Chemical pregnancy number 3

[AmandaJL41]

Hello all.

I'm new to Mumsnet, so I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place.

A little back-story. At 39 I had an ectopic & lost a tube. Very next month, pregnant with my son (only child for me & DH). Had 13 wonderful months, didn't plan any more kids. He died in November very suddenly of septicaemia. Since then, as well as grieving, we've tried to conceive again. In 5 cycles of trying, we've caught 3 times, but each time it's the same. BFPs for a week or so that don't progress, eventually a BFN & then bleeding starts a few days later. I've tried to attach a pic of what's happening now. The top line was 11 dpo, the bottom one today at 15 dpo. I had a much fainter one at 13 dpo. Just waiting it out again.

The GP ran blood tests for pre & post-ov hormones, thyroid, diabetes etc. All normal. Post-ov progesterone level of 31 (UK). I'm 41, so I accept that age will be playing a part.

Has anyone had a similar experience? I can find a lot online about 1 or 2 CPs but not 3. Does anyone have any advice? My GP has agreed a second progesterone test & also to test for sticky blood. Since losing my boy, the chance to be a mum again is the only thing keeping me going. These repeated blows seem so cruel

Thanks for reading xxx

I'm so sorry about everything you've been through Amanda. Those lines are definitely getting darker so I'm keeping everything crossed for you that this is good news.

I'm so sorry about your little boy, Amanda. Every parent's worst nightmare for you to go through.

Hopefully this website will help re hcg:

m.huggies.com.au/pregnancy/early-stages/symptoms/hcg-levels

I posted it loads when TTC myself. I think it's quite helpful. I think your tests are looking promising though. Good luck!

Those tests are definitely getting darker!! I think you can be cautiously optimistic :) And no, we never did find out any answers. I was paranoid as anything though! I took dozens of tests in the first six weeks just to see the lines going darker.

Sapph1r3, that's so weird. So how long after your first BFP were you getting negatives? Did they suddenly kick back in, or gradually fade back in? Yes, these damn pee sticks are ruling my life at the moment! I'm feeling more optimistic today, but as you rightly say, with caution. Having the previous 2 CPs have left me completely paranoid. Everyone says 'step away' but I can't because of the ectopic risk. If it's another ectopic I'll need to get the ball rolling ASAP. Ggggrrrr! This wait is just horrible!xxx

I was joining the thread to recommend the implantation clinic at University Hospital, Coventry, run by Profs Quenby and Brosens. I see from your updates things are progressing in the right direction so I will cross everything for you that you have no need of their services, but for anyone else in a similar situation they are marvellous. It's self funded NHS treatment and you can self refer, they try to help anyone with repeated pregnancy losses or IVF failures. They helped me have DD after 4 losses and so many women on the recurrent miscarriage threads have similar success.
I really hope your luck is turning, OP, you deserve some happiness.

Hi Amanda,

So sorry to hear of the loss of your little boy, that's just so sad X

I have had five miscarriages 4 being chemical, still trying for that sticky bean and oh boy is it so hard! So I completely understand the desperate need to POAS from a week after ovulation and then every single bloody day afterwards, and how the parnoia sets in, they do complete rule your life and for me the innocence of pregnancy has been completely lost iyswim, the first time where we made it to what I thought was 10 weeks I never suffered with this obsession of sticks/anxiety/pure panic or self blame of things going wrong (it is not anyone's fault) I am 38 fast approaching 39 and this does play a huge factor on the anxiety/panic. I would ask your GP about the reoccurent miscarriage clinic in your local area there must be one near by somewhere (or would like to think so) I have had so much support from them it's been invaluable.

But hang in there because a positive is a positive and just because you have had three chemical pregnancies doesn't mean your have another one! - I'm also repeatedly told that whilst it doesn't make it any easier to you as a woman who wants a baby so much that it is actually more common than you think and it's only because people don't POAS so early they don't realise it is happened - I know very early when I'm pregnant so I think I would guess anyway but I'm with you I would prefer to know and deal with it than not! But it doesn't mean the next one will be.

