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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC no 2 for older mums

55 replies

patkica · 01/02/2007 15:58

Hi, I am 39 and am ttc no 2. I had ds when I was 36 and got pregnant almost at once. I have heard so many statistics and scare stories that I am starting to think it will never happen again for me. We've only tried for one month and I think I may have had an early m/c so am feeling a bit sad. But I would love to hear from others who are in a similar situation or have been or have advice.

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claraq · 22/02/2007 12:44

Blessed
Well you must have plenty of patience if you have been trying for 2.5 years. I can't stand it when AF arrives every month and you have to wait another approx two weeks until you can even start trying again and then that wretched wait until you know one way or another. And during that time you start thinking every little twinge is one thing or another (either period coming or pregnancy!) when it is probably just a twinge!!! Last month I was certain I was pregnant so this time am really trying not to get hopes up. Hopefully will know this time next week. It's just frustrating as I don't really feel like making any plans for holidays etc - you just feel like your whole life is on hold. It would be easier if I knew I couldn't have another, but this probably isn't any reason why I can't. I am just ultra impatient!!!

Blessed2 · 22/02/2007 13:08

I know what you mean!!! The different twinges you feel in your body are incredible especially when ttc! I wanted to book a holiday for 1/2 term oct 2007 but I SHOULD BY BE PREGNANT THEN. Its always the same - everything is on hold.

mmk · 22/02/2007 13:12

oh claraq, you make me feel better!

I had actually come back to apologise in case my earlier message had caused offence to anyone. Plenty of people conceive late 30's early 40's. I tend to forget that, as I tend to spend a lot of time supporting those at the very far end of the conceiving spectrum.I'm not a medical practitioner, but over the years have learned from hundreds of hours of research.
I feel for anyone in the conception phase, it was utter agony for us, that lasted 12 years. Every single month, we did everything we could for months and years, all to no avail at all.
I would like to point out that spontaneous ovulation is responsible for 85% of pregnancies, and explains why trying just doesn't work.
Spontaneous ovulation occurs when you are being naughty with your partner. The surge of hormones causes and egg to suddenly be ripened and released when you don't even know about it, so it doesn't matter at all when you do it. Also, the hormone (is it cortisone) which results from stress and worry, adversley affects egg production and quality. So, statistically your best chance is having a few large drinks and some you know what.

These things are fine for people who have no medical problems. (for those that do, don't waste valuable time, get onto waiting lists) Also, don't forget to get your Foresight vitamin programme on the go, to boost fertility and prevent preggy loss.

OH dear, I'm going on again!

twinklemummy · 22/02/2007 19:16

hi i,ve been ttc2 nearly 3yrs

this does give me hope as i,m sure i concieved this way with our 1st over 5 yrs and feel now i,m producing too micu of the stress hormone

I would like to point out that spontaneous ovulation is responsible for 85% of pregnancies, and explains why trying just doesn't work.
Spontaneous ovulation occurs when you are being naughty with your partner. The surge of hormones causes and egg to suddenly be ripened and released when you don't even know about it, so it doesn't matter at all when you do it. Also, the hormone (is it cortisone) which results from stress and worry, adversley affects egg production and quality. So, statistically your best chance is having a few large drinks and some you know what.

twoisenoughmum · 22/02/2007 20:14

I'm not TTC anymore (hence the name) but since you asked for TTC no. 2 for older mums experience - I got pregnant with no. 1 at age 37 after trying for 9 - 12 months (unbelievably I can't remember the exact stats now) and no. 2 aged 40 after 5 months. I know exactly how it feels ... and getting wound up is the worst thing of all. If you are seriously stressed, I would advise a couple of months deliberately NOT trying. Avoid sex at your most fertile times. Then book a fabulous holiday somewhere exotic 9 to 12 months hence from when you start trying again. Very very good luck to all.

twinklemummy · 26/02/2007 21:24

trying that now the debil not trying still no good

Blessed2 · 27/02/2007 11:53

I finally decided to buy a clearblue fertility monitor! I'm watching a few on ebay - but the prices are exhorbitant!!! Still cheaper than buying it at Boots. I've already bought Clearblue Opk (digital) to use this month and then, hopefull - if not preggi - then the monitor can be used from end March/April. I'm getting on and if I dont have twins the I will have to get two dds plopped out within the next 2.5 years!!! I dont want anymore after 43

