Still struggling to conceive no. 2 after getting pregnant easily first time round

[LittlePoot]

So, on the back of a run of rather fantastic success stories, it's time to start another thread for those of us still driving ourselves a bit nuts trying to work out why number 2 seems to be so elusive. New frustrated, obsessive testers always welcome (as are our lovely graduates) and let's hope this thread turns out as many success stories as the last.

Fruitbat - I had a blood test today and the very helpful nurse threw in a thyroid check and progesterone (as I'm about day 22). She said results only take 2 days to come back so I can phone up Friday to get them. Yours should be about back by now?

Thanks little, got a text this morning saying all normal, which said to call if you want more info, I did call and they won't tell me the numbers - just told me to see gp but all normal, grr why say in text call for more info if you don't give any...

But on the plus side progesterone normal at 9/10 dpo, so window seems reasonably wide

bit grumpy now 11/12dpo and still bfn :(

Good news that the tests are all clear but crap news about the bfn. I've still got another couple of days before I can test so swinging between thinking I must be pregnant this month after all the new supplements and acupuncture and all and knowing really that I'm not because these are the symptoms I get every single month. Its rubbish isn't it! Second batch of acupuncture tomorrow though so that should cheer me up.

Hello all, can I come and join/lurk about on this thread please?? I'm not quite qualified as not necessarily 'struggling' yet - had coil out in May and fell straight away, then started spotting at 10 weeks and a scan showed an empty sac measuring 5 weeks. Haemorrhaged a couple of days later and ended up with an emergency ERPC and narrowly avoiding blood transfusion! That was 2 weeks ago today so I'm currently in limbo-land waiting for things to get back to normal - hoping to be one of these magical unicorn people that fall straight away and have a lovely easy pregnancy, but obviously am also stressing about everything that can possibly be stressed about! I have a lovely DD who just turned 3 a few days post-op and had a mmc before her - went for 12 week scan and baby had died at 9ish weeks. So I don't have a problem falling pregnant, but seem to have an issue with getting an actual baby at the end of it! Currently trying to get my iron back up - Hb was 8.6 when I was admitted to A&E just before ERPC eek! So am still pretty pale but pinking up slowly. Sorry for my giant ramble, nice to be here, hope you'll have me!

Hi AndThisISTrue here with a name change! How is everyone getting on? After af finally turning up I am waiting for what feels like forever when round the time I should OV. Going to start doing OV tests at the weekend I think when I'll be 10dpo. Fingers crossed the inositol has done some good. I have had very little appetite this week and my skin has gone to pot, not sure if that would be related to starting the inositol though?
At toddler group just now and there are 5newborns here, urgh so depressing, I just want a baby!!!

Hi everyone, hope you're well. Welcome to the newbies. Hope your stay is a short one.

Little How is acupuncture going? I'm not too fussed on it, but will continue for a couple of months & see how things go.

My friend recomended this machine to me. She said 2 of her friends who were struggling fell pregnant straight away using it. Anyone have any experience of using it? Think i'll buy it after AF arrives early Sept.

Girls I am struggling without coffee. I'm due to ovulate either today, tomorrow or Monday. I'm so tired due to working so hard lately. Surely one cup this morning won't make a difference???

Hello - back after being locked out on mumsnet for a few days with pass word reset trouble.

Welcome neverland, you are very welcome on here, fingers crossed not for too long.

I got AF today, which I was expecting as my temp plummeted Friday.

Had a lot of fun little reading about all of the sperm sample shenanigans when you were doing that, DH and I now have a logistical plan for Wednesday, of course the hospital has no facilities for producing sample, rubbish car park which you have to queue for an hour to get in to and is over an hour by public transport.... So it's the driver and passenger to run in solution that we have gone with....

little if you don't mind me asking where did you go for your private opinion - GP very dubious is NHS clinic will even see me round here, although I will push as could do with free investigations.

Af's arrival has pushed me to get on with investigations, that and the fact I'm 40 next month and feel that the curtains are drawing in on any chances to have another baby. - totally know what you mean about babies bish

village and little how's your acupuncture going? - keen to hear updates..

Don't know if I could do without having coffee completely village - I've cut down but that first morning one is really tricky..

I've found my tribe! Can I join?

I have DD (3) and two Mc this year. Been trying for a year and now officially had enough. DD asked me for a baby brother last night and I cried. Felt so guilty and useless, while also knowing how lucky we are to have one child when some don't have any.

Sis in law is popping babies out year after year - no 4 just born! - and there are lots of hints being dropped by the in laws about when it'll be our turn.