And those lines do appear to be getting darker :) I would speak to your GP about getting progesterone suppositories if you haven't already it is what my miscarriage clinic put all ladies on from the second they get a BFP (even a faint one) as it can be helpful, I'm discussing baby aspirin with them next time I see them as I have heard this can help...

I wish you so much luck and I hope that this is a very sticky baby for you! Also don't forget those sticks may get lighter if your urine is more diluted. I pee for Britian about a week after ovulation if I'm pregnant and drink gallons so it could just be your urine is more diluted

Keeping nearly everything crossed for you ;)

Miloarmadillo1, that's really helpful advice, thank you so much. Hoping we won't need it, but great that it's there if we do. We live in Staffordshire and I know there isn't a recurring miscarriage unit within our NHS trust. I think the nearest would be Birmingham or Burton. I'm not sure. I know our local trust is broke, so we won't get anything on the NHS. Apparently I'm 'too old' for fertility treatment under their local guidance, even though NICE guidelines put the limit at 43. Ggrrr.

Kittensandknitting, I really hope you get your healthy little one soon. I'm so sorry it's been such a difficult journey for you. Like you, not testing wouldn't stop me from knowing anyway! I'm not normally a POASaholic - I only test when I'm already sure I'm pregnant. I've only been wrong and misinterpreted PMS symptoms once. I'm really hoping that the wild variation in the FRERs are to do with dilution, dye strength etc. The Superdrug ones seem far more consistent. Thanks for all the positive vibes!

Xxx

I was told after 38 and a half by my GP it was highly likely I would not get any fertility help on the NHS. But thankfully lots of support from the clinic and EPU when we get that far, it really is a post code lottery it would seem!

I always use same sticks for consistency but I don't think it makes much difference really, but it keep me some what more sane :) wishing you lots of positive vibes :) and for a happy bundle of joy in 9 months time!

Current NICE guidelines say
Recurrent miscarriage
How should I manage a woman with recurrent miscarriage?
Offer referral to investigate the cause of recurrent miscarriage for all women who have had:
Three or more miscarriages before 10 weeks gestation.
One or more morphologically normal fetal losses occurring after 10 weeks gestation
Age shouldn't be a barrier. (I realise fertility treatment is different, but rmc investigations should happen after 3 consecutive mcs. My GP agreed to refer me after 2 due to my age).

Amanda - the BFPs suddenly kicked back in. I honestly thought it was another cp and I was so disappointed. But they were literally positive - negative - positive

I think I might know why.... I've never actually pieced it together but she was born with a genetic abnormality (not a serious one) which happened due to a completely random error in the replication of cells at conception. So maybe that???? Fingers crossed you carry on getting those dark lines! You'll have to post a photo each morning of that day's test so we can all give our thoughts

Sapph1r3, yes, I wondered if it could be something like that. Mine have never gone completely negative (apart from the digi, but a FRER still had a faint line). Now they're increasing again, I wonder if the little bean is growing but with an abnormality. No lines to show you today, but I did just get this! I think I'm 4+4 or 4+5 today, so this should be about right. Keep crossing everything for me, ladies!!!!

The chances of an abnormality are very low. I suspect you're just very early on and the little bean is getting comfy

That looks really encouraging. I don't think there's anything to suggest an abnormality - the only thing you've had has been one test slightly lighter than a previous one and that could be for many reasons. Don't think abnormalities have that effect.

It's no wonder that you will tend to think the worst after everything you've been through but so far it all looks good! Long may it last but do keep us posted as we are rooting for you!

Aw, thank you, lovely ladies! I really hope so. It was 2 FRERS 5 days apart that were lighter than the first one, which just looked for all the world like my 2 chemicals. Since I ditched the FRERs & stuck with Superdrug & CB-digi's, things have looked more positive. If this does turn out to be a sticky one, I'll be on an anti-FRER campaign! They've definitely caused a whole lot of anxiety. I wish I could just stop testing, but with my higher risk of ectopic, I need to be on-the-ball and react quickly to any signs of a repeat.

