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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Support thread anyone?

13 replies

Mammabear31 · 29/11/2016 08:39

Hi all.

Have been trying to TTC #2 for a while now, am at the end of cycle 10. Today I am 11dpo and AF is due Thursday, and have just got, again, the whitest ever BFN. I fell pregnant twice before on my first cycle (mc then DS1) and now I am finding this so, so hard. Every frigging day I am asked if we'll have another - DS1 is 4 in the new year and will be starting school in the September, which means we will have to put ttc on hold now for a couple of months otherwise I would be due in September too, which is too much for us all to deal with at once (plus it doesn't seem fair on poor DS1).

I've tried everything. I take 5 vitamins every night including agnus castus, I've totally quit drinking for 2 months, cut out alot of fat, sugar and bad carbs. I drink lots of water and green tea, and we DTD very regularly. Yet every month, on day 28 or 29, AF shows up like a slap in the face.

Anyone else in the same situation? Misery loves company and all that..

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Original poster

Mammabear31 · 29/11/2016 10:50

This is now my 3rd thread/post that has had no reply on these boards. I have no-one to talk to that understands. Am i posting in the wrong place?

Everything I do is for and about everyone else, all I wanted was a space where I could be about me and just say that everything is so totally bloody shite right now. I fucking hate this and wish I knew what was wrong with me.

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Rubyslippers7780 · 29/11/2016 10:57

There is probably nothing wrong. You are beating yourself up - stress is a factor so just relax. How long have you been trying? Sometimes it feels like forever but if less than 6 months don't panic. Make an appointment with your doctor if longer. If your cycle is regular and you are healthy it can still take a while - the actual window to concieve is really small. Lower stress levels ( difficult I know ) if you can and talk to your doctor.

Original poster

Mammabear31 · 29/11/2016 11:10

At the end of cycle 10. DH went to the GP about something unrelated a couple of weeks ago and mentioned that we were having trouble, but the GP just said to keep trying and do what we're doing and to come back when we've been trying for a year (will be March). He's 34 and I'm 31 so they won't do anything before that. It's so frustrating when it was so easy before, and nothing has changed. I have no-one I can talk to, my best friend isn't interested and while DH gets it, he's not as upset as I am. This week is always the worst!

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Rubyslippers7780 · 29/11/2016 11:14

Vent away on here! People understand and you are not alone. Take care of yourself. Ignore those nosey parkers asking if you are pregnant yet... not worth bothering about. I always find it so rude. Focus on you.

Original poster

Mammabear31 · 29/11/2016 13:03

Thank you Ruby. Feeling quite alone right now.

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delilahbucket · 29/11/2016 13:42

You're at that awkward stage of TTC longer than a lot of people on here, or not as long as people like me. I can sympathise, we are on cycle 22/23 (not sure anymore). I remember being where you are now. As it happens, we got an infertility diagnosis that cannot be cured in July. As soon as cycle 12 came around I was straight to the gp for tests, hoping something was wrong so it could be fixed and we would be on our merry way. Nothing could prepare us for the outcome.
Don't think your dh doesn't feel upset. I thought that about my dp but it turned out he was just hiding it well to support me.
It does sound like you're extremely stressed, but I'm not going to tell you to chill out because it isn't that easy.
Something you've not said you have tried is things like bbt monitoring. This will tell you what day you ovulate on (pretty much) and you can get an early indication of whether you have any problems with ovulation.
Chin up and keep going, because there is no other option

MrsY87 · 29/11/2016 17:44

Hi mumma I can totally sympathise with how you are feeling....we started ttc #2 in march, after having fallen first cycle with DD I naively expected it to be as easy this time, however it hasn't been at all. I fell pregnant in July but sadly miscarried in August at 6 weeks and then again in October so it's been a rough ride so far and i feel like there is a long way to go still. I am also so fed up of people asking me when I'm going to have another, I've actually started being quite blunt and find myself saying we're trying quite firmly which tends to shut them up!

I've found myself getting increasingly stressed by how long it is taking too (plus I have a stressful job) so I have started acupuncture to firstly help me relax and also help with fertility. It's not cheap but it makes me feel like I am doing something positive to help.

Have you tried temping? I've started doing that and using opks (both I knew nothing about when ttc DD) and have again found that it's made me feel like I'm doing everything I can.

It might be worth trying your GP again, I've found some are slightly more sympathetic than others and may do some blood tests in the meantime, alternatively you can self refer to a consultant privately if you can afford it?

I had never realised how tough ttc could be, it really is all consuming isn't it.

MrsY87 · 29/11/2016 17:46

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis Delilah

Original poster

Mammabear31 · 30/11/2016 08:54

Oh Delilah I'm so sorry for your diagnosis. What are your options going forward?

Chin up and keep going, because there is no other option this has rung so true with me. Thank you.

I'm so sorry for your miscarriages MrsY. I had one before DS1 at 6 weeks and it was one of the hardest things I have ever been through; especially as I was told by a consultant that I was "just having a normal period" . I hope you're looking after yourself.
A colleague has recommended acupuncture and I work in a building that offers it, so I may ask one of the nurses to try me with a needle - am a bit phobic!

I have bought a BBT but am not keen on temping....however come February I think I will be willing to try!

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Original poster

Mammabear31 · 01/12/2016 09:00

Another morning, another BFN. AF due today, CD29 and 13dpo. Feeling very very sad today.

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Writerwannabe83 · 01/12/2016 09:08

Hi Mama, sorry you are feeling so low.

I'm trying to conceive #2 and am currently on my 10th cycle.

I caught pregnant with DS on cycle 1 and so assumed it would just as easy this time round. I did get pregnant this time round on cycle 1 this time too but unfortunately I miscarried at 5/6 weeks and then it's been 9 months of BFNs.

It is pretty shit.

I'm 33 and DH is 34 and our DS will be three in March.

Original poster

Mammabear31 · 01/12/2016 09:23

You're in exactly the same boat as me writer - on CD29 of cycle 10. I'm so sorry about your miscarriage

No-one gets it, do they? The all consuming sadness and anger of this TTC joke.

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Writerwannabe83 · 01/12/2016 11:22

I'm on a deadline too as DH says if we haven't conceived by July then we stop trying. Everyone keeps telling me that July is "ages away" but it's only 6 cycles and if I've had 10 failed cycles so far then why are things suddenly going to change?

I detatch myself from it a little bit as I find it less upsetting. I'm actually in a phase of acceptance now that it's just not going to happen and I find resigning myself to that has helped.

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