TTC for 10 months and the rest. Ten plussers welcome. Thread 2.

[lucieloos]

We have been so busy chatting I've started a new thread. Welcome all 10+ ladies. Hope we all have some luck on this thread.

Trixie - I get cramping for around 6-7 days before AF, what do you think is the cause of your cramping?

Thanks Lucie for the link, will check it out now.
Are you planning on transferring two if you get them?

I had my counselling session today, and while it was good to talk about it I came away feel exhausted! She did have a couple of interesting points though, one of which was if the science stuff and facts make me feel better then there is nothing wrong with asking. So at my appointment next week I'm going to ask everything, the nurses are lovely but I've got to the point where their positive attitudes do nothing to help me as I just don't believe them anymore! Solid facts and stats are the way forward for me, at least that way my hopes won't be up quite so high. Xx

I think having a much information as humanly possible really helps, my dad had cancer quite recently and the only way I could feel positive about his treatment was knowing all the ins and outs and % and everything so that I knew he was getting the best care.. A strange parallel but I feel exactly the same with the fertility journey!

A bit of a different one, I start a new job at a new company on 4th Jan (I couldn't put my life on hold anymore... waiting to become a mum!)

However, this has created a whole new set of feelings. If I do start my IVF by April, do you think that's too early to get pregnant in a new job? (Obviously if it works first time...)

Star - I went private for most of the tests as a friend who is also in the process told me that she had had a real battle getting the tests through her GP.

Trixie, we are neighbours! I live in Camberwell and yes I'm at king's. Went there for the first time yesterday - it's quite nice but I was just gawping at everyone in the waiting room wondering what their story is. Oops. Yes please pm me the details.

Not sure about going private - I don't think I'd want to have the surgery privately and so it wouldn't save me any time. That said, it would be good to know what this thing is. Christmas is coming up so it's a nice distracting month and then my scan is first week in Jan so I'll decide then. If I did get scanned privately, would the hospital be prepared to use the results or would they insist on doing their own scan too?
Trixie, what do you think is causing the cramping? Do you think it's around implantation? Are you otherwise unexplained apart from the NK cells?

Sammy, that sounds like a positive session. I flit between wanting the cold hard facts and selectively listening to the info I want to hear. Yesterday I was googling fibroids - now that was a mistake as the main message seemed to be: don't ignore them as they can grow so big you have to have a hysterectomy. Then my OH told me that had happened to his mum! I'm trying to ignore all this.

Itsme, I don't think a BFP in April would be an issue. In my work you need to have been there for 12 months before you're entitled to maternity benefits, so that's only really 3 or 4 months before a bfp. Well done, I absolutely agree you can't put your life on hold. I haven't followed my own advice - been wanting to leave for a while but can't bring myself to do it before getting pregnant. Perhaps that will change in another 6 months.

Sali - that makes sense, but is it costing you a fortune??

I'm not really sure what's causing the cramping but I do think it's around implantation time (maybe slightly earlier sometimes) I then don't have any cramping until a day or two before AF arrives.

Yes, Humira is one of the treatments I have come across Lucie. It is reassuring to hear that the ladies in your group have done well with pred and intralipids.

Glad the counselling was beneficial Sammy, I found my sessions really helpful.

Itsme I wouldn't worry about falling pregnant in a new job.
I'm the same Star, have been pretty fed up but I am just down the road from Kings here so really convenient for treatment and I have pretty flexible working hours so going to stick with it for now. I'll pm you now.

Forgot to say, my biopsy results are back (haven't been told what they are) have an appointment next Thursday with the Dr.

Trixie that's the same as me!
Always get cramps around 7-8 dpo for a couple of days and the nothing until a day or so before af arrives. I'll be mentioning it at next weeks appointment.

How annoying that they can't tell you your results on the phone! Xx

Hello all!

Very long time lurker here (not too much of a weirdo, I promise!)
Our story: we've been ttc for 17 cycles (ish) now, and this morning we were told by our GP that DP has a low sperm count (around 2 million per ml). We've been referred to fertility clinic but we're told the same wait as Sali (we are also in wales). We've arranged an appointment at CRGW next week to discuss our options, but we're thinking that going abroad might be our best option. All this has finally prompted me to actually try talking instead of just stalking!

