The Bumsnet Bus: It doesn't matter how long your journey, or how many twists and turns you've taken, there can only be one destination: BFP! Wipe your flaps and jump aboard!

[eskimoflo]

Thought I'd get this party started. Here's the stats: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sHG9PPsOs0yIqgR-o2UXX_fdlCQXdVNLfmPpNOePPjQ/edit

May this bus yield many BFPs! Hoorah!

The embryologist just called and said our embryo has thawed with no problems! Xx

sammy they must have a brilliant defrost setting on their microwave! . All looking good! xx

Sammy I am so excited for you, I wish you all the luck in the world.

beautician thank you, I do really hope I'm wrong, but it feels unlikely. I'm interested by your suggestion about dtd after ov, will put that in place if needed next time. I feel so sorry for DH, I've just not been in the mood for various reasons, so sure he feels like I'm only after his swimmers.

Good luck today sammy. Can't wait to hear all about it.

Beaut it's crazy how unreal it feels despite having every symptom going! It'll be scan time soon and you might just start to believe that it really is happening.

Fly I'm no expert but your chart looks good to me. Fx for you.

Lily I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Can you make an appointment with your GP as they should be able to check your levels?

Soda I wouldn't worry about ov being late. I used to ov on cd13 but the cycle I got my bfp I ov'd on cd18 and this cycle it was cd19. Ov date can change from time to time.

I'm just plodding along nicely rainy. Currently 2dpo.

Fly - re your chart - did you take the cd11 temp late hence the open circle?

I think ff has it right given the slight dip on cd10. If cd11 was late then it would have been lower at the correct time and would fit with your slow rise. Xx

Thanks rainy and dizzym for reassurance. I got a peak on cbfm today too - finally!

Feeling a bit down. DH and I had a big argument last night about DTD! He's working really late at the moment and is knackered and we've been doing it a lot because I thought I would ov much sooner (usually CD14 for me). He just wasn't in the mood at all. We eventually did it but neither of us were happy about it! He said I just put too much pressure on him. I really don't want this to effect us. TTC is supposed to be a nice exciting thing! And all I can think about is we really need to DTD tonight too! No idea how that's going to happen!

lily really sorry for what you're going through. I hope you're wrong and the line keeps getting darker for you.

sammylou - everything is looking great! Positive vibes being sent xx

soda DH and I went through this this month. I really pushed for us to dtd the day after ov, but to be honest, halfway through we had to stop, it just felt so wrong, and upset both of us. I think it would have been better to not do it, and try the next night, but I completely understand how you are feeling

Soda - sorry about your fight with dh. I read your post to my dh and we both totally agree. Ttc sex is not fun when you've been trying a while, it's a case of 'getting the job done'. The only advice I can offer is to try to dtd throughout the month too, keep the romance alive and not make it all about babies. The other thing to remember is that you don't ovulate until a day or so after your positive opk, so no need to seduce him every night before you've even had a positive. Hugs to you, keep going. Xx

As for me, well, I'm officially PUPO!

1 blastocyst successfully transferred.

They say in our ivf pack that transfer is similar to a smear test... Well it was worse than a smear but not awful. We were in there about 25 minutes and have a souvenir picture of our blast.
The blobby bits on the outside are what will become the placenta and the large bit in the middle is the baby. Xx

Sammy so pleased for you. Forgive me for being dim but what happens now is it the tww. When will you find out if you're pregnant. I'll keep everything crossed for you. I was hoping you would have an extra special Christmas present this year

Sammy that's amazing, and brilliant you get a picture as well. I was wondering the same as Beautician, do you get a 1ww as it's sort of from implantation onwards? When do you go back?

Sammy I am over the moon for you , to have finally got this far, Its amazing you can have a picture of it xx

So official test date in December 2nd, but I think that is more to do with getting the trigger shot out of my system and making sure there's no risk of a false positive from that. Of course, if it doesn't work then af should arrive around next weekend - Sunday the 29th would be a 14 day lp. Xx

Hooray sammy - such good news. And amazing pic - thanks for sharing. Hopefully it'll be an amazing first pic in an album...! Will you test before 2nd? Do you have to have a blood test in the clinic or can you just test yourself? Huge fingers crossed for you xx

Thanks for kind words lily and sammy. Going to cook something nice for us both and relax and not mention DTD tonight. If it happens great but we can't carry on having horrible 'forced' sex where neither of us want to! Our relationship is too important to damage over this.