twinklemummy · 28/02/2007 21:18

good luck

fresco · 11/03/2007 09:52

patkika, you are never too old.its inside you are old if i may say.i am 38 now and ttc for no3 (dds just died at 10 weeks) but i am blessed with 2 girls.i started my family when i was 35 and for the last 3 years been pg, one after the other .if my plans go well, i hope at 39 i can have my 3rd and hopefully one year later a last one. my dreams has always been to have 4 kids.a lot of ladies here where i stay even get pg at 42/43.
MMK congratulations!! i am very happy for you and do hope things go smoothly for you hen

sfxmum · 11/03/2007 14:23

hi all
we are also trying for number two, well sort of anyway.
am 38 dd is 21m.
i seem to be more tense this time around
good luck all

mamalex · 13/03/2007 19:04

Hi, I just want to say that I had ds when I was well over 40 (42) and now that I am 46 and dp 43, we are trying for no2. It doesn't seem to happen easily this time, but I won't give up.Fingers crossed for all us all!

fresco · 14/03/2007 06:44

good luck to you mamalex.i am sure that it will happen.xx

patkica · 23/03/2007 11:54

Is anyone still here?

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sideways · 23/03/2007 11:55

Hi patkice, I'm still around

patkica · 23/03/2007 13:13

Great to hear from you. I've been reading and taking hope from people's positive news. How are you? I'm 2 dpo, having bd'ed more than ever in my life this month. It's exhausing and not much fun really, but we reckon we'll get back to fun sex in the future sometime.

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sideways · 23/03/2007 14:15

I'm verging on CD1 - will either be tomorrow or day after.

Been trying for a year not, tests show everything normal, so not sure what to do now.

patkica · 26/03/2007 09:30

Hi again, what have the doctors said? My own GP told me not to believe what I read in magazines and to assume it would be ok so I'm trying to be hopeful. It's hard not to think about it all the time though. I'm about a week or so away from AF so am entering that awful waiting stage. Feel pretty sure I had period pains alread so not overly hopeful. DS keeps telling me he wants baby sister called 'monster'.

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Mumfun · 26/03/2007 21:34

Hi

You did ask for good stories. I had great difficulty having DS - took 2 years from when I was 36 to having him near to 39th birthday.

Then thought I was pregnant just before 40 - was so convinced that I didnt even take PG test. Then very late AF was a bit devastating. All this at New year time. Was very fed up as came to my 40th birthday and was not pg. But then fell pg 2 months after and had lovely DD just 9 days before 41st birthday.

SO it can happen. I had come to terms with fact that I might not have another - I think that helped me but I know its very hard to do. I was helped by fact TBH that some close friends havent managed to have any DC so I did feel lucky to have DS.

HTH a bit

sideways · 26/03/2007 22:01

Thanks for sharing that mumfun and congratulations on your dd.

patkica - the drs said there was nothing wrong with dp and all my tests were good too. They have referred me to the hospital for a lap and dye (I think) and I will try and get that done in the next few weeks.

Part of me tries very hard to believe that it will be ok, the other part laughts out loud!

lizziemun · 26/03/2007 22:16

I was 34 when i fell with dd but it had taken us two years for this to happen.

I am now 37 and pregnant with our 2nd. DD was 10 months when started ttc for number 2, she is now 3yrs old.

To be honest by last november i thought what the point it's never going to happen and we didn't do any bady dancing until dec 8th both a bit drunk after a family wedding and it just happened, i am now 18wks.

I don't know whether it was we were both relaxed, i mean got over the stress of it not happening or the time was just right.

patkica · 27/03/2007 10:15

Thanks everyone for the happy stories and congratulations. I have several friends who've had good news lately. Two of them had kind of given up and then it just happened, but another treid for 2 years, hit 40.5 and insisted on clomid (sp). Got pregnant in cycle 1 with that. Have any of you tried it?

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patkica · 03/04/2007 11:48

Just in case anyone is still here, I wanted to say that I got a BFP yesterday. Very nervous as it's early days, but very, very excited too.

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LittleMissLate · 03/04/2007 13:21

Congratulations and good luck ! Not ttc yet as only had dd 4 mths ago but will be 36 when we start trying for no 2 so interested in this thread. Fingers crossed it happens as fast as the first time (2 mths) as i have heard a bit about secondary infertility which got me worried. Hoping my cycle returns to normal quickly once I stop bf and the mini-pill - still not had AF but don't think that's too unusual.

Mumfun · 03/04/2007 15:47

oh lots of congratulations Patkica. How exciting! Hope it all goes well!

patkica · 04/04/2007 15:19

Thanks a million. Very, very excited. I will be 40 when the baby is born. It makes me feel old but also incredibly young too.

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