We're Still Gathered Round the Sacred Womble Conker for a Legendary BFP. Bring your Fur Babies, and Pray for Merely a Hint of Menses, it's Just Shagging (with science, sometimes) 55!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a <strong>Kitten</strong> = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 54 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2474456-The-commune-is-gathering-for-a-sacred-BFP-We-are-worshipping-our-womble-conkers-and-admiring-penis-statues-but-were-still-remembering-to-jump-our-miroids-at-every-opportunity-Its-Just-Shagging-54" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2460633-Just-Mumming-8-the-one-with-the-fire-crawlers-wind-machines-and-the-Health-Visitor-revolt" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Welcome paige hope you aren't trying for too long!

I only told 2 friends we were trying and kind of told my nan but never explicitly. I finally gained the courage to tell my best mate after 9 months of trying and the week after I got my bfp...

I told my two best friends because I was so excited. Both of them were spectacularly uninterested they're both in their 40's and happily single without kids and I honestly think they just can't understand why I want a family etc.
I've also told my mum but as she has dementia she doesn't remember for long

Thanks Jelly.

Lol Kez!

My husband said we should just keep it between ourselves. He doesn't even want me to tell him when I think i'm ovulating or even if I'm late. Just wants me to take a test when the time comes and then tell him. Lol he is far more laid back about all this than I am. X

Its funny isn’t it. I asked my husband why he doesn’t want to tell people who told us. I think he doesn’t want people to know if we are struggling but I don’t know why. One of our couple friends have been trying for two years and are very open about their worries and considering adoption. I get the pressure thing though entirely. That's probably more the reason I don't want to tell people in RL.

Runner sorry your friends don’t get it. Our few friends with kids are desperate for us to have kids and join them, though most of our friends are married without kids right now. One of my best girlfriends in London though just broke up with her boyfriend and is single again and is taking it pretty hard. She wants to get married and have kids one day and I think she feels like she’s losing me and her other friends to family life and so it made me feel a little sad / afraid to tell her.

Runner Sorry your mates weren't all ears! I suppose that helps in some ways. I have a best friend so desperate for me to have a baby and join her as a mum that she's been telling me to go to the doctors since week one of trying to check my tubes aren't blocked. (Or feels like that anyway.)

Paige My DH keeps telling me to stop telling him that I'm ovulating as it's too much pressure. If I didn't stress the importance of timing we'd just go to sleep instead of DTD. It's deeply unsexy but what can you do?

I'll join you in a TWOT Kez ... you never know this time ...

Gx kez! Hope the witch stays away.

Sorry your friends didn't react how you hoped runner. I guess if you don't want Dec then it's difficult to understand but I'm sure they will still be happy for you.

Nfmt (tummy): just ate a slim fast meal bar because I'm going to be slim by a week on Friday for my step sister's wedding and I now have indigestion and feel a bit sick. Thought I'd share that as there's nothing going on to present any nfmv.

Well the witch hasn't showed her face yet. She's probably going to be awkward and turn up a day or two late... As she has done before. Teasing bitch.

Hey Viroids!

I've only told my closest friends in RL about TTC, DH is just quite a private bean so generally doesn't overshare with his friends/family. I did have an incident last week with a friend's Mum 'It'll be you next' etc... I just smiled sweetly then bitched about her to DH! I know she doesn't even get how inappropriate she is.

Can anyone help - is it possible to ovulate without getting EWCM? I just feel so clueless about what my body is up to - I think I have spent too long on the pill and paying no attention to any changes throughout the month. I feel really stupid

Farmer before I started trying in August I had no idea what any of this stuff was or meant. I think some women have low amounts of EWCM but it doesn't mean they aren't ovulating. Do you think you've iced this month?

I really don't know! I'm on CD16 but have just had (TMI) creamy CM for a few days - maybe that changes to EWCM? I'm not even sure what day of your cycle people generally ice? And what other symptoms should I be looking out for?

So sorry to be so clueless

People generally ice 14 days before their period (+ or - 2 days). Depending on how long your cycle is, EWCM this late may be totally normal. Either way, just shag as shagging even outside of your fertile window increases your chances of getting upduffed apparently-- something to do with generating sexy hormones that are conducive to nurturing a bean.

Some people get a second wave of cm after icing as well due to an eostrogen surge or some such.

I didn't really get EWCM - or if I did it was for a very short spell. Don't listen to me thought, I was the contraband queen (temperature charting using fertility friend was the best, most accurate measure of icing for me)

Thanks for the info London that's really good to know - I have a long cycle so still might be more than 14 days til AF for me.

