Is this normal?

[zaza86]

My DH and I have both been broody for a year or so (and have been an avid mumsnet reader since!). Due to various circumstances within our control (job security / money etc) we agreed to put off TTC until now (or as we planned it September 2015!). We have achieved what we planned to so we would have everything in place as far as possible, but now the time has arrived to actually start trying, something is holding me back. It's very much something I want, I just wonder whether something is telling me to hold off a bit longer, or whether it's just nerves...? I keep thinking what a big change it will be, and once I'm pregnant I can never go back. Is it normal to feel this way?

Hi Zaza, i think this is perfectly normal, we had put ttc off for a couple of years to make sure we had done everything we wanted to do, but even when the agreed time came around I could have easily put it off again as though I wanted a family I just wasn't 100% sure I was ready to change my whole life. But we did start trying and it has been 8 months with no luck, so now I know I want my BFP more than anything, and almost wish we had started trying sooner.

Good luck with whatever you decide xx

Me and DH had to plan our TTC journey due to health problems I had so it took a few months of sorting me out and getting the go-ahead of various doctors until we could start TTC'ing and so when that time came it felt quite pressured. We'd been building up to it, planning it, and because it had become such an organised event when the time came to actual TTC it felt quite scary. I do remember feeling quite nervous too actually. It was like my mind was saying, "this is the moment you've been waiting for" and it was so daunting.

I think in the midst of all the planning we'd lost sight of the reality of the actual pregnancy at the end of the journey so when we were suddenly faced with actually trying to get pregnant it his us full force with the enormity of what we were doing.

The first time we had TTC sex it felt really, really odd because for months we'd been planning for it so it didn't feel relaxed or exciting - just nerve wracking.

It's really hard to explain!!

We agreed last November to start trying April this year. As April got closer, I started to make excuses about not being ready but DH pointed out there would be something else by Christmas which was when I wanted to put it back to.

Anyway, after some discussion and realisation you are probably never ready, we started TTC as planned. 3 months of BFNs confirmed that I really did want to be pregnant and was in tears day before my BFP as was convinced we had failed again.

The first time we dtd unprotected was so scary! (I have no idea how anyone can do this regularly if they don't want a baby!!)

I think of you're ready as you'll ever be, go for it and a couple of BFNs time, I'm sure you'll be sure it was the right decision too. Or you'll catch first time .

Ha, Writerwannabe I was going to say nerve wracking as well but thought that made me sound strange. Looks like it's a normal reaction!

Maybe no one can enjoy the first time if they plan for it for a while! Hehe!

This is really helpful, thanks! I know well that it likely won't happen straight away which would undoubtedly make me sure I want it. It's just the feeling that once you have a baby, there is no going back! And probably the weird build up to unprotected sex !

Very normal. I felt like that. Oh decided we just 'work through it' and we had sex once! I then changed my mind, had a massive freak out, not ready etc. 2weeks layer found out I was pregnant and was so happy (and terrified!).