Sammy, I'd just like to say I was following your progress, and I'm sorry it did my work out this time. Fingers crossed for the next go!

Grrrrrr, not, not my!

MPP - welcome, and thank you.

I still can't get over the waiting time in Wales. I know Lucie highly recommends her clinic, and I'm sure she'll be along soon to tell you about it.
We're paying privately (as you may know as you've been lurking), but in the UK and it is pricey, but TOTALLY worth it. Everything happens so much quicker.

Is your do trying anything to improve his count in the mean time? Xx

The waiting times were a bit of a shocker, Sammy. I can see what you mean about the private waiting times too. This morning, I told DP I would phone up for some advice and maybe we could be seen in January, so when they said they could see us next week I was a bit stunned! The prices are scary though. We're getting married in May, so that's a huge (and expensive!) Factor for us too.

In terms of what he's doing, he stopped having very hot baths two months ago, which is killing him a bit, bless. Plus he's on a concoction of every supplement I've read about during my extensive stalking. I swear he rattles when he walks, though I'm pretty sure I do too!

Welcome MPP ohh another south walian! I have been to CRGW many a time. We had our initial fertility investigations done there and also all my scans for my treatment abroad. I was in the same position as you in that I was referred for NHS treatment but was told it was likely to be 2 years before I would be able to begin. Given my age (34 at the time) that wasn't an option for us and we looked into going private. We felt the cost of treatment in the uk was too high and whilst we could have afforded a couple of attempts we decided to look into going abroad where it is about 50% cheaper as we knew that would allow us to have a good few more attempts if we needed it. I'm glad we did now as unfortunately we don't appear to be one of the straight forward work first time cases. If there's anything specific you won't to know about CRGW or treatment abroad then give me a shout.

Thanks Lucie! I may take you up on that. I'm especially intrigued that you had your scans there for going abroad. I didn't know you could do that! Very handy to know. I'm 33 for about another week so that's our biggest factor for not waiting too. Time is creeping on and going abroad would give us more goes.

Yes there was no problem at all having the scans done there and meant that I didn't need to spend so long abroad then. I will be back there in Jan for my next attempt!

That's fab Lucie! Fingers firmly crossed for you! Did it take long to organise the first time you went?

At CRGW, we're having the initial package with the ultrasound and the SA. I've already had a pelvic ultrasound and a TVUS for some weird pains I had that the doc eventually put down as irritable bowel syndrome and nothing showed up except very slightly polycystic ovaries that apparently were not a concern. DP's SA was just a week ago, but when I explained the results the lady said he may as well have another just to check since it was included in the price, as the comments for motility and morphology came back as 'insufficient sample' though there was an additional comments that said 'motile sperm seen.' Our GP didn't really have a clue, and when we asked for more details he just said 'we don't get asked about this much here' and printed us out a copy of the SA so we're really at a loss as to how bad it actually is. Therefore, having the SA repeated where people actually can give us more info seems like a good idea.

No it didn't take long to organise at all. I had to complete quite a detailed form and then was allocated a doctor who emailed me to discuss my treatment protocol. Then I was given prescriptions to get the meds and I was good to go!

I can help you with the sperm results if you have the details. We have had many of them so unfortunately know too much about it. My dh has low motility and morphology.

Welcome MPP, sorry you've found yourself here. Did your GP do all the fertility blood tests already or will you be having those privately too? I think with that wait time I'd go private straight off too. It's annoying that it's such a lottery - not everyone has the money to go private, it just doesn't seem fair.
We're also planning to get married next year but I really wanted to have a baby first because of my age (35). Not sure what to do now and if we end up having to pay for treatment I'm going to regret spending it on a wedding.

That would be great, thanks Lucie! When I get in later, I shall send them over. That's fab it was all so quick for you too! Having a plan seems to help I think. I'm too impatient for all this waiting.