I will definitely keep you all posted. Lots of luck to you all xxx

My GP told me that the the tests that tell you how far along you are are very accurate. I had a chemical pregnancy / early miscarriage the other month and mine started decreasing pretty quickly (I was 5-6 weeks ,started bleeding on the Monday and was getting 1-2 weeks by the Wednesday). Seems like good news 😊

amanda I totally agree with ditching the FRERs. I kept doing them when I was pregnant with ds. Completely panicked because they never got darker.
Really hope this pregnancy works out for you, definitely reasons to be optimistic. Good luck

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid, what the hell is it with FRERs? Everybody goes on about how wonderful and trustworthy they are. I've spent practically a whole week on Google (as you can imagine!!!) and its full of wonderful progression pictures with glaring thick test lines at like 11dpo!!! I'm calling conspiracy! There's no way I could get such a squinter on a FRER on Sunday & then 2-3 on a CB-digi today if they're both accurate. Sorry to rant, but I wonder how many other poor souls are tying themselves in knots over them xxx

There's a lot of negative reviews on Amazon about FRERs... They are total rubbish since they introduced the new design. My CP didn't show up at all on the ones I used last month. I ended up using ICs and a digi until they turned BFN each time I tested.

Frantasic, until now I've had the opposite experience. With my last 2 CPs the IC's never even managed a squinter, despite claiming to be 10 mIU. The FRERs had light lines that didn't progress much and then faded out. I remember with my son the FRERs were good, but the lines on them have become so thin lately that they're hard to read, and it's as though they're skimping on dye because even the control line is wishy-washy. Very annoying considering how expensive they are. xx

I did get what looked like an indent line... They were there immediately but had no colour so I dismissed them. The most obvious line I got was on a poundland strip. It's crazy how people's experiences vary with pregnancy tests. How are you feeling today? Are you feeling more confident yet?

They never got stronger than this, the the IC defo picked them up.

I am, thank you so much for asking The nausea has well-and-truly kicked in today, which has reassured me because that never happened with the CPs or ectopic. I'll believe it when I see it, though! Life has taught me to be super skeptical. Yes, it's really weird, the inconsistency. This pic is a FRER from my CP in Feb, when ICs were stark white. I even managed 1-2 on a CB-digi before it faded out. The one in March never got beyond a squinter.

The morning sickness is a blessing and a curse. I know it sounds a little sadistic but I'm glad you have it for reassurance purposes. I suffered from hyperemesis/morning sickness with all 4 of my pregnancies that's including my MCs. With the chemical it was WAY less severe than the others so I knew something was wrong. I think I'm super sensitive to the HCG though because I had loads of pg symptoms... Some of them have only just gone in the last few days, well after the actually MC.

I really hope you have a smooth pregnancy and get to enjoy motherhood without any more trauma. I really can't begin to imagine how life has been for you and your DP.

Amanda having just read through your posts I just wanted to wish you all the best with your pregnancy, it sounds like your bean is going strong just now. Hope you can take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself on the journey. I also wanted to let you know reading your posts has given me a boost in hope and inspiration, following 2 MCs. I hope I have your strength and resilience if/when I get pregnant again

Amanda firstly, really sorry about the loss of your lovely boy and the losses since. I've recently been referred to our local early mc clinic after 1 chemical/early loss and another chemical. I am 42 and my GP kindly said in the light of my age she would refer me after those two. They've been really helpful - I'm seeing my consultant in a few weeks now. I say all this because I'm not hugely far from you - possibly closer than Birmingham at any rate - so if you could self refer here that might be an idea but hopefully it won't be needed now! I too have been using FRER,partly because ICs gave me just blank white results. I might think about the digital ones next time. All the very best, I'm crossing my fingers for you.