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Conception

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Original poster

WHEN CAN I TTC AFTER AN ECTOPIC PREGNANCY?

30 replies

lissielou · 17/02/2007 17:00

my 1st instinct was never again.

but if i dont ttc then my beans have given their lives for nothing. when can i ttc again?

OP posts:
Original poster
lissielou · 17/02/2007 17:45

?

OP posts:
Calliope · 17/02/2007 17:51

I think the general advice is to wait three months to give yourself time to recover, physically and emotionally.

lulumama · 17/02/2007 17:55

honey..you need to recover from surgery....

i imagine that 6 weeks after you will be healed physically pretty well, it is whether emotionally ready

i think the 3 month rule was more to do with dating a pregnancy and the dating is so much better and more accurate now, but i might be wrong..

yahoo group here and ectopic trust will no doubt have excellent info for you x

Fingerscrossed2007 · 17/02/2007 18:06

Was just about to post and then realised that lulumama had written some of what eg on people to talk to.

I think the timing thing is a very personal thing. Even with my best friends experience of ectopic (which took her to hours from death) the obstetrian said to ttc was soon as SHE was ready. Physically she recovered quite quickly (despite being nearer 40 than 30) but emotionally she was quite rocky. That said she was pregnant her next cycle before her follow up check and now has a lovely 6 month old. Not suggesting that you should start tomorrow, just see how you go but make sure you are looking after yourself now. Lots of nutricious food and TLC. Only YOU will know when you are ready x

Calliope · 17/02/2007 18:06

I would say dating is very important when trying again after an ectopic as it is very nerve-wracking when you get pregnant again, and you will want to arrange an early scan at 6 weeks to check all is well. It is good if you have had at least a couple of normal periods and are pretty sure what stage of your cycle you are at.

I waited three months after my ectopic and I definitely needed that time to recover as I got pregnant again immediately. I am very glad I gave myself a break in between!

Original poster
lissielou · 18/02/2007 11:26

.

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PinkElephant · 18/02/2007 11:30

Lissielou - my ectopic happened 7wks ago. I was given strict instructions to wait 3 months before TTC again. Have a look at the ectopic trust info - its really helpful. Are you having an HSG xray to check your tubes are ok etc? I'm having one done next month. Good luck.

Original poster
lissielou · 18/02/2007 11:34

they had to open me up after the initial op coz of internal bleeding and they found then that my remaining tube is a mess. got an appt with a fertility doc on the 1st and test follow ups in may. i just dont want to wait that long iykwim.

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PinkElephant · 18/02/2007 11:41

Lissie - I've read about what happened to you and its sounds terrifying. I really would give your body some time to be honest. I was told that your fallopian tubes are inflammed for a while after an ectopic and need time to recover. Apparently you are more likely to suffer another one if its too soon. I think they give the 3 month guidance for various reasons, the main reason for me was that the methotrexate injection takes 3months to get out of my system, therefore its not a wise move to get pregnant. Have a read of the ectopic trust website - they answered all my questions. Believe me I know it seems like such a long wait....but you'll get there. You're poor body has been through so much that its even more reason to use the three months to recover

Fingerscrossed2007 · 18/02/2007 11:53

Lissie - I've just caught up with your other postings and its obvious that your situation is both physically and emotionally very complicated.

You really need to give yourself time to think about what you do next. That may take longer than the time you could physicaly try again. When is your next appt with the hospital or is your GP doing follow up ?

Original poster
lissielou · 18/02/2007 14:45

got to have my catheter removed tomorrow.

the bean and tube were removed by laproscopy but then i was rushed back in for a laporectomy(sp)to stop internal bleeding. im just so torn between being terrified and wanting to put it right

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eviletc · 18/02/2007 14:55

lissie babe - please take time. you're young and you potentially have years to ttc in. please please rest and heal, physically and emotionally. i know how desperate the situation may feel and how scary it must be not to be certain of anything, but please, please, please just take time for yourself, your dh and ds. just a bit. please.
xxx

PeachyClair · 18/02/2007 14:58

Lissie hun

yesterday you wanted to do a degree- now you want to conceive immediately

tell me to piss off if you want, but are you feeling a bit lost? because if you are thats understandable.