Oow Feathered you rebel! Didn't you find temping made you obsess though? Did it mean that TTC was the first thing you thought about every day like I do now because I am veering towards obsessive because you had to temp on waking? Or was it just something that you got used to?

Farmer - I'm a self declared JSing rebel!

If I was entering a fertile window, TTC was all I thought about for about a week in any case - the charting actually made me less crazed, because I felt in control that I could understand (or rather, have an idea!) of what was going on in my body and when would be the best time to shag. DH works really long hours, so we don't ever always feel up for it during the week (who would after 12 hours chained to a desk and a commute home?) so it was helpful to know in advance when icing might happen so he could get home earlier. It was also really satisfying seeing that temp dip then spike coincide with a positive-looking OPK.

I don't know who recommended fertility friend to me (it was someone on here) but it was certainly the best app for temp charting.

i used to get tiny amounts of EWCM, i found drinking more water helped improve the amount i got, but it wasn't a sure factor of icing for me, temping was the only way i knew i had iced and also told me that i had a ridiculously short LP (sub 9 days for most of the time).

Feathered that's a good way to look at it, feeling more in control because you have a better understanding. I might think about temping after Christmas if no luck JS every 2-3 days.

jelly another wayward temping JSer!

Am I right in thinking that you've both had BFP's though? How far along are you? I'm totally going to be hanging on your every TTC word from now on...

Farmer Yes, most variation in cycle length comes from the follicular (pre-ovulation) phase length. Most women have a luteal (post ovulation) phase of approximately two weeks regardless of how long their total cycle is.

Jelly that's a super short LP! Did you start taking B-vitamins or anything to lengthen it?

farmer i'm almost 26 weeks now, it took me roughly 9 months of trying. I started temping because I'd been on the contraceptive injection for 5 years and when i came off my periods didn't start. We started TTC when i didn't have a period so tempted to see if I was ovulating. It was then i found out my leutal phase was at first 7 days long, which is too short to conceive with. AF returned after 10 months of not being on the injection, and my LP lenthened to 8 days and then eventually 9 days. In April this year I started taking vitamin b complex, plus for a few months before hand i'd been taking 100mg of vitamin c (on lils advice). That month I got my bfp. I'm not sure if it was down to the vit c, the b-complex or generally health (i'd also lost some weight) but I was one of 4 viroids on here who got a BFP after taking vitamin b complex for a short LP. They've all had their babies now :)

(Sorry for the essay)!!

london yeah as above, vit b complex, 2 tablets daily. First month of taking them I got my BFP, i was shocked because I got to 11DPO so I knew it had done something, then i started spotting so though 11 days was a bonus on my previous 8 or 9. Well it's now a 26 week baby kicking my ribs :)

As i siad, 3 others took vit b complex for short LP's, la being one of them, i think dulcet was another, and all got their BFP's within a month or two of using them. This doesn't mean they are a miracle cure, they just fixed our LP issues which appeared to be causing fertility problems. But i only found out about my short LP through temping.

So yes, i'm a baaaaaaad JS'er but we've all used contraband, you should have seen the days of chart sharing

I'm so happy that it worked for you! Gx for the delivery :)

I know someone else who that worked for in combination with vitamin c. I've got both me and DH on conception vitamins and vitamin C. We don't have any specific issues (my bfp was 2 months after trying though sadly ended in MC this month) but they seem to do so much good for sperm quality etc that I figured why not.

I think its good to temp even for just a few cycles to get a sense of how you work. It never hurts to know if there is anything unusual going on you can potentially easily address.

Congratulations Feathered it's really inspiring hearing positive conception stories. Really really happy for you.

DH and I are taking conception vits but I'm definitely going to look into vitamin C and vitamin B complex.

Thanks lovely Viroids for your help and not making me feel silly! x

I used to get some ewcm but weirdly I didn't get any the month I got my bfp. So if you don't have it it doesn't necessarily mean you haven't iced. I'm also a bad JSer, I used clearblue opks in the months following my mc to find out what was going on with my cycle/ body.

My bod is fucked up. HOOYAH required over here please!

The both hasn't turned up yet, my tits still hurt (on the underneath) and my nips keep going all tingly ... Almost like pins n needles of the nips

The both = the bitch

kez how many dpo are you

Ooh kez I've got everything crossed for you!

My boobs feel like they are going to explode with every step which is making me crabby.

Haven't had time to catch up, sorry!