We are all a bit bonkers, worshipping the travelling womble conker, we rub the grad's bumps for luck and shag without scientific schmuck (Most of the time!) Its Just Shagging 56!

[MyBlackCat]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 55 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2485718-Were-Still-Gathered-Round-the-Sacred-Womble-Conker-for-a-Legendary-BFP-Bring-your-Fur-Babies-and-Pray-for-Merely-a-Hint-of-Menses-its-Just-Shagging-with-science-sometimes-55" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2505402-Its-the-dream-combo-of-carbs-and-couples-massagers-welcoming-pukey-newbies-and-teffrifying-norks-its-GTTs-a-go-go-on-JS-Grads-41" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2490199-just-mumming-9-we-re-suffering-the-curse-of-mel-b-st-syndrome-and-the-rise-of-the-sleep-snatchers-we-ve-all-had-enough-and-would-just-like-a-good-js" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Yeah get back in bloody line viroids!

Glad you're okay chat, scary stuff.

Not out yet angel gx

Why are you kicking a teddy? Poor thing
Keep going, I have iced any on any day from 11-18 so you might be icing late.

yorkshirepud what's the link to the grads fred please?

Mermaid, I'm not sure how to do links on my phone but if you go to the first post of this thread then the link is there, I've just checked it and it works, come and say hi!

Haha just I literally did kick teddy my daughter has her teddy's on a shelf above her stairs which the cats had decided to explore knocking them all down hence poor teddy being in the way of my bad mood on way back from bathroom! I have since made amends with said teddy and apologised unreservedly teddy took it on the chin doesn't seem to be holding a grudge!

yorkshirepud thanks - found it!

cori I iced on day 18 or 19 when I got upduffed! stirs crazy pot. Glad teddy isn't holding a grudge.

Sorry, I've missed a couple of weeks and there some of you go, BFPing!

Congrats to the BFPers, commiserations to lil sorry to hear your nan is firing blanks

As for me...
Name: Tea
Age: Older than the rest of you put together
DC: Currently cooking strop baby who is practising martial arts as I hurtle towards the end of my 2nd trimester

Still burping like an old man.

Pud 2 days late, hormones seem to be all over the bloody show, one minute I'm laughing, then I'm crying, then I'm screaming at hubby If the witch is on her way I just wish she'd hurry up & get it over & done with.

Chat glad to hear you're safe!!!

Well done Ain

Congrats Corgi, keep, and Mermaid please do join us when you feel ready.

Welcome Kat and Cats

Chat glad you are safe and the garden is clear.

Cori did they tell you to use the contraband to make sure you do ice? I didn't really ice naturally when on clomid so I always had to have a hcg trigger shot, apart from the last cycle when my body half heartedly tried so they had me trigger anyway.

Thank you lovely viroids for all your congratulations I POAFRER yesterday and there was another very faint line - think I must have iced about 10 days later than expected!
Welcome to the newbies and commiserations to anyone the witch has visited! angel my witch was about 4 days late before I got my bfp so don't lose hope! Gx to everyone else.

Oops, that was an interesting typo!

cori My cycles were all over the place. I've iced as early as cd14 and as late as CD 60something! Try not to stress as that delays ovulating, regardless of the clomid. And its not an exact science. Different follies will use different amounts of hormones and mature at different rates.

angel same goes, you may have iced later than you think, so AF may not be "late" yet as you may not be at end of your LP. Leave it a week and test again.

It keeps occurring to me that at over 10weeks I still have nothing like the symptoms I used to so eagerly try to spot! I don't even feel pg, just tired and bloated and a bit yuck, all of who h could easily be explained away from other things if I didn't know in pg. Just a thought for you symptom spotters!

I'm out this month :( the witch just arrived. That means this cycle was 26 days, last was 27 the one before 28. That was the first since coming off the pill. Maybe it's going to take me some time to regulate feeling really depressed all of a sudden. I know that's normal really just disappointed I guess.

Did others in the group notice irregularities after stopping the pill? How long did it take you to get regular?

Kat

Thanks viroids feeling a little better about lack of icing now and yes ill they did tell me to use opks to make sure I ice and so far for the last three cycles of clomid I have iced bang on when I should have what's more I could tell I was as having icing cramps etc this month 4th clomid cycle nothing not even a squinty line on my opk or the slightest twinge in fact I'm starting to get pre period symptoms ie spots totally confused but now just hope it's a late one!

kat don't get too hung up about cycle lengths. Mine ranged from 28days to 76 days in the 3 years I was TTC and didn't really settle at all. I temped from very early on and I ovulated every cycle and had a good LP (time between ovulation and AF which never changes itswgeb you ovulated that changes) and when I did gave fertility tests all my worries about me being the problem due to my irregular cycles were unfounded. My results were all excellent and good for my age. My dh was the issue. Point is irregular doesn't mean infertile. But yes you will need to give it a few months, maybe 12 or more, for your cycles to "settle". Mine got to 30-36days average in the end as I ovulated late.

Cori Damn, Gx icing is just a bit late.

Kat I think we've all had a bit of irregularity post pill. Mine were 6w, 3w, 6w then BFP (tested at 6w, dates were moved around at scan, that cycle was probably 5w).

Cori GX it's just late.

Can't sleep so drinking tea and stitching. Getting concerned about milk stocks - we're meant to be leaving the country soon, I don't have much in the fridge!

Kat, irregular cycles don't necessarily mean you will find it difficult to get upduffed, just keep shagging every 2 to 3 days

How are you doing over in waffle land Chat?, seems pretty crazy over there at the moment

All is okay in our particular corner thanks, Pud. City as a whole has a very weird atmosphere, though. Police asked for a social media blackout, so #BrusselsLockdown was attached to very many pictures of cats - they fought occupation in WWII largely by the use of cartoons, so a precedent has been set for the bizarre.

sorry you're out kat but those cycles dont sound too bad really - i think 'normal/regular' is considered to include a variation of up to 4 days. when i fist came of the pill (after many years) my cycles went 24, 34, 32, bfp on cd31, mc & wtf cycle, 28, bfp on cd32. So although a little variable I think they would be probably considered regular.

When I came off the pill Kat I had 32, 33, 42, BFP, MC, WTF/67, 49, 30, 35, BFP. However, since giving birth they have been 31, 31.

Hi viroids, sorry I fell off Fred over the weekend. Thursday was a bit of a whirlwind and we've been in London over the weekend. Thank you for all the congrats.

Ain brilliant loss there, well done.

Chat well done staying safe, keep that up!

Corgi congrats!! So exciting!!

Welcome newbies and as appropriate to everyone I missed. I'm going to have a nervous peek over at the grads bit will still lurk around here for a bit too, I feel a bit between at the moment!

Congratulations corgi - we need more line pics!

This month's AF has been very inconveniently timed - not only was I working all weekend, which was pretty unfun, but it now means that my next scan has to be the day I finish a run of nights. The clinic is about an hour's drive away and I'm seriously concerned about driving when that tired, but DH can't get time off to take me. Grrr.

Major PMT here Totally lost it at DH when he put the peas into cook with the broccoli and I wanted to cook them separately #firstworldproblems

AF due wed/Thurs

Spotting started this evening, expecting the witch by tomorrow