Hi star, and thanks for the welcome! I haven't had the blood tests done yet. When we first went to the very pregnant gp, she was more interested in the pain I was having and sent me for the ultrasounds first but by the time I'd been and the results came back, she was off on maternity leave. The new gp said he wanted an SA and then we would 'decide what to do next' but when the results came back yesterday he just referred us straight off. He didn't say so, but the impression I got was that the results meant he felt referral was necessary regardless, which I found strange as I expected him to suggest a retest in 3 months first. Not that I'm complaining about early referral, with that waiting list!

I know what you mean about the wedding. When we first started planning, we wanted a small one with our close family and friends but we quickly got caught up in the ridiculous 'if we invite him, we have to invite her too' etc, and it's turned out to be rather large, which I now deeply regret. Im probably going to be thinking 'for every x amount of people, we could have had another go at IVF if needed' :( feel guilty saying that

Ok no probs MPP.

Had my appt at the NHS clinic this morning which went ok. They had to put the fan on me whilst taking blood as I came over all hot I had the scan then and they are very secretive lol. She said the womb all looks ok and then looked the left ovary and said hmm err the left ovary looks noooorrrmmaaal and counted to 5 which I presume was 5 follicles then she looked at the right side and didn't say anything at all and then it was over. I said is everything ok and I just got yes it's ok. My left ovary normally has less follicles than my right so I'm just hoping there was at least the same on the right side. Next appt 26th Jan and we will set up the treatment protocol and get the meds. I need to start bcp tomorrow for my treatment in Czech. It's all go.

In other news when I got into work the man I sit opposite had just announced his wife was pregnant with their third child. Everyone was congratulating him and playing the name game! This is the 4th time this has happened to me this year with someone I work quite closely with. 2 of the others are fairly close to due date now. It's so hard going through all this with everybody around me talking babies constantly. I haven't told anybody in the office about our situation and really don't want to.

That absolutely sucks, Lucie, and it must be horrible to have to deal with that every day. I think it would drive me insane. Is there anyone at work you would feel comfortable telling, just so you could have someone who understands what you're going through if you feel upset or irritated when the topic comes up?

No not really MPP there is nobody that I'm that close to that I would want to tell and I wouldn't trust them to not tell anybody else either as everybody loves to gossip in that place.

I've just been working out dates for my NHS treatment and whatever I do it seems like part of it will fall over Easter. I don't think the NHS does scans or collection etc on bank hols or weekends but I really don't want to wait another month either. I could do it in Feb but worried that might be too close to the Czech one and I might not respond as well. It's all so complicated!!

Ahhhhhh, I worked in a place like that once. Everybody tells at least one person and everything is an open secret.

I don't really know what to say re: Easter dates. I'm not clued up enough on this part of ttc yet to even offer an opinion. Why would you not respond as well if it was too close?

I have pm'd you DP's SA results as I was a bit worried about hogging the thread, but if you get chance to take a look and want to respond in here instead of pm that's completely good with me. Please don't feel like you have to look though :)

MPP, I've responded to your message.

Sometimes if you do the cycles too close together then your ovaries don't get as much chance to recover and don't respond as well.

Yes that's exactly why I don't want to tell people in work. Just wish I had a job where I worked from home and didn't have to listen to the daily baby chat.

My clinic e-mailed me my biopsy result. I just printed them off at work but for some reason it went to the main printer in reception rather than my individual printer next to me?! Hence mad rush down two flights of stairs to retrieve it - clearly says lab for reproductive medicine and immunology at the top so our receptionist would have known about my struggles! My boss knows cos I thought it would be easier if he understood why I would need time off. I only have three colleagues and would be incredibly surprised to be baby bombed at work. I have started unfollowing anyone who posts a scan pic/pregnancy announcement on FB though.

Remember Lucie that next year is the year!

Welcome MPP81, good to have you with us, though obviously sucks that you are also going through this. I've seen ladies on here report improved SA results after supplements etc.

My biopy result seems to be ok btw. Don't really understand it but the comment says 'Stromal regulatory activity appears adequate. Positive and negative control sections have been evaluated demonstrating appropriate tissue reactivity with the CD57 and FoxP3 monoclanal antibodies'. We're at the clinic next Thursday, the thing that concerns me is that everything I've read seems to talk about the biopsy being taken around a week after ov and mine was taken on CD12.