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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

ttc with a partner with ED anyone??

21 replies

Sizzle1981 · 03/09/2015 21:00

Without going into a great amount of detail I was just curious if anyone else is struggling with a partner with erectile dysfunction ??
I'll be 34 at the end of the month and OH is 33. OH has a 5 yr old DD, this would be my first.
I was on one of the other forums but did notice that people were saying only dtd once this week and panicking. When I looked at my ovulation app I realised we haven't dtd since the end of MAY!!
Out of the 6 months we have been "trying" I would say only 2 have actually been cycles that could have had a chance.
We are definitely working on it together but I really just need to vent to anyone that understands.

OP posts:

GuessHowMuch · 03/09/2015 21:50

Has the ED been an ongoing thing or just linked to TTC more recently? It must be really frustrating for you both; adds an extra pressure to the already emotional journey of TTC.

Original poster

Sizzle1981 · 03/09/2015 23:06

Ongoing but was kind of swept under the carpet until ttc. OH was recently diagnosed with a medical condition so takes Prednisolone and likes to blame low sex drive on that but this really has been going on for close to two years.

OP posts:

Emu123 · 04/09/2015 09:50

Hey sizzle, you have my sympathies! My partner has always had a pretty low sex drive which we swept under the carpet too. Now we're ttc, some months it all goes wrong and we'll only manage it once and not even at the right time. Some months are better but it can be v upsetting so understand how u feel. We've found that cutting down on drink has helped and if we're going out, we'll try to do it before alcohol is involved! I hope you guys can work through it - ttc is stressful enough!

Original poster

Sizzle1981 · 04/09/2015 17:52

Thank you GuessHowMuch and Emu123!

Emu, it's so nice just to have someone in the same boat as me. Have you been trying long?
I hate for it to be the focus for me and OH because that just makes him feel like crap so thank you for posting! I'm actually really scared this will never happen
I know I need to be more positive.

I could see how alcohol would play a big role. OH doesn't actually drink at all so maybe a little might get him to losen up!

Fx for us all xx

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 04/09/2015 22:34

Have you considered AI? It might make it easier for him. Quite a few ladies on here have got pregnant using a syringe and a plastic cup.

lilygirl81 · 05/09/2015 00:14

I can relate to this too. I lost all sex drive due to pain and medications I was on for the last year or so, turned down all advances etc. since I got myself together, DH has really struggled, partly having spent a year trying to subdue any feelings he had, but also now due to depression. He has mentioned a couple of times a cup and syringe, but I wasn't sure if that was just an old wives tale.

We normally manage once a week if I keep pushing, but normally miss any likely good dates.

Original poster

Sizzle1981 · 05/09/2015 12:34

I would be willing to give AI a go, just not sure if OH would! May have to bring it up sometime soon.
Sorry to hear that Lilygirl. Are your health problems better now?

OP posts:

BiffleRoo · 05/09/2015 14:00

My DH has ED and we have a lb who is 1 and are ttc #2. I wasn't sure how easy it would be but luckily DH got some medication to 'help' and ttc was all the incentive he needed for a temporary boost in libido.

Emu123 · 05/09/2015 14:28

We've been trying for 9 months but we have had a mc during that time. I think the pressure of ttc post mc combined with low sex drive is our main issue. Everyone tells u to relax but when the advice is to do it every 2-3 days through the month and that's way more than we'd 'normally' do it, relaxing about it is pretty hard!

Do try and think positive though - people get preggers from one night stands so it must be possible - that's what I tell myself anyway!!

lilygirl81 · 05/09/2015 15:15

DH and I spoke about this earlier today, and he is totally onboard with trying AI if we haven't got our BFP this month.

sizzle unfortunately not, it's permanent, but recently changed my painkiller regime to a more libido and baby friendly one and feeling so much better.

Oysterbabe · 05/09/2015 17:57

That's good news. I've seen plenty of success stories with it. A lot men get a bit of performance anxiety when expected to produce the goods on demand so it makes it easier for them.

Original poster

Sizzle1981 · 05/09/2015 20:17

That's great Biffle. We did get some magic blue pills but have only tried them once. Oh reckons he needs 2 next time as he felt a change but not enough.
Sorry about the mc Emu123. I can't imagine how painful that was for you both. Every 2-3 days seems impossible at the moment but maybe one day soon!
It does amaze me that people can get preggers by accident but it definitely makes me hopeful.
Glad you're feeling better on your new painkillers Lily.
Fx everyone x

OP posts:

Violet88 · 07/09/2015 11:05

pm'd you. Sizzle

Original poster

Sizzle1981 · 07/09/2015 19:09

Thanks Violet x

OP posts:

lilygirl81 · 09/09/2015 09:36

That's my little sample pots and syringes ordered, together with pre-seed. Just out of interest, does anyone know if DH happened to use one of the pots while I was at work, would there still be any alive by the time I got home? Most things on the internet suggest 10-15 minutes is best, but I think he tends to do it in the morning or afternoon and I don't get home until 5:30...

Original poster

Sizzle1981 · 09/09/2015 19:34

I actually Googled that a few days ago. Seems about 1 hour is the max but I wonder if you can refrigerate it for later. Will have to have a look!

OP posts:

lilygirl81 · 10/09/2015 09:17

I read somewhere that an AI service in the USA will courier it to you overnight in a refrigerated container, I wonder if he might be able to stick it in the fridge?

I'm waiting on my ovulation microscope arriving, hoping that it might be strong enough to see any swimmers as well, then I could test after a number of hours and let people know the results...

Original poster

Sizzle1981 · 10/09/2015 18:11

Ovulation microscope???

OP posts:

lilygirl81 · 11/09/2015 09:14

Sizzle someone mentioned one on another thread, so I thought I'd give it a go. It's not exactly cheap, mine was £18.99, but you can reuse it so a good investment long term. Basically, you put a tiny dot of saliva on it, et it dry then look through the other end, it just looks like blobs until you get your surge and then it turns into fern type crystals. I didn't realise you had to let it dry though, so obviously no way it could be used for swimmers.

Original poster

Sizzle1981 · 12/09/2015 12:48

Sounds interesting! You'll have to let us know if you do see any changes!!

OP posts:

lilygirl81 · 04/10/2015 11:15

Just wondered how you all are getting on? DH has seemed better this month, have managed to dtd loads more. What seems to be working is me stimulating him in some way to start, massage, or something more sexy, and then finishing off where he needs to be. Only thing is my opk has not gone positive and I'm on day 16, but we will see how it turns out

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