They gave me a urine pg test, so will do that on the 2nd and let them know. We don't go back either until our early scan if it works or follow up consult if it doesn't.
I will probably test before, the 2nd is very far away! The prob is that at the moment the trigger is still causing a bfp. I'll test for the next few days until I get a negative. Xx

Ahhhh sammy this is just amazing, incredible to see the picture at this stage, this could be the best Christmas present you could have hoped for. We all have everything crossed for you. Keep us updated with your testing.

soda sorry to hear about your argument with DH, I think we can all sympathise, and you're right, your relationship is just too important. Have a "date night" tonight, dinner, normal conversation about everything except DTD and all that is related to it. Relax.
Then perhaps when you're both feeling a bit better about it in a day or so, if you haven't already maybe show him all your charts/measures/sticks etc, to try and convey how all the things you're juggling in your head make you feel like you have been. Perhaps you can come up of a way of dealing with it together whilst still being able to DTD and have a bit of fun at the same time.

x

Apologies, mad sob filled rant coming. Just came back from the second referal. All very muddled and unclear (doctor didn't even know why we were there or what the appointment was about and it was in a hospital we had never been to before) but upshot is due to cut backs with NHS we now probably don't qualify for anything as them freezing DH's sperm before cancer treatment may count for their contribution. Apparently even a sperm count of 150 thousand is too high to qualify now. Our sperm bank place has now put forward on our behalf saying even without the cancer, they recommend ICSI as sperm so low and with so many deformities. Waiting to hear a final decision but everyone has prepared us for a no. Been asked if I would consider being an egg donor to reduce cost if we have to self fund, but feel it would kill me if the other couple were successful and we weren't.

I just feel so awful right now. I never dreamed this would happen. All through the chemo and radiotherapy this was our happy thought. I've lost nearly 4 stone. Worked hard and done all the things and DH got remission. Finally our waiting was over. Except now it isn't and I don't know what or if anything will happen and if I am going to be childless for my whole life then that's a life I don't want.

I know that sounds dramatic and when I have more information I'm sure I'll feel better but right now I just feel so so sad and I don't have anyone I can talk to about it right now so I came here. If anyone else wants a good cry I have plenty of tissues. Who knew this TTC business could make you feel so unhappy. /wallow.

MadameLeota I don't see that as a rant at all, I can hardly imagine how you must be feeling to have gone through so much already, only to have this happen. I can't believe they will not give you any help, especially if there are issues with deformities. If you don't get any joy with the final decision, could you ask to see someone else? I would take this as high as you need to, perhaps get your MP involved as well, as this seems so unfair

Oh madame I'm so sorry, it's a horrible feeling when the Dr doesn't know why you're there and you have to go through your whole story again, and it sounds like a long and complicated story for you and your DH.

I totally agree with lily, take this as high as you can, I can just imagine the shock and horror on people's faces if you were to tell them the lack of help you're getting after all you've already been through.

See what info you get and if its not what you wanted, try and find out who the Dr reports into, get some "head of" names off the internet and I agree on the MP thing if that's not required. The fight isn't over, once you've gathered your thoughts and feelings, I hope you get some answers xxxx

sammy. Ahh!! So excited for you. So is your blast 5 days already? How many dpo/days post fertilisation will you be on test day? Love the picture - so cool! I've got all my fingers and toes crossed for you Hun x

lily sorry it seems to be a chemical, I hope your frers bring better news.

madame so sorry about everything love, hope they come back with positive news.

Mummy I'll be 18dpo on official test day, puts any previous 10dpo testing to shame huh?

Madame - I'm so sorry you've had a horrible day, your bus experience sounds much like mine. No one ever knew our details either.
That can't be right though that they'll freeze them but not actually allow you to use them. Seems so mean. Plus I know that the nhs here allow you to freeze any embryos left over so surely that's the same? I think the others advise on looking in to it more is a good idea, you can't give up here. Xx

I just wanted to thank every one for their kind words, feeling a bit better now. Still waiting for that decision but will keep you updated - we made an appointment with our GP for Monday to hopefully find out why this is happening. Just got to wait to hear the decision. Then I guess make an independent application to the CCG is the next step if not successful.

All the ideas have been really helpful, thank you ladies. We can do it and all that!

sammy I didn't realise that it was possible that appointments could made that neither party knows the purpose of! All felt so disorganised. I guess all we can do is laugh. Definitely not cry (much).

It's HopesUpKnickersDown sporting a more ladylike name change!

Sammy I had to hop on and tell you how thrilled and excited I am for you! And what an amazing picture! Fingers crossed for test date for you!

soda nervous dizzym and sammy thanks for your input ladies!! With my temp this morning Ff moved O to CD12... Not sure why but I will take it! It puts our dtd timing much closer so I will take it without question!! Haha

sammy your very own blastocyst!!!! That is so awesome!! This is so brilliant how it's just all happening now, I have everything crossed for you, I will be testing around December 2nd too if AF doesn't arrive so we can be poas buddies!!!

soda sorry you guys argued :-( seems a pretty common thing for most of us in this uncertain situation... One night off just to reconnect and relax with each other won't harm I'm sure. You never know it could lead to make up sex all the same!?!

madame so sorry you're going through this :-( you guys have had such a journey already by the sounds of it!! Any chance of private funding...?? So ridiculous that you're being affected in this way