Given the damage to your fallopian tubes, i can understand you wouldn't want to wait forever- but the mroe inflamed they are the higher the risk of an ectopic.

Give yourself a bit of time, sweetheart! Not for ever- but at least don't go rushing in wothout a chat with the GP

Original poster
lissielou · 18/02/2007 15:01

a bit, i was going to do the introduction course anyway while i was pg and i suppose im just trying to clutch at things to make me feel worthwhile and better iykwim

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lulumama · 18/02/2007 15:02

i said a similar thing too peachy..it is really understandable that you want a distraction or a focus, but time to heal, grieve and get your head straight is just so important, and no necessary...

i really think lissie, on balance,that you should delay TTC until you have seen the doc .

i know it is easy for me to say and i remember the overwhelming ticking of the biological clock., but don;lt be in a hurry..you need to recover...xxxxx

PeachyClair · 18/02/2007 15:05

The worst outcome though is another ectopic isn't it? And if trying immediately increases that, is it worth the risk?

I DO know where you are coming from- I had eclampsia with ds1 (as in the full fitting thing) and ds2 was conceived 5 months after I had ds1. It didn't get me off the inevitable crash though, it just bought me time, and then i had to deal with and 2 small children as well. I felt very strongly at the time that I needed to move on and deal with PG before it became a phobia (I had hg as well) but although I'm glad I did it as I have ds2, it wasn't the wisest of moves in many ways.

Original poster
lissielou · 18/02/2007 15:06

i know, and the rational, normal side of me is thinking stay calm, you have lots of options

but the bit of me that craves instant gratification is saying FIX THIS NOW! stop feeling ill and shitty, pull yourself out of it.

am i making sense?

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lulumama · 18/02/2007 15:06

i have a 6 year gap due to my severe PND, triggered by a bad birth experience.. waiting was the absolute best thing i did......

lulumama · 18/02/2007 15:07

perfect sense, but you are fixing nothing by TTC immediately, because you are not addressing how you are feeling, but pushing it down with TTC...

IFYSWIM

PeachyClair · 18/02/2007 15:09

Course you're making sense! Lots of.

Is there anything else you can use as a diversion, just while you heal a bit? Maybe planning a holiday or decorating- anything you use to give you a focus, just for a few months.

I found that volunteering for some relevant charities really help-ed as it helped me work it through whilst still feeling I was giving.

Original poster
lissielou · 18/02/2007 15:09

i just feel that instead of getting better at this child-bearing thing im getting worse. and im not comfortable being in my shoes at the mo.

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PeachyClair · 18/02/2007 15:11

Honestly I think you need a bit of support- we're always here of course (in myc ase pretty much literally altrhough DH is hovering to use ebay LOL) but do any of the Ectopic support groups have a counselling or support service? because peer support is a really good way to move forwards carefully

lulumama · 18/02/2007 15:13

agree with peachy...did you get in touch with the BTA ? re DS;s birth? how about doing the 10 week counselling course, that is 10 weeks, whihc will be a good course and a good way to distract yourself

tbh, i think the added pressure of TTC and the possibility of things not going smoothly is too much for you right now. IMO

Original poster
lissielou · 18/02/2007 15:14

thats why i wanted to do the counselling course i suppose. i was going to do my degree after bean was born but... and ive tried to go back to my old job, but it was an unmitigated disaster. i need focus, and i need to get my life back to normal but ttc wouldnt be the best thing for me at the mo, i do see that, but i dont want to leave it too long til it becomes (as peachyclair says) a phobia

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lulumama · 18/02/2007 15:17

no, i see...not saying you should wait as long as i did ! but 3 - 6 months is not a lot in the grand scheme of things?