it might be worth going to your GP and mentioning that you are ttc too. They may run some blood tests.

So I think I'm about 5dpo now. Skipper could you change my af date to 21/2 please?