Thread 25. TTC #1 - February Fertility Fighters on the FRONTLINE

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We've ditched the Gregorian calendar in favour of the TTC Cycle Day calendar, and we don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

We have a new Grad's Thread. We recently lost a whole load of ttc veterans to the good side and we're absolutely desperate to join in the fun! May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Hi everyone
Apologies am very behind on thread as am on a long weekend away but a couple of things I've scanned:
Inspector - just wanted to flag to you incase you are considering IVF at some point. We were told we couldn't start treatment for 6 months after visiting a zika infected country so hopefully nowhere you're visiting is affected? Thailand is sadly definitely on the list so worth checking with foreign office with your travel plans.
Kwick - hope you're holding it together. Still must be incredibly raw. Lots of hugs for you.
Re my AF, I'm due on tomorrow (12th). Not 10th (my mistake). But fully expecting it in a good way as then I start my first ivf cycle!
Catch you all soon.

Jam I had a cheeky hot cross bun yesterday. I like them cold with a ton of butter on

Inspector I'm doing good thanks. Had my 12 week scan the other day & baby was bouncing around in there which was a huge relief. Still can't help but worry that everything will stay ok though.

Pyjamas sorry to hear you've had a fight. TTC puts so much pressure on, I hope you manage to both talk it through today.

90% sure AF Is here.. So my first ever 28 day cycle happened after a miscarriage! Typical.... Either that or I'm having the mother of all implantation bleeding or my erosion is acting up.

Maybe just maybe the miscarriage has regulated things or the agnus castus is doing its job...

I am a bit worried that if it is AF that it's arrived just 6 days after ovulation (confirmed by OPKS). Has anyone else had this problem?

Happy weekend everyone!

I waited a couple of days to test again and it's confirmed with a clear blue digital. Just told DP and he is over the moon. Obviously the worrying doesn't stop here, AF is due today and I'm just hoping the witch stays away.

colour yay

Thanks for the list skipper!! Can you put me down for 11th March? This cycle was 27 days but last was 30 so 11th would be 31 days (and a Saturday, don't think I could be peeing in a pot & doing an IC at 5.50 am before work on a weekday!!) - giving AF a proper chance to appear!

Sorry about your row with DH pyjamas hope you've managed to sort it out this morning, TTC adds so much pressure things sometimes blow up that usually wouldn't.

Sorry you think AF is on its way Claire ** sorry I don't OPK or know a lot about lp lengths, but lots of the ladies on here do, so I'm sure one of them will be along with some

Congratulations again colour

How do I always bold fail??!! 🙈

Pyjamas, I hope you told your DH that the stress of him having a go at you was probably far more detrimental to your chances of TTC than having a couple of quick drinks after work! I have a lot of sympathy for you, this has really put a strain on our relationship too. Hope things are better today

It must be so exciting to see those words colour, congrats again!

Claire, I hope it isn't AF. 6 days does seem very short but I'm no expert. Hope you're doing okay

Anyone played Last Guardian on PS4? Just finished it and can't stop crying....

Yay congrats Claire! Wishing you a smooth pregnancy

There's something in the air. I've had an ALMIGHTY row with DH this morning. So bad I've stormed off for breakfast and the papers in a cafe alone to calm down! We are about to exchange contracts on our first ever home and he has dragged his feet been hesitant and fearful and negative the whole way through. Not arranged a single viewing not replied to a single email unless specifically asked. I've done everything. This morning he hits me with all the deepest fears and negativity eg Brexit, not affording mortgage repayments, something happening or changing, taking on huge debt - the full works. I've had this over and over and over again for months and got to the point where I printed out our bank statements and went through them line by line to tot up our outgoings and make sure we can afford this. Nothing has reassured him - he comes back with negativity at every turn and I've. Just. Had. It. I am so tired of being the one who has to push and be positive and make things happen! And then all of it the responsibility comes down on my shoulders because I'm the one making it happen! It's too much. I went absolutely mental at him - and shamefully brought up the fact he took 8 years to propose to me as an example of his total reluctance and fear to make decisions in life - and dramatically stormed off into the snow.

I'm so sorry for this ranting, I need to be on the AIBU board!!!

I just don't need this on top of TTC stress it's too much!!!

I hope your DH has apologised pyjamas that's totally unreasonable of him. And sorry you and yours are struggling at times too kath.

UGHHHHHHHH 😩

Sorry i meant congratulations colour
*
Claire* I hope it's not AF 🌷🌼

Sorry to hear about your fight Pyjamas, you definitely shouldn't be made to feel bad for having a couple of drinks, TTC is hard enough as it is. Perhaps he is feeling stressed about TTC and overreacted? Men are funny creatures!

Hope AF stays away Claire. I'm far from an expert on the subject but I believe a short luteal phase can make it harder to conceive (something to do with not producing enough progesterone). I'm sure someone more knowledgeable can give a better/more detailed reply though!

Jam that sounds so frustrating you've clearly put a lot of time and effort into this, it's a shame he's being so negative. Hopefully he will come round

Wow jam - sounds like a doozy of a fight - totally get how frustrated you must feel. The rage just bubbles over sometimes right?

Things not much better with Mr and Mrs Pyjamas. He's insisting that I stop drinking entirely and I'm not backing down on a couple of drinks when AF arrives because I don't think it will make one bit of difference and quite frankly I don't like being controlled. He hasn't apologised and is now accusing me of having a drinking problem.

What gets right up my crack is him thinking he's a ttc expert all of a sudden after reading one sodding chapter out of one tossing book after all I've done is read, google and research over last 8 months while he relies on me to let him know when the right time is.