Grrrrr.

fruitbat it's driving me insane I was going on at my last acupuncture appointment that much, asking him for evidence it will prevent pregnancy etc, that he said I can have the odd cup after ovulation until AF. Anyway, I had a positive ovulation test today, so hopefully i'll ovulate tomorrow, so how long does it take the egg to travel down the fallopian tubes? Assuming I can have coffee once egg is safely where it needs to be.

Cake Welcome! It's awful isn't it when they really want a sibling. You feel so shit.

Thanks Village. DD loves playing with her dolls and is always saying "this is my sister" and "I've got a baby in my tummy" (that one's a bit weird).

She's also told family that I'm pg, bit embarrassing when I have to say I'm not!

Thank you for the welcome fruitbat also hoping not to stay too long, in the nicest possible way! Think I possibly felt some ov pains happening last couple of days - am currently 16 days post-ERPC, test was still positive a week after but negative 2 weeks to the day so keeping my fingers crossed that body is going back to normal! Been at it with OH anyway, he works away in the week so we have to take our chances when we can!
village I could not function without coffee, it would destroy my soul, so hats off to you!
cake my DD let the cat out of the bag last time - we foolishly told her and she told EVERYONE, was meant to be a secret! Of course then had to un-tell her, she took it very well but often says she can't wait for a baby which is a bit heart-wrenchy!
Just got my feet up after 110 miles of motorway coming home from the MIL, hope everyone's had a good Sunday and has a good week ahead

Hi everyone! I read through this thread last night, and would love to join in if you'll have me!! I have an 8yo who I had when I was 30. Ironically, because it seems over 35 it's harder to conceive, almost everyone else in my NCT was over 40, or late 30s. I felt so young to have a child, and was one of a few of my contempories. Basically the first. I was 30. Since then we were very poor for first 4 years, as my DH was doing a PHD, then I got a medical condition (joint pain thing) that put me on medication I couldn't get preg on. Anyway, the long and the short of it is I am here with only 1 child mainly because of circumstances beyond my control. I've been off the drugs nearly 2 years, and had the mirena out last May (2014). Since then, we've been trying on and off, mainly and more mindfully this year since May. No luck so far! My cycle is anywhere as late as 31 days to 19 days, but mainly is 24-26 days long. I really though I was going to be this month, as we'd been on holiday, relaxed etc, but just started dreaded AF!! I'm aiming to track really properly this month, as I'm still not sure if I'm actually ovulating much later than Ovia and Glow (the two ovulation apps I'm using) are just getting my FP completely wrong! It's also really interesting to read about the acupuncture a few of you are doing. I'll be really interested how that will turn out. Crossing my fingers for you all!

Hi Ella and never and cake and welcome. I'm afraid I'm struggling today. AF arrived, right on time, with no phantom pregnancy symptoms whatsoever so I didn't even test (probably for the first time ever) and I'm just feeling like this is a complete waste of time. I really think that's it for us and I'm never going to get pregnant again. It's been more than two years, we've done everything we're supposed to. And not even a tiny hint of a pregnancy. Its just not going to happen is it? This is the first time I've actually felt like this - most months I just think 'ok, maybe next time'. Now I just think next time is going to be the same as all the other times and why don't I just quit and get on with my life. I've got an appointment with the consultant at the private clinic (Zita West clinic in London for whoever asked earlier) in a couple of weeks, but other than spending another couple of grand on tests and then being told to go for ivf (which I could barely afford one round of, let alone after paying for the tests) I don't really see what that's going to achieve. Acupuncture is nice - seems to have reduced my stress levels already, which can't be a bad thing. But it's kind of bollocks really isn't it, rather than a miracle cure? I'm just feeling old and past it and pretty bloody miserable to be honest. Not a good start to a miserable rainy week.

Hi LittlePoot - I'm so sorry you're feeling so low today. you're bound to have lows like this, it is inevitable. But perhaps the acupuncture is helping, having no symptoms might be a good thing. Last month I had so many phantom symptoms it was awful, and stressful, and felt like my body was all over the place. Perhaps it is a sign your body is leveling off a bit? And even the way you feel today, could be good. It's better to let it all out and feel it, than keep it all bottled up!!

I read this great book recently called Creativity Inc the other day, and at one point the author talks about trying to find a mental model for your creative journey. I liked this one, but there are others. Imagine you hAve decided to sail across the ocean in a little boat. You want to get to the other side, but you will get tossed around in storms, have clear waters, and choppy waters, etc... You shouldn't expect it to all be plain sailing, as it were. I know it is hard when you are TTC, as some people do have plain sailing, no problems. But if you try and see this as part of your journey to baby no 2, maybe it will help?? Sending you well wishes, hugs and strength!!

