I promised I'd relax

[Julieb85]

So DH and I have decided to TTC #2...last time round it took almost 3 years and I got myself very very stressed about it all. AF here at the moment - so not even really started and I'm already adducted to tracking and MN. Any tips on how to relax?!

I 'relaxed' by taking action. Which I appreciate is not the traditional definition of relaxing!! I got weekly acupuncture, adapted all our meals for optimum fertility boosts, took conception vitamins and got in touch with my cycle.

I felt that by 'doing' I could relax...

Tracking was what sucked me in to the stress and obsessional behaviour. My counsellor suggested I stop and the thought made me sick and out of control.

One month I drive myself so bloody demented I gave up, refused to temp, poas or even have sex. I decided I was done.

2 months later after very little sex poor DH i am now surprise pregnant.

Don't get sucked into tracking!

I seem to say I'm not stressing, or getting sucked in but I absolutely am!! I went down a horrible route last time and don't want to do that again. DH even arranged some spa days etc but the more head space I get the more I obsess!!

Just DTD every other day when you are not having AF. That is what will get you pg.

I have also promised to relax and take it easy and not put pressure on ourselves. I even tell this to people who are foolish enough to ask how it's going, and I actually believe myself half the time. Except behind closed doors I have a tendency to turn into an obsessed neurotic mad woman.

I have tried to stop temping/opk/SMEPing etc etc. But I think I'm with luckystar - i need to feel in control to stop stressing. If that makes sense. I need to know I'm doing what I can. I'm doing the SMEP method this month which feels quite good so far. Dtd every other day, feels fairly relaxed. I am also doing acupuncture and reflexology which help keep me calm and level headed somehow.

Sames... I didn't know I'd be this obsessed and its my first cycle hoping I'll chill out soon as the initial excitement wears off.

Keeping busy helps me.

I agree, tracking can take over massively and the obsession leads to anxiety & stress. Possibly then leading to BFN. The vicious circle is distressing. I think everyone's situations are different. I "tracked" but loosely. Being in control like what lucky said is brilliant. I did the same with #2, ate well and took vitamins etc. Was slightly more relaxed with #3 however was making sure I was taking vitamins a few months before ttc.

Kitty congratulations on your pregnancy! I remember you from other threads and I know how long you tried and how much you wanted this. I am so happy for you.

Relaxing is definitely recommended (I've lost count of the stories I've heard where people give up, stop trying and then fall pg), but virtually impossible to do!

I actually have issues coping with uncertainty, so this is really hard for me. I just focus on the areas where I feel I have control such as diet and exercise. I log everything (when we dtd, symptoms etc) to enhance that feeling of control.

I don't temp or use opks as they can't provide that exact certainty I need and would just make me worse. My husband jokes that I wish I had a window into my womb!

Keeping busy helps too of course!

Good luck