Last week while I wasn't drinking he said 'don't go all boring and tee total', this week it's 'I'm worried about your drinking'. RAGE. He also didn't like that I made a spur of the moment decision to go for a couple so he didn't know what to do. He's a 41 year old man FFS.

And breathe...

Sorry guys, I will calm down soon!

pyjamas and jam

Congratulations colour!

So sorry things aren't good in the pyjamas & jam households hope things improve soon ladies xx

jam I can see your frustration. We bought a house last summer and it's a stressful full on process so it must be really hard not having his support. I hope you sort it out with him soon.

Hope you sort things out too pyjamas, sounds like you can't win either way! He's not being fair on you at all.

Hope it's not AF Claire

Congratulations colour

I'm not holding out much hope this cycle, my temperature dropped this morning and the cramping I've had everyday since O seems to have gone. I'm cd 24 but think AF will be here soon. I also cried and got upset last night because DH made himself a crumpet with chocolate spread and didn't offer to make me one... Yes you read that right 😂

I was quite excited as i always get ragingly sore boobs in luteal phase & i've had no boob pain at all the last 8 days since ovulation & even though we only dtd once in fw and i knew this cycle probably wasn't a good one i started to view my symptom change as positive. However today i've got my usual soreness back so think i maybe just ovulated later than i estinated. Ggrr.

Jam my last row with dh when he accused me of going on about having a baby & us doing things when i wanted to, caused me to have a psychotic break at him & point out the exact same thing as you. 7 years for a proposal when i wanted to marry & start a family years ago. He told me i was ungrateful.

pyjamas & jam! DH's - can't live with them, can't live without them!! TTC adds so much pressure to everything! Fx you're both able to get through to your DHs!

Thanks Ladies

Just an update the bleeding has completely stopped. Just some brown stuff now and only when I look for it....

We shall see. 6dpo seems ridiculously early for AF!!

These are the pages which have completely made him lose the plot - doesn't seem to understand that a couple of drinks when AF arrives is not quite the same!

Congrats *colour!!
*
🤞 for you 88

Now catching up on 'Enders while he sulks upstairs. Whatever!

Pyjamas I feel your rage!! Yes to the reading and researching too. We've spent the last year learning about sperm morphology, luteal phases, how an egg is released and 'caught' by the Fallopian tubes, about pineapple core and pressed and proxeed womb linings and god knows what else. How they can waltz in after one anecdote or half an internet article and cast aspersions is beyond me!! You are absolutely entitled to a couple of drinks after work and you don't have to have permission! The nurse the other day said to me a glass of wine after a stressful day is recommended as stress is more damaging than a sodding glass of wine!

Sorry your temp has dropped Miranda, I hope it doesn't mean you're out. Your crumpet tears made me smile with knowing! Those late cycle hormones are a killer.

EJ arghhhh I feel your pain. It's easier for them - their biological clocks tick far more quietly

Ooh Claire that sounds much more like implantation bleed than AF. Fx

I've used my remaining rage to clean the flat from top to bottom. There's nothing like a mard to get me hoovering. We are at a truce now reading the papers in a very clean tidy room! 😤

5 units or less! There you go pjs that's a lovely glass of vino

Pyjamas I am furious on your behalf!!

Your DH is helpfully quoting an article from 1998? Almost TWENTY years ago? He knows people were still smoking on planes then, right?

This is what pisses me off so much about these sorts of books. I don't know which one that is or who wrote it, but the pedalling of out of date, uninformed, biased 'research' and opinion and dressing it up as fact makes me so angry.

Do your DH a favour and buy him a copy of Ben Goldacre's Bad Science so he can see how poor that book he is using to emotionally manipulate you and control your behaviour with is.

In the meantime, you can show him this article which was published in the BMJ last August which showed no discernible reduction in pregnancy rates amongst those drinking up to 14 servings per week.*
The text is a bit scientific but there is a short video on there too which outlines the study and results in a clear way.

I assume that he is living by his own rules and is tee total himself? Given that alcohol intake has been shown to have a much greater effect on sperm quality than it does on women?

Seriously, I'd be livid!!

*the study doesn't go on to advocate drinking 14 servings a week when TTC
**I don't know why all the scientific studies are Danish

Jam for you. I'm glad you've been able to calm down and put your anger to good use. I'm almost tempted to engineer an argument with DP as this place needs a bloody good clean and tidy. Sadly he's sleeping on-site for the next few days during his long shifts.

I get the frustration you feel at your DH dragging his heels. My ex took 6 or 7 years to propose to me and although at the time I said I didn't mind, I think it hurt me more than I realised - it certainly came up a lot when we were raking over things in marriage counselling. I saw all these other couples getting married after 2 or 3 years and took his hesitance to mean he just wasn't that into me.
Looking at it now though I don't think that was necessarily the case - and is not the reason we are now divorced!

When you live and work in London almost no-one gets married before 30 these days and so when you meet someone in your early twenties (as you must have done?) it's pretty much inevitable that you are together a long time before getting engaged.

House buying is hugely stressful too, of course. You two have a perfect storm of stress going on right now but honestly, once you're through this and settled in your amazing new home you will be so much stronger than most other couples out there. This time is hard but it WILL pass.

Thank you for your incredibly helpful and thoughtful reply inspector. I really hope these things are making our marriage stronger. I'm worried about how much we've been arguing recently and the long term effects of that. We need to work on helping each other through it as a team rather than it pulling us apart.

I can completely sympathise with how you felt to your ex, that describes really well how I felt - that his hesitance was a sign of his feelings towards me. He thinks I'm still resentful about it. In my weakest crappest moments I probably am