How long should you really wait after MC before ttc again?

[Laddersinmybloodytights]

Gynaecologist at the hospital last week said should wait until I've had one or two periods before we try for another baby. I really don't want to wait that long and it could be months before I've had 2 periods as I only have one ovary/fallopian tube after ectopic pregnancy surgery, and they've always been pretty irregular anyway.
I'm pretty much finished bleeding, and just want to get on with things as soon as I feel back to normal, is this a good idea? Or should I wait until I've had at least one cycle?? What are other's experiences?

Hi, for what it's worth, on threads about miscarriage on mumsnet people report getting varied advice so you'll here different opinions. To be fair, people may well be getting different advice due to different types or stages of miscarriage too. My experience was that I had an early miscarriage at 6 weeks and when I said I wanted to try again ASAP my midwife advised it was completely safe to start again once the bleeding stopped, but for dating purposes it would be best to wait for one natural period first. Given that the dating method the NHS use is guesswork anyway, my opinion was that dating purposes wasn't a reason that mattered to me. It might to you though?

I was told to certainly wait until I had my first period and had to take a pregnancy test 6 weeks after mc to make sure I had a negative. I was told not to try until I had the BFN else there could be complications with left over pregnancy bits interfering with the new pregnancy. Or something like that

Personally, I wouldn't bother waiting, especially in your shoes with irregular periods. I think that advice is more for dating purposes as I can't see any other reason why you would need to have a period, unless you've had complications or an infection. Completely anecdotal, but I've got 2 relatives who got pregnant the next cycle after their miscarriage and carried healthy babies to term. There is some research that says you're more fertile the first 6 months after a miscarriage and less likely to miscarry again. Like you say, with irregular periods it could be a long time. I certainly wouldn't be waiting any longer than one period.

Thanks everyone. Yes, I really don't want to wait too long as I could be waiting a while for a period or I might get one in a couple of weeks, I never know. I did test negative in the hospital last week but maybe doing another in a couple of weeks is a good idea, just to make sure. Still feeling rather down in the dumps and absolutely exhausted (didn't take any time off work which I maybe should have) but hopefully will feel back to normal soon.

Waiting for period is for dating reasons. You can start trying once any bleeding stops.

I wouldn't wait either. After my miscarriage the doctor told me to try again the following month. They'll be able to figure out how far your baby is along at your dating scan.

I never really waited after mine. For what it's worth I was as fertile with only one Fallopian tube as I had been with two! Good luck

My baby was full term stillborn and when she died my husband asked if we could try again and I just couldn't contemplate it. A month later and my arms were so empty I just needed to fix it. I went to my 6 week post natal check and spoke to the lovely gp, she asked how I would feel if I conceived again and I said I'd be relieved. She gave me an internal and said physically there would be no reason not to try again, but to make sure I was taking a good prenatal vitamin. I'm now 36 weeks and will be induced on the 26th, there will be 10 1/2 months between my angel and my rainbow. Physically I have been fine, mentally it has been hard work though. If you do decide to try again, make sure you be gentle to yourself, and accept all the support you are given

I agree, don't wait if you feel ready. I have had 2 baby losses, the first was at 6 weeks we wasn't ttc straight after but we didn't prevent and took 5 months to drop on again- it was the longest 5 months. We lost again at 9 weeks, I was in that much pain that it was the last thing I wanted. It is coming up 5 months since our last loss and I am hoping that it will happen soon (although I am so scared).
Don't wait if your ready- it will happen when it happens X

3LittleBadgers - I remember your posts at the time. I might have had a different name. I hope you are OK and good luck.

I did all the right things re trying again and every time was different - I lost three babies after the first trimester and at least three at 5/6/7 weeks. I had a little boy at 27 weeks who didn't survive. I had one period and conceived and lost very quickly. I then hit trouble and the gynaecologist told me to hold tight until tests were completed before trying again. DH and I had a massive row and made-up. DD was born 51 weeks after DS2 died. She was my only pregnancy that reached term!

If it's meant to be it will be and I don't think there's much you can do to influence it unless there's an identified medical reason.

Thanks for sharing your stories, this is my third loss and I've been quite 'for fuck sake' rather than very sad and upset, is that weird?! I've had very little pain, so been able to carry on as normal, probably as I was only 3/4 weeks along this time though. Or maybe I shouldn't 'expect' it to happen, think more positively, I will have another baby this year . . . .

I had three early losses 5-6 weeks or so and just went for it again each time. Each time I conceived again within a month or two. Having taken 18 months to conceive first time this was quite surprising but a friend who is a GP says it does seem to be true that you are more fertile following pregnancy, whether it be full term or early loss. She says this is the reason that GPs are so insistent in giving advice on contraception post-natally. My history was loss, loss, ft healthy baby, loss, ft healthy baby in the space of about 3.5 years. I also understand about the change in how you deal with it emotionally when it has happened more than once. My first I was devastated, had a week off work, cried the entire time. Second time, still very upset, but only a couple of days off work and coped better. Third time I remember being at work when it started and just carrying on as normal, but I had had DS by then so I knew it was possible for me, which helped. Fingers crossed for you Ladders.

I had a three month miscarriage, conceived the month after, DS born healthy.

Had a miscarriage at Christmas, we are trying again straight away. Miscarriage this time was worse than the first, even though only 6 weeks gone.

Why would you wait? If you conceive, you conceive, no?

My Gp said as soon as you are emotionally ready. She said you could wait for a period but that's just for dating purposes.

I've had 2 miscarriages, both times I've waited for the first period after then we've tried again (and got pregnant straight away, with 2 healthy children following).
It's usually best to wait until you've had one period simply to help with dating if you get pregnant straight away (otherwise if they scan you they won't know if baby is the right size for its age).

Physically- straight away, emotionally- that's completely subjective. I was a total mess after my MMC, and the months between it and conceiving my DS were awful. Tbh, we conceived him the 1st month I'd begun to feel better (having started acupuncture and been checked privately by a gyno).

Good luck, keep well and look after yourself

The Gynae has told you that for a very good reason. He/she has had years of medical training - why you would ignore it is beyond me. I understand the desperation to ttc again - I waited 4 years for my DS but sometimes you have to listen to the professionals. Give your body a break to reset your hormones. The last thing you want to do is get of again and miscarry because your progesterone levels were not quite right yet.