Infertility, please help!

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I'm posting on behalf of a friend I desperately wish I could help. She has PCOS and isn't ovulating in any pattern if at all. She has been referred for treatment after two years of ttc. The problem is they wont help because of her BMI. She has an okay diet, not perfect, and has managed to lose just over a stone but seems to be sticking there.

I know it might be easy to say she has to do it but she also has an underactive thyroid and depression she had to stop taking the medication for in order to conceive. If she can't hit the BMI target is that it? Do her doctors have the right to say they will not consider helping at all?

It just seems so sad that her right to be a parent will decided solely on weight, partly the result of complex medical problems.

If she's got an under active thyroid she should be taking medication rather than stopping it-it improves the chance of getting pregnant.

Can she be referred for help with her weight? Losing weight is really hard, especially with pcos. There are good threads on the weight loss boards on here with lots of support available.

She is taking the thyroid meds, it's the depression ones she stopped. The thyroid ones don't seem to have a lot of effect :(

In an ideal world she would completely stick to a diet and lose lots but I just don't think she ever will. It just seems like she has lost some, does it have to be so rigid in terms of what you have to weigh?

Thyroid levels need to be right. Does she know her numbers? Tsh should be 2.5 or below ideally. Not just 'within range'.

Your BMI usually has to be under 29.9, or 30 for NHS fertility treatment. It's probably very similar even if she pays for treatment.

They are so strict about this because the chances of the treatment working are much higher at a healthy weight.

For my NHS funded cycle of ICSI last year I had to loose 3 stone and my hubby had to lose 6 stone so that we were both at a certain BMI.
Hubby got straight on it and it fell off him a stone a month. I really struggled but I got there. It came down to being really really strict with myself. I totally get that depression doesn't help - been there.

If you can afford to pay private they may not be as fussy but the reason you have to have a healthy BMI is that it does impact on the quality of eggs produced. My ICSI last year resulted in MC. I've put the weight back on, but when I spoke to the clinic about having my frozen embryos (left over from ICSI) put in they said I didn't need to lose the weight as it won't affect implantation, but if it doesn't work and I want ICSI again, I will have to lose the weight again before they remove more eggs.

Good luck to your friend x

Thank you all, I don't know her thyroid details but I'll pass that on. The BMI limit here is 35 but that's for clomid, don't know for IVF. Ironically I had a similar problem at one point however I lost 47lbs and got pregnant naturally. I think I know she has to do it really I just don't think she can :(. It's so horrible to see her hurting

That's why the weight cut off is there-being closer to a healthy weight makes a massive difference to your chandes of conceiving. If you've successfully lost weight you sound like you might be in a great position to help your friend with her weight. What makes you say you don't think she can do it?

I used Weight watchers then Slimming world. I've created her meal plans and her other half cooks everything plus doing housework to give her time to exercise. It's helped her lose that stone and a half then it's stuck there for six months :(