We are all a bit bonkers, worshipping the travelling womble conker, we rub the grad's bumps for luck and shag without scientific schmuck (Most of the time!) Its Just Shagging 56!

[MyBlackCat]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 55 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2485718-Were-Still-Gathered-Round-the-Sacred-Womble-Conker-for-a-Legendary-BFP-Bring-your-Fur-Babies-and-Pray-for-Merely-a-Hint-of-Menses-its-Just-Shagging-with-science-sometimes-55" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2505402-Its-the-dream-combo-of-carbs-and-couples-massagers-welcoming-pukey-newbies-and-teffrifying-norks-its-GTTs-a-go-go-on-JS-Grads-41" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2490199-just-mumming-9-we-re-suffering-the-curse-of-mel-b-st-syndrome-and-the-rise-of-the-sleep-snatchers-we-ve-all-had-enough-and-would-just-like-a-good-js" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Have to confess that I have used a OPK for the first time this cycle. I know it's contraband..... But this is our 6th cycle of trying and I wanted to make sure I was ovulating....have been getting a bit obsessed that something is wrong.

corgi I use Ovia, found it really useful for tracking cycle, esp after coming off pill.

f1ddle I had really obvious consistent ov symptoms for couple cycles when I first came off pill (ewcm, high soft open cervix, pain in side). Last couple of cycles the symptoms haven't been just as noticeable or consistent. Actually considering contraband

Flu vaccine went grand. We were all shown a list of things we should make nurse aware of, with pos pg being on it. I was just about to tell her about ttc when another colleague came in, so didn't mention it.

I've used both Ovia and Glow since coming off the pill. I hadn't had a period in over 10 years so had no idea about my cycle - hoe long is was etc...

I do find Ovia more reliable than Glow though...

I used Ovia too and liked it. I think a lot of people liked Fertility Friend too but I never tried that.

I like the no no nonsense approach to ff. I've used them all also use all the contraband

runner no news?

Will have a look at Ovia - thanks for the recommendations. Sorry to hear about the BFN Corgi

I tried FF for a few days but couldn't get on with it for some reason even though I've only heard brilliant things about it. I wondered whether it was because I wasn't temping though as it seemed to be quite focussed on that or I was using it wrong

I couldn't get on with FF either! Lasted 2 weeks with it!

F1ddle I started out using nothing at all, but then it turns out I also wasn't ovulating at all, so now I'm a Shagging and Science Bitch, I use a lot of contraband. I haven't been symptom spotting just yet, because I have no idea what symptoms to spot, unless you count the occasional "hmmm, feel a bit sick this morning - oh no, that'll be because I hopped on my bike right after breakfast."

I can see how OPKs are tempting though, it's all very well trying to do it every other day all month, but sometimes you need to focus your efforts a bit! I don't really have many symptoms either. But then I'm fortunate to have one DC already so my shagging time is restricted to out-of-hours activity. Slightly hampers ones efforts...

I fell off the Fred!! Sorry I've been rubbish at keeping track but will turn over a new leaf and will do better!

Currently up duffed with 23 week countrychap!!

Hi viroids!

I've been awol for a while. Here's my stats.

Name : Ain
Age : 28
TTC : way too long. Since August 2014.
DC'S : 0. But one fur baby (of the canine variety).

Diagnosed with pcos. Currently trying to lose as much weight as possible before my next fc appointment in march where hopefully I will get some clomid... other than that it's just shagging and hoping for some luck!

Need to catch up as I missed most of the last Fred. Any BFPs? Hello to any newbies.

Name: Lily
Age: 28
TTC #1 (Since june 2015)
DC: 0

Could someone please take a look at my chart for me as I'm 2 months BBT and sure I'm not ovulating (last months showed me not to be and was fairly simular).

Quick back story, I have hypothyroidism and went for check up as possible bicornuate uterus. Estrogen levels came back low 2 months in a row as did my rubella. Cleared of pcos (had scans ect) but as my cycles vary from 32 to 38 days I can't catch elusive "21 day test".

Phew... I'm on a waiting list for the hospital but this is making me sad. Number 1s (pinky colour) where times I had taken at different times to help if that makes any difference.

Thank you ladies :)

Country! Hope you're good :)

Welcome Lily. Can't help with the chart, though if Lil is around she's pretty good at these things. At least one of the other grads has thyroid stuff too - think your TSH should be at the lower end of normal when TTC. I have a bicornuate/septate uterus, which was picked up in my first pregnancy. Definitely can make things more difficult.

A womble window would be great wouldn't it.

country! I missed you! Don't leave us again!

Lily welcome, no help on the temping sorry, but do stick around

Slapped bum won't do it again!

How are we all?

Thank you Justtheonethen and ChatEnOuef :)

Sorry if this is the wrong thread, vaguely remember someone said posting it in this one before for help.

My TSH were normal just my estrogen and I can't get this darn progesterone as I'm either 2 days late or 5 days early.

Someone give me a slap/kick up the arse please!

AF due today or tomorrow, having slight cramps/twinges etc. I need to stop thinking they could be implantation pains/whatever...
Every time I get anything slightly different or the same I am symptom spotting...

Welcome lily, sorry I can't help with your chart, they're like a foreign language to me!

Oh mermaid no hooyah from me as I'm exactly the same. Promised myself I wouldn't symptom spot this cycle but I have more than usual and got my hopes up again.

Confession time: cd25 and I tested this morning. Bfn, obviously. Feeling pretty disappointed because I'd managed to convince myself the skittletits were a sign. Not sure they're even quite as painful today.

Sorry for bfn keep, although as you said it's still quite early, so there's hope yet.

Mermaid I'm in the same boat, been here before & ended up hugely disappointed, but I don't seem to learn. Can't seem to stop myself sypmtom spotting like crazy, I've a list as long as both arms that I've convinced myself are early pg signs, think I've probably imagined half of them

CD24, according to ovia the witch is due tues (based on average cycle of 29 days). Last cycle was 25 days, the one before 26, so I'm thinking she should be here by the weekend.

Welcome Lily, can't help you with the chart I'm afraid.
I used Ovia and also did 3 months of clearblue opks after MC when my cycle was all over the place. If you have a regular cycle, Ovia is pretty reliable but if you aren't sure when you ice it might be worth trying contraband. I'm a just shagger at heart but my dh works really long hours so it helped to focus my efforts on the fertile window. Did have a few bonus shags the week after when I got upduffed though so it's not a bad idea to keep going.
Viroids testing early- remember that if you get a bfp you will have an extra few days of the "Shit, why haven't I got any symptoms?" early pg hell.

Ok, that's it. I've just burst into tears at the end of an episode of Cold Case.... (which had nothing to do with babies, or anything in my life that could have made it personal)

Lock me up now...

Lily how are you temping? Your chart looks like mine did... Turns out I am a mouth breather at night. My chart was much clearer when I started taking my temperature vaginally instead.

Hi Honeysucklejasmine, via mouth but I did buy a seperate one to do vaginally but it was too much hassle.

Thanks if you took a look, I might do a thread to see if it catches someone's eye x

Thanks angel. Fruit I know you're right. DH has just said he'd rather wait until the weekend to find out than me be disappointed.