Help, what do we expect?

[girleigh1987]

Hi All

We have been trying to conceive for the last 2 years and are now beginning the daunting tests etc.
I have a 9 year old from a previous relationship and although we of course love the bones of him, we feel like something is missing from our family and it is beginning to take it's toll on our relationship.
I was wondering if anyone can help us with what to expect after the blood and sperm tests. If they come back clear what happens. If it turns out that there is a problem, what will our options be.
Would we qualify for IVF with us having my son? My partner has no children.

Any advice or support would be greatfully received :)

The sperm test will show if your partners sperm contain the normal count (number of sperm), motility (ability to move), and morphology (shape, so they can penetrate the egg shell). If they are abnormal, they can suggest things such as cutting out booze, loose underwear and vitamins that can help improve it.

Initial blood tests on you will show if you are ovulating normally, and what your egg reserve is like.
If those come back normal, they might then look at whether your tubes are blocked and whether you have any issues with your womb.

You won't qualify for any NHS IVF or IUI ('turkey vaster treatment') because you have a child. The rule is if either person has any living children, adopted or biological, you can't have IVF. Some trusts might not send you for the investigative tests on your tubes and womb if you have children but I think this is rare.

Good luck with it all

Thank you sparechange.

I thought you may say this about the treatments. It's such a shame as I feel like if it does come down to it, my partner is being punished for being man enough to take on someone elses child. I know the treatments must be expensive and I know the NHS is under a lot of strain at the moment but it is frustrating.

He asked me last week if it was his sperm that was the problem if I would leave him :( Of course my answer was no, but I will never get over my guilt if the problem could be helped with IVF and he can't have it because he chose to fall in love with the wrong person.

Fingers crossed it is something that can be resolved.

Would you be in a position to pay for IVF privately?
It is around £5k per round in the UK but half that price if you go abroad. There are lots of threads about good clinics to consider in Europe