The commune is gathering for a sacred BFP! We are worshipping our womble conkers and admiring penis statues, but we're still remembering to jump our miroids at every opportunity! It's Just Shagging 54

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 53 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2457521-Oh-Shagging-Gods-Grant-us-our-Wish-A-Newborn-so-Tiny-to-Squish-By-Shagging-like-Stars-Or-with-Jizz-in-our-Bras-To-the-Disco-in-a-Petri-Dish-its-JS-53?msgid=56749960#56749960" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2444058-Just-Mumming-Thread-7-the-grads-grads-cope-with-walking-own-rooms-and-have-little-time-for-shagging" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

I've never ever had a long cycle country. Far too tired for shagging today, I can barely keep my eyes open, I'm exhausted. Poor old DH
Plus I'd be scared in case there is anything brewing down there, wouldn't want to upset things! yes I know it doesn't work like that but STILL

Really keeping my fingers crossed for you lil

chat they were testing for pots as apparently that seemed the most likely scenario however I was sceptical and just assumed it was mild inappropriate sinus tachycardia as a ent nurse my cardiology knowledge is pretty basic to say the least! Clearly as bp and hr dropped dramatically it's not pots! I had a 24hr tape which my cardiologist hasn't seen as results went to the gp which showed several sinus tachy episodes during the day but several sinus Brady ones whilst I was sleeping
Tink + Lil I was pretty out of it afterwards but asked what I could think of as there was a registrar in the room monitoring me he said that he was gonna make me a follow-up with consultant and that I'd get a letter in the post was quite frightening especially when he said if we didn't stop the test and tilt you back in all probability your heart would have stopped not sure that was helpful!

gosh cori you poor thing, sounds like you should take it easy and make sure you look after yourslef well until you know what's going on.
I dont know exactly what the tilt table test involves, but i would suggest no handstands for you until further notice hope that's not too inappropriately light hearted!?

as long as you test before the 10th lil then feel free to pick any day ;)
i'm going on holiday then and doubt i'll be able to mn much after that and dont want to miss out on the celebrations!! :)

Cori, that sounds terrible. Hopefully, they can clear up any questions you have in general and how it may (hopefully not) impact TTC!

For the viroids who have had a positive BFP before, do you know if any of the brands out there are more sensitive than the others?

I was hoping to wait to test until Saturday (AF due tomorrow or Thursday) but friends now want to go out tomorrow evening and if I’m not upduffed I’d like to drink!

london FRER's (First Response Early Result tests) are the best, avoid clear blue and any blue dye tests, try to get pink dye ones. Superdrug own brand are pretty good too but FRER's are a firm favorite. I got a super mega squinter at 9dpo and a pretty solid line at 11dpo on a FRER.

Thanks jelly!

I'll pick some up on the way home :)

I really wanted to wait to test until I was a few days late this cycle but alas I am poas early as usual

just remember they are pricey, which i think is what puts most people testing too early!

They are—early testing is literally pissing money away! If it’s a bfn, I won’t retest unless I haven’t gotten AF by the weekend which would have me 2-3 days late.

Thank u lil - just as I thought really. I'm not utterly convinced I did ovulate in the cycle of the blood tests. I wish they had some some tests on the last cycle though because I'm 99.9% sure I did! And DH seems to be knowledged-up on the count stats... Which surprised me as he never googles anything!

Good news is I have managed to book out first FC appointment for next Tuesday! In the first appointment do they just run through the results and what to expect (tests-wise) going forward?

tink I am pretty sure you can, from what the Drs told me. I'm going to get it clarified though next Tuesday. Not sure where you and just are based - maybe they have different arrangements?! Who knows!

cori hope you feel better soon x

Haha 5hell that literally made me lol I'm feeling fine physically today was absolutely washed out yesterday had to go to bed
London I would totally go with frer!

At my first fc appointment I saw a senior nurse who basically just said hi, booked me in for an ultrasound mid cycle and sent my notes to xray giving me a leaflet with number to call on cd1 to book hsg. Depending on clinic they may do an ultrasound at the appointment. Be warned, it will be a dildo cam ultrasound! Don't be afraid to ask what they are looking at/for explanation of what is on screen. I learnt at et last week that the dark parts are liquid which is why my follicles always looked like big black holes! yes yes I know all you Dr types are rolling your eyes at me

Ha, Cori I supervised hundreds of TT tests...nothing ever happened in any of them! Hopefully the consultant appt will come through quickly.

They are outrageously expensive London - POAIC if you're doing it early. You can pick up some pink dye tests on Amazon for not very much. Some of them will even deliver to the continent

Lil Wednesday if you please. I'll be CD26 on Tuesday, which is when the witch has swooped in the last two months...I'll need cheering up by Weds when it's apparent I'm out for another month.

Oh also vote frer. And tesco own are not very sensitive, plus they are blue dye. Other than that I've only ever used ics and 1 digi. Only 2frers to be fair! If you want to save pennies ics are as sensitive as frer's but not as clear but we love a squinter!

i've got a stash of IC's somewhere I need to get rid of if anyone wants them. I can post them :)

Not planning another before they go out of date then Jel?

I'd need to see how terrible amazing this one is first chat, but in all liklihood I'd just start over again and buy new ones, we are moving soon so i'm attempting to declutter!

i've also got some contraband clear blue pissy ovulation sticks if anyone wants those

jelly you're a bad influence!

Realised I haven't sharedy picture ofy little beans so here it is. Say hi, and tell them to stick around!

wooo keep growing little beanies!!!

cori sounds horrid. I'm only too aware of the anxiety caused by abnormal tests lately, I think it's important to bear in mind that if they thought something was horribly wrong they'd have wheeled you off to a ward there and then. This is what I keep telling myself how is your dd?

black if you're lurking, thinking of you. Hope things have started to go your way

lil I'm on hols on the 11th so if you and chat could oblige with a couple of bfps before then it would be much appreciated . Also, I'm glad you're not doing the daily testing this time. I think it sounds stressful. I chatted to someone I know who got their bfp that stuck on their 3rd icsi cycle and she said she got bfns on sticks until nearly the end of week 3 after the transfer! She knew something was happening before that though as the clinic did bloods. The icsi bfp is now 7 and has a 6 year old brother that she got upduffed with whilst breastfeeding! They tried for 5 years and were unexplained. Thought that was an interesting story. She must have been tearing her hair out.

keep it sounds like it's a very different process in all trusts. Our 1st fc app here was an hour with the consultant. All tests inc scans were arranged by GP prior to referral as they get bounced back to the GP if they haven't had them done. I only ever see a nurse at the endocrinology dept and she only does height and weight. The consultant went through all results with us, planned next steps and talked us through what the further steps would be, dependent on the outcome. We weren't really given any options. He just said this is the best course of action for you, if this doesn't work, then we'll move on to this. We asked about other options but he explained thoroughly why he wouldn't recommend them for us (clomid, etc). It sounds like lil had a completely different experience though.

london is it worth giving it a few more days, I'd hate you to get a false negative, go on the piss, then realise you were upduffed after all. Could you not just have one bucket of booze instead of two (yes I drink buckets) and then test when you're late?

Aaww, they're lovely lil

Be sticky beans!

Thanks everyone for all of the pissystick advice!

Tink, I think I might do that. Because I'm dillusional even if I got a bfn I'd probably still think I was upduffed until AF comes anyway! One bucket it is

Aah hi little beans! Nestle in good and proper. Love that your testing date is currently being decided by public vote Lil!

Hooyah london, no early pissing!

Shakes pompoms at the beans: snug yourselves into that uterine lining, I've heard it's very cozy in there!