Struggling to conceive and loosing my patience

[sk1pper]

Hi,

My other half and I have been trying for a baby since last August. I'm 28 and he's 35. We have literally tried everything and I'm starting to loose hope now. I know it can take a year, maybe two but we're so dedicated to this I feel like it shouldn't be taking this wrong.

We've changed our diets dramatically, we're cooking a lot of vegetarian dishes to cut meat from our diets. We're completely excluding caffeine, alcohol and sugary drinks - only drinking water. We're eating things like bananas, sunflower seeds, shellfish and fish which are meant to be fertility super foods. I'm on Pregnacare supplements (have been since last August) and he's now starting taking Centrum for men.

We are walking everywhere, even walking into town and back at the weekend which is a 20 mile round trip. I've always been a good weight but he's lost 3 stone as a result so I'd say we are now in peak physical condition.

And I'm doing the ovulation tests to check my fertility but I don't really need to, my cycle is like clockwork and we're having enough sex that I don't really feel like it matters anyway.

Is there any thing else I can be doing? Or should I be thinking of going to the Doctor yet?

It sounds like you are doing everything right. Maybe s chat with your GP wouldn't do any harm. I don't think they will help you till you've been trying longer but a nice GP might run some initial bloodwork for you?

I personally would be thinking about going private for some tests. Keeping in mind it really can take a year or so anyway. But I'd be impatient too and wanting to find out sooner rather than later if there was a problem.

Hi skipper sorry to hear you're struggling. I'm 29 DH 38 so similar ages and have been trying since October. I however was not having periods and have been diagnosed with pcos (I'm skeptical about this but that's another thread). I visited my GP who was fab and sent us for tests. I think you should do the sam even just for peace of mind

Thanks both, I think you are right - if just for my peace of mind.
Is it something we should both be going to or do you think I'm okay to go in for a preliminary chat on my own?

Also, I have private health care through work so I could use that...

Sorry to hear you're getting fed up OP, I'm sure there's a TTC thread on here that describes it as "mind numbing and boring" so I bet that's ringing true with you.

Honestly, reading your post the thing that stands out for me is your almost obsession with getting pregnant. I'm lead to believe that relaxation and being stress free is key! It's not all about precise ovulation and diet control. If you do decide to have tests then fingers crossed everything is fine and it's just you guys overthinking it all on the flip side, well done for doing so well with your fitness!

It took my DH and I 20months and like you we did everything. I however went for tests after 8/9 months (and told a little lie about how long we had been trying) and I'm glad as i did. It turned out nothing was 'wrong' but we got pregnant the month of my laproscipy and the month before our first IVF appt. May have because I was relaxed or the laparoscopy flushed me out or just pure chance...

Re the rest process they do you first and then your DH. It's really hard for DH as they have to do it in cup then take the cup at a certain temperature in a given time frame... And they need to do it twice.

I know this is no consolation at all but if we got pregnant sooner the baby I would
Have would not be the perfect little boy I have.

Also, I then got pregnant again three months after I stopped BF-ing without any tracking so it really was just 'luck' that took so long last time. Sadly that pregnancy ended in MC and I'm back on the tracking stuff but trying to give the rest of the 'crazy' a miss for at least while longer.

Very very good luck to you xx

Sorry it's taking a while OP. However I have to agree with YorkieDorkie - try and relax a bit, go out on Friday and drink! You can't go through this having a miserable time day to day - eating a bit of what you want and having a drink or two isn't going to harm your chances - nor will taking the bus I know it's probably the most annoying thing to hear, but relaxing may really help.

I feel your pain. We are now into cycle 14. Child no 2 for me, first for dp. I'm losing the will to live tbh. I lost a shed load of weight last year and embarked on a new lifestyle regime. By Christmas I gave that up. I have maintained my lower weight so have not undone my hard work, but I drink wine and coffee and eat cake!
We have our first fertility appointment next week and I'm having a scan as part of it. I would say a chat with a doctor (or even nurse practitioner like I did) is worth it. My cycles give me reason to believe all is not normal so I went a couple of months ago. She agreed and requested bloods to be done. All came back ok and so dp was tested. His is fine so it's off to a specialist we go.

Ladies, thanks for all your kind words. This is actually my first time on mumsnet and I've found talking to other people in similar situations very comforting.

I know its probably nothing to worry about, I'm just frustrated. I've taken your words to heart and actually had a G&T at a wedding this weekend - that was all I had but it was still good not sticking to my strict regime.

Weirdly, the conversations about conception came up round my mum's house recently (my sister is a nurse for a premature baby ward, so maybe not so much of a coincidence). Apparently it took my mum 18 months to conceive me (I'm her first child) and only a month for my sister. I haven't told them that I'm trying for a baby but it has made me feel a little better, still 18 months is such a long time.

It feels like forever when you're going through it. Putting your life on hold makes it harder I think. We put off booking a holiday and in the end just booked it. Now I would only be 11 weeks at most when we go if I fall this month.

It's annoying we've been trying since October and all women in my family fall pregnant straight away! We haven't told anyone although people never stop asking!

Don't give up, took dh and I around 18 cycles although I was losing count! It is such a crappy time especially when everyone around seems to be announcing pregnancies!

One thing I realised was how common it is for it to take months for some people, even without any fertility issues. I tried acupuncture and I'm convinced that had a positive effect on our efforts, but I also wonder if maybe we'd been having sex at the wrong times as when I had my 12 week scan for baby, they said I was actually 13 weeks.. So perhaps I'd been mis timing ovulation?

Anyway, don't give up and try not to let it take over your life, I am sure you will get there soon

I know exactly how you feel OP. It's been 14 months for us, both are fine apparently, spent over a thousand pound on private tests (which I would recommend over the NHS, still waiting for my appointment!) I'm on my 2nd month of clomid and I just feel like it's never going to happen. I'd definitely get the ball rolling with your gp and he send you off for your initial blood tests and your dps semen analysis. Tell them you've been trying for a year. Good luck op and everyone on here im losing the will now xx