Oh little {hugs} from over here I can totally empathise with that feeling. I'm 40 next month and really feel it is pretty much the end of the road for me too.
In a way the constant hope each month seems to make it worse in a sense as I can't seem to get on with grieving the loss of the hope of a second child.

Had a row with DH as he has taken stance he doesn't want any assisted conception as we have DD, he has agreed to sperm test, so we will see. Grrh- the hope no hope thing goes on.

Ah little big big hugs. It's so hard isn't it, especially when people IRL don't know what to say or say all the wrong things. After this 2nd mc I got a lot of "at least you can get pregnant!" which I wanted to say isn't a whole lot of bloody use if you don't get a baby at the end!
Re: acupuncture and stuff, I don't think anything is a 'miracle cure' but we've all heard the miracle stories, and I suppose even if all it does is relaxes you, it's worth persevering with (cost allowing) - think most people could do with a bit of relaxation regardless of ttc or anything else! It's hard as everyone's circumstances are so personal and only you know how far you're willing to go, how much you spend etc before you say 'enough is enough'. Or get a bfp of course!
The lack of control and lack of any definite answers sucks so hard. Realistically, there are of course ways to help things along, but the whole thing, from conception to birth to all the rest of it, is pretty much pure luck. And some people are more lucky than others. As evidenced by that 1 person we all know who seems to pop out a kid a year without a second thought!

Thanks guys. I know that all makes sense. Just gets a bit tough sometimes. I'm feeling a bit more robust again now the hormones have subsided a bit, so back to the plan and fingers crossed something we're doing will start to make a difference. Annoyingly, my blood tests from last week haven't come back yet so now I'm dying to know if they uncover a problem (particularly because that would be something treatable - it was thyroid function and another day 21 progesterone test). No acupuncture this week so I'm merrily polishing off the bottle of cava from the weekend....

Cava would be my answer Little. I have also been properly fed up since AF arrived again....wondering why, what is wrong with me.

Bought a different set of the clear blue ovulation tests (this time the purple ones that show high as well as peak) as last month had no peaks, but 2 the month before..weird. Anyhoo got my flashing smiley yesterday and today and DH is away working and when he gets back tomorrow I know he will be too knackered....aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhh

But concerned I am becoming obsessed with it all, DH just thinks nature will take its course, he doesn't get the bit about timing. When he's knackered from work I have no hope!

wait my DH is the same, I honestly don't understand how he's so bloody chilled about it all. I'm not even 3 weeks out from ERPC so nowhere near AF even and I'm completely and utterly obsessed!

Good news re: flashing smiley but not good re: knackered DH; sexy undies?!! Striptease?! Candles and wine?? Or failing all that, just tell him he needs to do his duty, give it a rub and hop on?! In our house it's known as a 'purpose shag', when you're both vaguely up for it but can't really be bothered to do much so you both get your rocks off with minimal effort, and then ignore each other and fall asleep - not the most romantic of liasons, but if it gets the job done...

You are so right Never. Will try the wine approach then quickly progress to its your duty!!

Haha, they have to pull their weight a bit! We do all the hard work after all My DH works away all week so can sympathise with timing difficulties, it's not helpful is it!

Just checking in here after seeing a fertility specialist doctor today - after describing my situation and having an internal scan he's fully agreed with my self diagnosis of luteal phase defect and sent me on my way with progesterone pessaries. Over the moon to have been listened to and that I can now actually have a fighting chance of getting pregnant!!

Great news MrsM - so good to have some treatment and I really hope it works!

And sadly, we're all for dutiful shagging in this house too. It all starts off with good intentions but usually reverts to "what, again? go on then"

Mrs M that's really exciting news.

I have a third day of flashing smileys, I though it was meant to be two, oh well. Hopefully it will be the static one tomorrow. At least I have a bit more of a window to try.

It is nice to know I am not the only one having to pester, it's not good for my ego having to persuade him for some action!!

Glad your feeling a bit better little

Got DH's sample to the lab today - we had one shot today both off work and able to handle the logistics of it - worse I think than shag on request.. It's the aim at the pot bit, and fear of failure to get in pot, but all achieved - just wait for the results now...
little surprised that yours are not back yet - frustrating

And woo hoo mrsM so pleased for you, fingers crossed that does the trick.